Why Eat Creampies? That’s a Little Weird, Don’t You Think?

Sometimes I wonder if I am as weird as the “normal” public thinks I am. I enjoy sex with my wife. I should restate that. I enjoy making love to Melinda. Ok, once more. I get the utmost in sexual satisfaction in pleasuring my wife. But the only person who knows me and knows what that entails is my wife. So my weirdness is unknown to the people in my circles. I can imagine that if my friends and family could connect me to this blog, the questions that arise would be very similar to what one can find (proliferated across sex discussion sites) across the internet. Judging by the inquiries and many of the replies (to them), I could only ascertain that I am, in fact, strange…or at least what I like to do during intimacy is.

  • “Why do you eat your cum?”
  • “Isn’t that “gay” to do that?”
  • “What does she get out of you licking up your cum?”
  • “Does she like it when you lick your semen from her pussy?’
  • “What is the attraction to a pussy dripping with cum?”
  • “How do you get past the loss of desire after you experience an orgasm?”
  • “How do wives view this creampie-eating act? Are they aroused by it?”

These are a few of the questions that I and others have had and have been asked by others regarding this highly erotic sexual activity. I know that there are several more that I haven’t listed and I have no doubts that some of you will have more. If you do want to ask me anything directly, I have provided a vehicle for you to do so at the bottom of this post. I will take the time to address them directly.

So what is the big deal about a husband being interested in his cum? It is an interesting question. From (this) man’s perspective, the visual aspect has been at the very center. When I was young, there was a conflict between curiosity and objection (to contact with it).  For other men, I can suppose that there are similar issues and interests. Some of those more driven by there curiosities had no problem with the warm, creamy substance, giving into the idea to sample it. Once that barrier broke, a fair amount of those men had routine oral contact with their seed. Others might have sampled their product, not finding any reason to try again.

The visual of semen leaking back out from inside of her pussy (that one has just finished inside of) is a turn-on for most, if not all husbands. Why? Semen has a life-giving quality (the concept of which resides in the recesses of a man’s consciousness) that when left inside of a fertile woman’s vaginal canal, the possibility of conception is high (during ovulation, of course). When my wife and I were trying to conceive, I was amazed at how aroused I got when I pulled out of her and saw my semen with the understanding that my seed was truly alive with life.  Weird? Probably. But this was a step in my creampie-eating process (progress).

Eating cum. It certainly sounds unappealing when one thinks about it as boiled down to simply ingesting the fluid. But when husband and wife are so aroused to the point that their hormones are raging and they are seemingly on fire as both are fully engaged in each other’s pleasure, eating cum during sexual activity is an amazing demonstration of a husband’s love and passion for his wife. Regardless of how much foreplay and “coreplay” (as described by Ian Kerner in his book, “She Comes First: A Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman“) a husband and wife engage in, the typical intimate encounter concludes with the husband’s orgasm and ejaculation. This amounts to a “one-and-done” situation. Unfortunately for most wives, they are missing out on what could be an over-the-top sexual encounter, replete with multiple orgasms.

Multiple orgasms are not limited to the wives in these extended intimacy sessions. The erotic (and taboo) nature of slipping down to perform cunnilingus on her cum-filled pussy provides the husband with immeasurable increased stimulation always results an erection and the ability to reenter his wife. The ensuing intercourse is vastly superior (to the initial round and initial orgasmic ejaculation). For me and Melinda, an evening of this activity (PIV and oral) results in a series of climaxes that leave us overwhelmingly satisfied and thoroughly exhausted. So that’s why. Eating our cum is a means to a series of ends rather than being the end itself. I had to get past the resistance to my own semen in order to attain my abilities to provide my wife and I with this incredible pleasure.

“Doesn’t the act of eating your own semen mean that you are gay?” It is certainly a common question that gets raised in discussion forums with some regularity. When people pose this question, they seem to be focused solely upon the semen. But we can think of this from a few different angles and apply a smidgen of wisdom and logic to answer this. Most men masturbate (so do a lot of women). It is a simple fact. There are countless surveys (where men commonly admit to self-gratification) to back up that statement. The percentage of men who admit to masturbating is somewhere between 95-99% (of the survey sample). In light of that fact, we can analyze exactly what masturbation (for men) entails. During an instance of arousal, a man must place his hand on a cock and begin to massage and stroke the organ until orgasm and ejaculation. Take a moment and consider that. Is that a homosexual act? Not in the slightest. It is merely sexual self-gratification. The same is true when considering a husband providing pleasure to his wife through oral stimulation regardless of the presence of his semen.

