A Wakeful Night of Needing Him Inside of Me

Looking back at the last post that either of us wrote and shared here, I am amazed by how much time we let slip by. This is the second time that life got in the way of writing about what my husband and I enjoy when we have time together (go figure?). When this time of the year falls upon us, our lives get so busy that making time to write about our favorite activity is secondary but at least we never allow our intimate lives to be de-prioritized – only the writing about it takes a backseat.

We are in the midst of a season change within our lives and we know that it is for the good of each of us individually and also for our relationship and marriage. Change may not always seem good when it commences but once we walk through it (and Paul and I are doing this together, as one), we see that helps us to draw closer together. Our marriage is growing and getting stronger and our intimacy is one of the most amazing and perfect parts of us as a couple. As I write this, I am thinking of how to send a special surprise to Paul to enjoy while he is at work. I want to be my husband’s all. I want him to know in the deepest recesses of his soul that I am his and he is mine – not as property but as two necessary parts of a single, beautiful and wonderful being that cannot exist without being joined. We are that being. We are one. Our intimacy – when our bodies are joined as our souls – is a physical demonstration of what oneness is like. In understanding this demonstration, I am propelled to write about the intimacy that my husband and I share together and so, this blog exists for me as a vehicle to convey this for myself and for him. It is my hope that what I share on this blog stands as an example of what a wife can and should expect from her husband. I also share my desires and experiences for other husbands to have a glimpse of what their wives might be desiring from them (if they are not presently receiving the gifts that Paul and I share with each other).

I had difficulty sleeping last night. As I lay there, I listened to Paul’s patterns of breathing. I was in sheer contentment as I focused on this dear, sweet man. His presence next to me, the warmth from his body and the scent of his skin was comforting even as my head was incapable of letting go of the swirling and unnecessary thoughts. As time moved, shifting tempos between fast and slow, I continued to think about this man beside me. I knew that in a few hours, there would be a vacancy as his physical presence would be removed from me when he departed for work. I don’t know what pushed me but I soon felt the ache in my lower body while I thought about him leaving for work. It wasn’t only a sense of aching that was taking hold in my body, I felt waves of desire begin to swell within me as if my womb was in need. That ache was almost painful and I felt my eyes begin to tear. The comfort of lying next to Paul was transforming into an overbearing physical need to feel his body blending with mine.

I moved closer to Paul. He was sleeping on his side and facing me. I carefully slid my hand down to find his cock; gently touching him to notice that he was partially erect. His breathing pattern remained unchanged and I carefully caressed his penis. I moved my other hand down to be able to hold his shaft with one while gently stroking him with the other. I was conflicted in doing this. Not wanting to wake him while struggling with the need to have him inside me was a strange sensation within me. I slowly continued and his cock was responding to the touch. Paul was sleeping deeply while his cock was growing in my hands.

I wanted to slide my head beneath the covers and carefully take his cock into my mouth without disrupting his sleep. I started to slowly adjust my body, gradually sliding myself downward using my legs and wiggling my ass. As I drew closer, I pulled my head down beneath the covers and came face to face with his cock as I held him in my hands. He was completely firm. The hardness of the head was palpable to my fingertips. Paul’s shaft was solid and pushing upward towards his tummy. My lips now wet from licking them in anticipation, I parted them and carefully took him in. The sweet taste of his skin was accentuated by the residue left behind from our love-making when we went to bed. I could taste the combination of our flavors – his semen and my fluids, still semi-moist upon his skin. Paul moaned as I moved my tongue around the head of his cock. He was starting to wake. I felt a jolt in my mouth as his cock grew even more firm. I wondered if me sucking his cock would impact his dreams. What would the sensations do to his subconscious thoughts? Would he dream of me or perhaps instead a faceless woman that he may never tell me about?  I continued with what I was doing and he was responding to it.

“Baby?” he moaned. I knew he was coming out of his sleep. “What are you doing, baby?”