After cumming inside of her, men often lose the drive to continue with their plan to lick the semen as it flows out of her. The visual is amazing and yet the post-ejaculation let-down is difficult to overcome.

Once a husband has decided that he wants to try performing cunnilingus on his wife after his orgasm (during PIV), more than likely, he will be faced with a diminished post-ejaculation libido  (which is very typical for most men). During intercourse, the husband’s arousal is incredibly heightened and he has his mind made up that he is going to move down and orally pleasure his wife.  However, in the waning seconds following his ejaculation, the decision is set aside as the husband gives in to the “let-down” that accompanies orgasm.  It isn’t the husband’s fault, it a normal male response due to the chemicals released within his brain, signaling that the need for intercourse (mating) has subsided (read our post, “Identifying and Understanding the Roadblocks to Continuing Intimacy“).  It seems that men are fighting chemistry and nature. In my opinion (which is  based upon my personal experience and feedback from other men), pushing past the sexual instincts requires one simple yet counter-intuitive step. Just get down there and do it!

If you are a man like me and had to overcome a revulsion toward semen, you’ll have to take a somewhat longer road to get to the point where you can simply push your face into your wife’s cream-filled and covered vulva. This process worked for me and in my estimation, it can work for anyone.

Trust us that once you make the move to do this, the pleasure will be unbelievable for both of you. What are you waiting for? Just put your mouth on her and enjoy the essence of your shared love!

Now that you made it to this point, you probably have a decent overview of this from the husband’s perspective by now. But what about what the women think? How does a wife see this? It is a great question and one that I can only address from anecdotes and personal experience (as relayed from my wife, Melinda).

Though it took some time for me to get to this point, I have learned that my wife has been wanting me to do this for quite some time. Although she didn’t consider the specific aspect of me eating my semen, she did crave having me go down on her to continue stimulating her and helping her to additional orgasms. What I learned through this is that the taboo (and socially forbidden) nature of this gives her an extremely heightened arousal because my tongue is directly immersed into her vagina that is filled with my semen. Now, when we are in the midst of intercourse, she asks me if I am going to clean up my “mess.” Without hesitation, I affirm my intentions and within milliseconds is gripped with orgasm. My own climax is subsequently triggered and I explode inside of her. Because she asks, I know that it is my wife’s desire to have me do this.

Considering all this, the pleasure that a wife and husband can experience – above and beyond the one-and-done norm – should be motivation enough for him to just plant his face into the creamy fray. Our best advice for all husbands is quite simple. JUST DO IT!  Ladies, if your husbands aren’t doing this and they have made it known (to you) that they want to do this, it is also easy. Make it plainly obvious that they need to get down there. As your husband starts cumming, tell them that they are going to go down. When you feel the last pulse of your husband’s cock, don’t let them collapse onto you. Push them down between your legs and pull their faces inward. Take control! If Melinda would have done this, I would have been eating my creampies YEARS ago.

Do you have questions or need some feedback from us? Please send them to us and we will gladly respond to you.

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The Heavenly Visual of Her Fully-Satisfied Body Sends Me

Males are visually stimulated by the opposite sex (I assert this from the standpoint of a very heterosexual male who is overcome at the site of his wife’s naked body). The very presence of a naked female is enough to send some men over the edge with premature ejaculation. What we see, we respond to. As I am a man who loves the female form – specifically, my wife’s – I can say that I am an expert on this particular aspect of the subject.

The trek from being a man who avoids contact with his own semen to one who is borderline obsessive about the idea of licking the substance from his wife’s body has been a lengthy one. The most significant push toward the act has been the visual aspect. Melinda’s body is extremely attractive (not just from my own biased perspective, but it is quite obvious as I routinely catch other men gawking at her). Her chest, though not huge, is ample and when she is clothed in tighter fitting tops, her breasts are deliciously shaped.

Though I get lost in my wife’s eyes – staring into them while I am inside of her is a trigger to exploding inside of her – her ass is utterly amazing. The teardrop shape is slightly larger than the average woman but her’s is solid from daily running and cycling. I am bowled over to get my face embedded between her delicious cheeks. All of my wife’s assets are set apart by her incredible pussy. Though she refuses to shave all of the hair from her mons, she does trim it all away from her vulva leaving it all smoothly groomed for my mouth. Her inner lips and clitoris are absolutely perfect with the soft, small folds of skin and her slight clitoral hood protecting her tasty clit – it is all picture-perfect!

For decades I have been releasing my seed inside of her. When I was younger, I possessed the stamina to remain inside of her while relaxing in post-orgasmic embrace, awaiting the extreme sensitivity to subside. After a few moments, I could start kissing her neck and breasts and the erection would return while enveloped by her vaginal walls, surrounded by my sizable load of cum. Restarting my thrusts, it wouldn’t take long to begin extracting our fluids (with each withdrawal) and frothing them up to a whipped cream-like consistency. The visual would absolutely arouse me, exciting me to another substantial orgasm with yet another sizable release of my seed. Withdrawing from her saturated pussy, I would fix my gaze upon her vaginal opening to watch with delight as our fluids drained from inside of her. I’d experience a sensation of intrigue and interest as I wondered what that tasted like. After getting lost in that thought, my old bad habit would return to overpower the sexy thought and I’d turn away, leaving the glorious mess to be cleaned up the conventional way.

This discovery was something that I couldn’t let go of. I would imagine my wife’s vulva and my seed covering the soft folds of skin. I’d picture the thin stream of cum exiting her and flowing down across her anus and onto the sheet. The glistening pearlescence was drawing me closer. I was hooked on this taboo. Was it homosexual to consider tasting my own ejaculate? After all, it really wasn’t just my cum. My wife always added a tremendous amount of her lubricants (she gets terrifically wet during sex) so the fluid was a mix. The scent of the combination of juices is even different from the fragrance of either of our fluids, individually. I thought about my wife swallowing my ejaculations and how she seemed quite pleased to take them into her mouth when she gave me oral stimulation. How could she drink me down while I would consider my product “gross?”

This is the quandary that I found myself in. How to get past the “grossness” of my semen.

When I was younger and struggling with porn, I found the entire genre to be distasteful in how women were portrayed and used. Obviously, the principle audience for the films and magazine is men (see my opening paragraphs) and the industry capitalizes on the visual appeal while massaging the male ego. The ultimate ego stroke comes when the cock, after being orally worshiped by the insatiable woman, releases a massive bucket of cum all over the torso, breasts or face of the female(s) thereby demonstrating the master/servant aspect of all heterosexual relationships (yes, this is sarcasm), But for me, it was different. I sought something deeper.

I always viewed sex and, ultimately semen as sacred (at least I did in the back of my mind). And to waste either by simply hosing down the woman with cum seemed to be dishonoring of both. Now I have never ejaculated onto my wife and the thought has since occurred to me as something to try, but it would be display of sensuality and care for my bride. I wouldn’t do it unless I intended to incorporate some sort of sensual stimulation with me licking the fluid off of her body in order to excite her to another round (we are still working on it).

Progress is slow and steady. Until our next posting, please enjoy a sexy helping of your own creampie!

Deep-seated Fantasies. How to Bring Them Into the Light to Discuss

Since Mel brought it up in her last post, Giving Him Fantasies Means that I too, Receive!, I thought that I should continue on with the notion of desires and deep-seated fantasies.

We have been married for years and have been loving each other with increasing passion from the outset of our first meeting. If we were to (foolishly) attempt to compare our intimacy from our first time to what we enjoy together today, it would be mind-blowing. If I possessed any sort of foresight to what we do in bed today, I might have been intimidated. Now, with the talk of fantasies and what we secretly desire, I most certainly would have been riddled with fear.

I have been around most of the world and seen many places (and some very strange customs, behaviors and people).  I have traveled with people who had no issues, cares or fears with engaging in the sexual proclivities and entering into acts that are what I would consider to be extremely risky. I have been to bars and nightclubs in far-off lands and seen live sex acts performed a few feet away from a very good live band. Unfortunately, I have witnessed sex acts that included unwilling animals that made my stomach turn (memories that one wished could be bleached, burned or gouged away).