I wanted him to feel the need inside of me. I continued to suck and lick his cock, now with greater intensity. Paul lifted the covers off of me and let out such a deep, guttural moan of pleasure. His hand moved down and touched my face. I love the way that he caresses my face with his hands when he kisses me. There is never anything forceful when I suck his cock. He receives what I am giving to him without pushing or pulling on me. His hands tenderly run through my hair as I move on him. Slowly my pace, I lifted my mouth slightly and spoke to him with his cock still between my lips, “I need you to fuck me, baby!” I spoke with a soft, but demanding whisper. He tugged at my arms to pull me up to him, meeting his lips with a kiss. His tongue pushed between my lips as I rolled to my back. I didn’t want anything but his cock inside me. I needed to feel him right at that moment. I pulled his cock to lead him onto me and he followed my lead, positioning his hips between my separated thighs.

I kept pulling his cock to the entrance of my wet opening. Sensing the wetness that began to leak out of me, I realized that I was extremely aroused and flooding inside of me. Paul had filled me with semen only a few hours ago and though he cleaned so much out of me before we finished, I still had a considerable amount inside. His cock parted me and he slid into me without hesitation. The immediate sensation of being full inside of me demonstrated how hard my husband was already. The sensation of being on the cusp of pain and extreme pleasure from being filled with his cock was exactly what I was craving. He began to move within me. Each time he pulled back, I could feel wetness being extracted from me and leaking down across my anus. The sounds of the wetness are exciting. I love to hear the fucking noises – the crisp noise as he plunges into me and withdraws. Pure heaven!

Paul was seemingly half-asleep as he gently moved inside of me. The tenderness of his body against me along with the warmth we were creating together was satisfying my needs. I could feel him drawing closer towards his climax. I wanted his pleasure and his release inside of me. The need to feel him letting go into me was seemingly insatiable. His pace quickened as I spread my knees apart as far as I could to enable him to penetrate me as deep as possible. The mixture of pain from his size and the pleasure of taking him so deeply caused me to repeatedly gasp. After a few more deep strokes, his body stiffened as his cock swelled inside of me.  He held himself inside of me with his first pulse of semen exiting his cock. I could feel every motion of his penis as he released every bit of what I craved. I could feel him soften inside of me as his breathing quieted.

The satisfaction of giving my husband pleasure is sometimes as gratifying as having my own orgasms. This time was even more enjoyable for me. Paul was able to go back to sleep after a deep kiss. His breathing normalized as he drifted off. I felt myself beginning to slip to restful sleep as my husband’s cum began to breach my vulva. It was heavenly.

Waking this morning to an empty spot next to me in our bed would normally provide momentary sadness but today, feeling Paul’s semen inside of me and between my legs left me smiling and enjoying his presence inside of me. This is just one aspect of how we love each other and what our intimacy can be and is. Tonight, we will come together again and Paul will be giving to me as I do for him. Tonight it will be perfect.

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Blowing Past the Roadblocks and Extending Intimacy (Part II)

Male physiological response to orgasm and ejaculation is, for the most part, carved into stone. However, there are ways to push beyond the physical limitations but, like wheeling a large ship, the rudders take time to respond to the helm commands.

In Part I of this topic, I covered a handful of the roadblocks that couples (husbands in particular) encounter, preventing them from reaching beyond the gravitational bonds of routine and vanilla intimacy. As one of my friends suggests, the “one and done” mindset (meaning, a single orgasm for one or both spouses) during intimacy can become the norm for far too many marriages without any awareness or realizations that they have become mired in a sexual rut. Like Burt Reynolds’ character (Bandit) in the film, Smokey and the Bandit, I have been bursting through those roadblocks like a 1978 Trans Am running from Sheriff Buford T. Justice.

My hope is that what I am covering today in Part II will provide you with the motivation, excitement and high octane fuel for my readers to blow through each barricade with the accelerator pedal pushed to the floor and through it. I only ask of my readers that they take into consideration that what worked (and is working) for me, may not bring you the same success or, if it does, not in the same timing. The two-most important tools to breaking through are patience and communication.