Regardless of where I have traveled, I have been in situations where, if I was so inclined, could have found myself in bed night after night with beautiful women. I don’t fancy myself to be anything special or some sort of manly man who possesses anything out of the ordinary that attracts the opposite sex. No matter what the situation, being with another woman has never appealed to me. Monogamy for the sake of being monogamous isn’t the driving force behind my desire to remain dedicated to Melinda. I love her with every cell of my body and every fiber of my being and because of how I feel about her, being intimate with her (and only her) is natural and normal.

I know that during our relationship, Melinda has been as dedicated to me as I am to her. The manner in which we throw ourselves at each other – carefree and without holding back – the spiritual connection has limitless depth. We can’t seem to find a point where we stop discovering newness between us which is hard to fathom considering how long we have been together. Before I continue, let me insert into this thought that neither of us is without flaw nor fallibility. We have both screwed up and made poor choices that have impacted each other and we will continue to do so – we are human. Regardless, we continue to grow and remain open to each other’s desires, needs and even fantasies.

Fantasy. This term is considerably subjective. What it means to me could vary wildly from what it means to Melinda. What lies within the meaning is the crux of what we have been talking about as of late with our pillow-talk. It is interesting that after we conclude our love-making and we are cooling down and the sweat and love-liquids still cover our recovering bodies, the idea of fantasies come up. Our pleasure-needs and desires are sated. Our fleshly thirsts, quenched. Our hearts are filled to overflowing. Our guard is completely relaxed. We lay there, talking openly about thoughts that spring forth from deep within.

We just got through with fulfilling one of my fantasies – the mixture of my cum and her wetness still coats my face and lips and I can still taste the wonderful flavor in my mouth. Melinda gives me my fantasy almost every day. “Paul, what deeper fantasies do you have?” she asks. “I know that if we both talked and listened, there is something more that you want us to try,” Melinda asks. As we talk about what it is that we do within our intimacy, neither of us has yet to blurt it out, directly and yet I sense that we are both thinking the same thing. It is odd that two people who have been moving into the most open and honest communication that we have ever experienced, suddenly are dancing around like a high school couple who are trying to figure out how to get the other one into bed without appearing eager or easy.

Here we are, not an any real impasse or stand-off but trying to determine the way to discuss one thing that I believe we both want to talk about. Regardless of whether we take actionable steps, we both should be ready to talk about this together.  Fortunately, we have a stretch of days with the kids being away and we will be spending a lot of time together, exploring each other and giving as much pleasure as we can give to one another. We both have been looking forward to these upcoming days and it seems like the most opportune timing to let the subject naturally arise. In terms of breaking the ice, I think that I will do so by sharing a couple images with this post to spark the discussion.

I know that this is a very different concept for a loving and very closely intimate couple, but the idea is lingering within us both.

Thoughts?

She Loves My Creampie Eating as Much as I Do!

For Melinda and me, another night of amazing sex means that, at some point, my wife’s creampie gets licked clean and I am the happy and hungry recipient of my own cum. The pleasure meter is now routinely getting buried…like my face to my wife’s cum-soaked pussy…all the way.

What I am coming to realize is that Melinda has wanted me to do this for a very long time. In my previous post (see: Finally! I broke through and Cleaned the Mess I Made), I found that when I finally told Melinda (while actively engaged in intercourse) that I intended on licking my cum from her, she gasped in excitement at the thought. I had been worried that she would find the idea too disgusting (or that there was something wrong with me) at the idea of me, her husband, eating his own semen. Amazingly, the opposite was true. My wife’s arousal skyrocketed and her vaginal walls began to spasm as she pulled her legs, opening her vagina wide and deep, begging me to go as far in as I could go. My massive semen release was exciting to me as I knew that I was going to have a LOT of cum and even more pleasure.

Since that night, my wife will randomly ask me on if I really do enjoy the messy mixture of our fluids. When I respond that I am overwhelmingly turned on just thinking about it, she gasps and gets lost into her own thoughts of me lapping up every drop of cum. She bites her lower lip and relaxes her eyelids, offering a subtle, smirky smile of delight, thinking ahead to another evening of me eating her creampie.

Last night after she sucked on my cock, she wanted me to get inside of her so that I could begin thrusting and releasing my semen (via edging). Melinda was aggressively pursuing my edging ejaculations in order to get her pussy sloppy with cum, looking ahead to me licking her pussy while lapping up our frothy mixture of her wetness and my cum.

Again, she asks me about my desires for our love juices and I can see her body responds which tells me she is incredibly turned on by the thought. Her orgasm while I was licking her pussy last night was, as she said, the most one of the most enjoyably massive one she’s ever experienced. When I reentered her, she couldn’t stop having successive orgasms…something that is a rare occurrence for her. Clearly the mental and physical stimulation was at an all-new high, fueled by my creampie eating and, what I suspect, has been the fulfillment of one of her secret fantasies. But what gets us both overcharged is when I kiss her with my lips and tongue coated with our fluids, the flavor is unmistakable and we both are propelled to continue.

 

Blowing Past the Roadblocks and Extending Intimacy (Part II)

Male physiological response to orgasm and ejaculation is, for the most part, carved into stone. However, there are ways to push beyond the physical limitations but, like wheeling a large ship, the rudders take time to respond to the helm commands.

In Part I of this topic, I covered a handful of the roadblocks that couples (husbands in particular) encounter, preventing them from reaching beyond the gravitational bonds of routine and vanilla intimacy. As one of my friends suggests, the “one and done” mindset (meaning, a single orgasm for one or both spouses) during intimacy can become the norm for far too many marriages without any awareness or realizations that they have become mired in a sexual rut. Like Burt Reynolds’ character (Bandit) in the film, Smokey and the Bandit, I have been bursting through those roadblocks like a 1978 Trans Am running from Sheriff Buford T. Justice.

My hope is that what I am covering today in Part II will provide you with the motivation, excitement and high octane fuel for my readers to blow through each barricade with the accelerator pedal pushed to the floor and through it. I only ask of my readers that they take into consideration that what worked (and is working) for me, may not bring you the same success or, if it does, not in the same timing. The two-most important tools to breaking through are patience and communication.

Overcoming body chemistry limitations
Male physiological response to orgasm and ejaculation is, for the most part, carved into stone. However, there are ways to push beyond the physical limitations but, like wheeling a large ship, the rudders take time to respond to the helm commands. We have to lighten the load, so to speak, in order to make the vessel more responsive. We can’t be dragging an anchor in the water or have a tow-line attached to a ore-laden barge while trying to maneuver as a speedy, nimble frigate.

Stowe the Anchor
What are you dragging that you could retract? Some of us men have challenges with our semen.  In my experience, I had a semen avoidance problem. Though, in my fantasies, I wanted to perform oral on my wife after I ejaculated inside of her, I couldn’t get passed being squeamish around my ejaculate. I had to slowly walk myself through this process. Having made the decision to eat my creampies, first, I masturbated to the point where my penis began emitting precum. From there, I had to start sampling this liquid in order to get an idea of what my cum tasted like. After several sessions (over the course of a few months off and on), I was masturbating to full ejaculation (and orgasm) into my hand and sampling from the large deposit. It still took some time before I could take the entire load into my mouth.

(Note: Squeamish folks may want to skip past this paragraph.) In order to take all of my ejaculate, I thought that it would be easier if I could take it straight from the tap. Being fairly flexible and athletic, one day, I began working my penis and the thought occurred to me that I could contort my body to get the head of my penis close to my mouth when I got close to the point of orgasm. When I felt the pressure rise, I opened my mouth and fired away. Most of my load (at least a tablespoon+) shot and drizzled into my mouth while some deposited onto my chin. I swirled (what was then, the largest amount of my cum that I have had in my mouth) the sweet and salty, warm substance around to get a good idea of it and then swallowed it down. I now knew full well what my wife had been enjoying (yes, she tells me that she loves my product) for years. That roadblock is firmly and resoundingly smashed. Having broken through, I no longer masturbate to eat my semen as I have progressed.

Crank up the Engines for Increased Maneuverability
I am as stubborn as they come and when it comes to breaking through these obstacles, I move slowly. If you understand basic seamanship, you know that adding speed along with rudder changes makes the vessel respond quickly and much more nimble. Not happy with my successive failures in achieving my creampie eating objectives, I determined that I might have better success if I could fill my wife with semen without experiencing full orgasmic ejaculations. During sexual stimulation and arousal, men experience small releases of seminal fluids that serve to lubricate the vagina. In layman’s terms, this is known as precum. However, this dribble of fluid would hardly serve to saturate my wife’s vagina to the point where I’d be happy having eaten a creampie. No, I had to take a different approach.