Overcoming body chemistry limitations
Male physiological response to orgasm and ejaculation is, for the most part, carved into stone. However, there are ways to push beyond the physical limitations but, like wheeling a large ship, the rudders take time to respond to the helm commands. We have to lighten the load, so to speak, in order to make the vessel more responsive. We can’t be dragging an anchor in the water or have a tow-line attached to a ore-laden barge while trying to maneuver as a speedy, nimble frigate.

Stowe the Anchor
What are you dragging that you could retract? Some of us men have challenges with our semen.  In my experience, I had a semen avoidance problem. Though, in my fantasies, I wanted to perform oral on my wife after I ejaculated inside of her, I couldn’t get passed being squeamish around my ejaculate. I had to slowly walk myself through this process. Having made the decision to eat my creampies, first, I masturbated to the point where my penis began emitting precum. From there, I had to start sampling this liquid in order to get an idea of what my cum tasted like. After several sessions (over the course of a few months off and on), I was masturbating to full ejaculation (and orgasm) into my hand and sampling from the large deposit. It still took some time before I could take the entire load into my mouth.

(Note: Squeamish folks may want to skip past this paragraph.) In order to take all of my ejaculate, I thought that it would be easier if I could take it straight from the tap. Being fairly flexible and athletic, one day, I began working my penis and the thought occurred to me that I could contort my body to get the head of my penis close to my mouth when I got close to the point of orgasm. When I felt the pressure rise, I opened my mouth and fired away. Most of my load (at least a tablespoon+) shot and drizzled into my mouth while some deposited onto my chin. I swirled (what was then, the largest amount of my cum that I have had in my mouth) the sweet and salty, warm substance around to get a good idea of it and then swallowed it down. I now knew full well what my wife had been enjoying (yes, she tells me that she loves my product) for years. That roadblock is firmly and resoundingly smashed. Having broken through, I no longer masturbate to eat my semen as I have progressed.

Crank up the Engines for Increased Maneuverability
I am as stubborn as they come and when it comes to breaking through these obstacles, I move slowly. If you understand basic seamanship, you know that adding speed along with rudder changes makes the vessel respond quickly and much more nimble. Not happy with my successive failures in achieving my creampie eating objectives, I determined that I might have better success if I could fill my wife with semen without experiencing full orgasmic ejaculations. During sexual stimulation and arousal, men experience small releases of seminal fluids that serve to lubricate the vagina. In layman’s terms, this is known as precum. However, this dribble of fluid would hardly serve to saturate my wife’s vagina to the point where I’d be happy having eaten a creampie. No, I had to take a different approach.

Throughout our sexual relationship, I have gained awareness of the pressure buildup that is the precursor to orgasm. In many intercourse sessions, in my attempts to prolong the enjoyment for both my wife and me, as I felt the impending point of no return, I could stop thrusting to avoid orgasm. In doing so, I would release an amount of ejaculate that was quite similar to what I achieved when releasing a full orgasm. Recommencing thrusting, I could feel the obvious flood of semen that was now present inside my wife. This process is what I term as “edging.” Armed with this knowledge, I thought that rather than try to wait until after I had an orgasm, I could spend some time having penis-in-vagina (PIV) intercourse, ejaculate into my wife via edging, then move down for some delightfully sloppy cunnilingus.  After a few times of edging and subsequent pie-eating, the mental block begins to decay.

My Sails are Unfurled, But the Air is Calm There is nothing quite like dead air when your ship is trying to make way. You have no power to move and obviously, there is no power to change your course. You’re stuck, dead in the water (DIW). In my previous two methods of breaking through the roadblocks, I have addressed to proven methods to overcome some specific challenges that are rooted more in the mental arena. This method is used to overcome a physical challenge that can arise when attempting to use the edging technique.

In the midst of PIV intercourse, you sense the rise of pressure as you are heading to eminent orgasm. As you become aware, of the impending moment, you decide that you want to shut off the orgasm before you reach the PONR only to find that you are physically incapable of doing so successfully. Suddenly, your penis is throbbing as spurt after spurt of semen is flinging amazingly into your wife’s vagina. The inevitable happens again as your loss of desire in eating her creampie rears up once again. Dead in the water.

This happened to me on so many occasions that I’d be better served counting the hairs on my thickly-covered scalp than to tally the numbers of failed attempts to control my ejaculations. I read some information about premature ejaculation and incontinence (not that I suffer from either of these very devastating conditions) while keying in on the idea that one can shut off the flow of ejaculation. Kegel exercises can help with many aspects of male (and female) sex organ health. For me, they have helped me to gain absolute control over my ejaculatory response.

I have an app on my Android phone that helps me keep on track with my exercises. I am prompted to work out my PC muscle 3-4 times a day, adhering to the strict repetitions and intervals of each set. The results are downright amazing. In just a few days of exercising, I could shut down the orgasm while my ejaculations occurred. Today, I can edge 3-4 times (each edge produces 3-5 spurts of semen) which leaves a considerable amount of fluids inside my wife.

All Engines Ahead Full!  Communication is imperative in navigating a ship. The coordination of information between the navigation plotters, the folks shooting visual bearings, the ship’s conning officer and the helmsman is a delicate, yet deliberate dance of oral interaction and actions. Without the direct flow of information, chaos ensues and the ship can stand into danger.

The same principle applies in the bedroom. The single most effective method in overcoming barriers in this creampie quest that propelled me the furthest and fastest was communication. When I finally realized that my bride who loved me and honored me as her husband would harbor no ill thoughts toward me when I told her about my desires. Once I fully understood that my deepest, most erotic thoughts were safe with her (and hers with me), I knew that we would be able to enjoy so much more during our sexual intimacy.

I told Melinda initially (about my desire to lick her cum-soaked vulva) while I was in the midst of thrusting during intercourse. Her immediate escalation of arousal was an obvious sexual response, but it wasn’t in the realm of her consciousness yet. I had to do that during an authentically open dialog in the proper context (she can’t talk about sex unless she’s already thinking about it). At first, her reaction was lacking enthusiasm, however the more she considered it, the more she liked the idea. Since then, she is very encouraging and prepares us both for my creampie eating session.

There are certainly other methods that folks have employed in overcoming these barriers. While those I described are what I used, there are, perhaps others that some of you want to share. I also know that there are women out there who desire for their husbands to do this, but as of yet, haven’t bothered to propose it to them due to a myriad of concerns that could result in rejection.

If you have taken the lead in overcoming any roadblocks in the pursuit of creampie eating (either as a giver or recipient), we would love to hear what has worked for you!

Identifying and Understanding the Roadblocks to Continuing Intimacy (Part I)

For me, the communication barrier is the fear of rejection. My fantasies all involve my wife (meaning I don’t have any thoughts of including others), no public sex, etc. My fantasies aren’t exactly mild, either. But, I don’t easily tell them to my wife. I know that if I have unmentioned fantasies, my wife has some as well.

As one who wanted to gain some insight from husbands who had experienced success in overcoming the post-intercourse orgasm loss of interest and the physiological-mental mandated cessation of intimate activities, I turned to the internet to see what other husbands have dealt with. Sadly, the web is rife with (big shock) pornography and scant few helpful guidance regarding how to actually launch into one’s’ spouse’s semen-saturated vulva.

Wading through the muck, I did find some nuggets of information that are seemingly based in scientific fact. For many men, we have some amazingly well thought out plans for continuing intimacy beyond our orgasm. We imagine out pleased our spouses will be when we can pull out after releasing and commence with another round of cunnilingus. The thought of diving into a pool of our love juices, dominated by our semen, is highly arousing (to many of us) with the desire to bring our lover to another orgasm is highly erotic. For me, the re-hashing my plan as I am thrusting inside of my wife has been such a huge turn-on, that I lose all control and orgasm arrives considerably faster than I had anticipated. The emotional let-down, combined with the post-orgasm interest loss only means that another plan has been laid to waste.

Working against chemistry
I have pondered this (as have many unsatisfied wives, I am certain) for years. Why can’t I just get passed this reflexive response? One doctor asserts that mens’ body chemistry actually changes in the moments following orgasm. Dr. Billy Goldberg (co-author of Why Do Men Fall Asleep After Sex?) asserts, “the biochemical prolactin is released, physically altering his body and making him very tired.” As we are all unique and our bodies respond to stimuli and chemistry differently, some men are, more than likely, less affected by the flood of oxytocin, prolactin, gamma amino butyric acid. This release can affect both the level of sexual interest and arousal as well as the ability to stay erect and awake.

Challenged by temporary increased (near-painful) sensitivity
I suppose that for some, the ability to continue on after a full orgasmic ejaculation is easier than it is for others and there are plenty of anecdotes swirling around the internet that seem, to suggest that. Unfortunately for me, I am firmly in the camp where I really have to force myself and work to continue on, fighting the hypersensitivity that my penis experiences, post-orgasm (some of you men are familiar with the “please stop” requests we make to our wives). For a subset of this group, continued stimulation can be downright painful.

I have read other anecdotes that seem to suggest that with age, this post-orgasm hurdle diminishes somewhat as the penis loses some sensitivity. I can confirm that I have been able to continue onward, more so in the recent years as opposed to in my youth.

Culturally stigmatized
Rtumblr_o32zlwvnZH1v03usjo1_500egardless of the community (secular, faith-based) there are many who are seated firmly within certain camps who view any sort of semen ingestion negatively (regardless if the person tasting the fluid is male or female). Still others look down solely upon a man in disgust when the idea of him taking in his own semen is mentioned. It is also very common for both husband and wife to pursue post-coital clean-up via a shower or a quick wipe down with a towel or tissue (though tissue can make the mess worse…don’t go this route) and discard the liquid product of their lovemaking. Some folks (on various sex discussion forums infer that a man consuming his semen from his wife’s vagina is a homosexual act (which hardly makes sense when husband and wife clearly constitutes a heterosexual couple – for my definition, anyway).

Perhaps the biggest stigma isn’t a spoken or demonstrated one at all. Perhaps the male spouse has inserted his own roadblock (to licking his semen from his wife), imagining his wife’s negative reaction as he moves down to perform cunnilingus on her semen-saturated vulva?

Too little time, too darned tired
In my marriage, both my wife and I have gotten caught in a trap of staying up way too late. After we get the kids to bed, we have a very short window of time for just the two of us to talk an interact as adults. Our kids lead a very active lifestyle as do my wife and I, and so the time for sexual intimacy gets squeezed and encroached upon. I get up well before the sun rises for my job, so simply staying up later for sex, though I am fine with the sex-for-sleep trade, my wife isn’t. On the nights when she still wants to have a little something, it is a quickie or wait for another night.

If I had a dollar for every night that this fragile window of time was shattered by a late night phone call, a kid who chose not to sleep, or a lengthy discussion was started, I would be an extremely wealthy man. If I had all of that money, I would trade it in an instant to have all of those nights of intimacy restored to us.

How do we overcome these roadblocks?
Regardless of the barriers and inhibitions that arise for the man who, with every intention before and during intimacy, has laid plans that this moment is going to be THE moment, fails yet again to carry out the act. The repeated disappointment routine can be maddening and very discouraging while injecting serious difficulties into the marriage bed as the husband never experiences success and is too inhibited to talk about it. This is a very serious concern for marriages. The bottom line in this is that we need to be bold in our marriages. We love and trust each other with so many other aspects of our lives. We are sharing our bodies with each other when we engage in sexual activities. How is it that we don’t share our desires and fantasies with each other? We don’t communicate. Why?

For me, the communication barrier is the fear of rejection. My fantasies all involve my wife (meaning I don’t have any thoughts of including others), no public sex, etc. My fantasies aren’t exactly mild, either. But, I don’t easily tell them to my wife. I know that if I have unmentioned fantasies, my wife has some as well.

Continue to Part II
This is part one of a multi-part series with the goal in mind to de-stigmatize the sharing of sexual fluids between partners. Men and and women both can enjoy the increased arousal and other benefits of post-ejaculation and post-orgasm oral sex.