Throughout our sexual relationship, I have gained awareness of the pressure buildup that is the precursor to orgasm. In many intercourse sessions, in my attempts to prolong the enjoyment for both my wife and me, as I felt the impending point of no return, I could stop thrusting to avoid orgasm. In doing so, I would release an amount of ejaculate that was quite similar to what I achieved when releasing a full orgasm. Recommencing thrusting, I could feel the obvious flood of semen that was now present inside my wife. This process is what I term as “edging.” Armed with this knowledge, I thought that rather than try to wait until after I had an orgasm, I could spend some time having penis-in-vagina (PIV) intercourse, ejaculate into my wife via edging, then move down for some delightfully sloppy cunnilingus.  After a few times of edging and subsequent pie-eating, the mental block begins to decay.

My Sails are Unfurled, But the Air is Calm There is nothing quite like dead air when your ship is trying to make way. You have no power to move and obviously, there is no power to change your course. You’re stuck, dead in the water (DIW). In my previous two methods of breaking through the roadblocks, I have addressed to proven methods to overcome some specific challenges that are rooted more in the mental arena. This method is used to overcome a physical challenge that can arise when attempting to use the edging technique.

In the midst of PIV intercourse, you sense the rise of pressure as you are heading to eminent orgasm. As you become aware, of the impending moment, you decide that you want to shut off the orgasm before you reach the PONR only to find that you are physically incapable of doing so successfully. Suddenly, your penis is throbbing as spurt after spurt of semen is flinging amazingly into your wife’s vagina. The inevitable happens again as your loss of desire in eating her creampie rears up once again. Dead in the water.

This happened to me on so many occasions that I’d be better served counting the hairs on my thickly-covered scalp than to tally the numbers of failed attempts to control my ejaculations. I read some information about premature ejaculation and incontinence (not that I suffer from either of these very devastating conditions) while keying in on the idea that one can shut off the flow of ejaculation. Kegel exercises can help with many aspects of male (and female) sex organ health. For me, they have helped me to gain absolute control over my ejaculatory response.

I have an app on my Android phone that helps me keep on track with my exercises. I am prompted to work out my PC muscle 3-4 times a day, adhering to the strict repetitions and intervals of each set. The results are downright amazing. In just a few days of exercising, I could shut down the orgasm while my ejaculations occurred. Today, I can edge 3-4 times (each edge produces 3-5 spurts of semen) which leaves a considerable amount of fluids inside my wife.

All Engines Ahead Full!  Communication is imperative in navigating a ship. The coordination of information between the navigation plotters, the folks shooting visual bearings, the ship’s conning officer and the helmsman is a delicate, yet deliberate dance of oral interaction and actions. Without the direct flow of information, chaos ensues and the ship can stand into danger.

The same principle applies in the bedroom. The single most effective method in overcoming barriers in this creampie quest that propelled me the furthest and fastest was communication. When I finally realized that my bride who loved me and honored me as her husband would harbor no ill thoughts toward me when I told her about my desires. Once I fully understood that my deepest, most erotic thoughts were safe with her (and hers with me), I knew that we would be able to enjoy so much more during our sexual intimacy.

I told Melinda initially (about my desire to lick her cum-soaked vulva) while I was in the midst of thrusting during intercourse. Her immediate escalation of arousal was an obvious sexual response, but it wasn’t in the realm of her consciousness yet. I had to do that during an authentically open dialog in the proper context (she can’t talk about sex unless she’s already thinking about it). At first, her reaction was lacking enthusiasm, however the more she considered it, the more she liked the idea. Since then, she is very encouraging and prepares us both for my creampie eating session.

There are certainly other methods that folks have employed in overcoming these barriers. While those I described are what I used, there are, perhaps others that some of you want to share. I also know that there are women out there who desire for their husbands to do this, but as of yet, haven’t bothered to propose it to them due to a myriad of concerns that could result in rejection.

If you have taken the lead in overcoming any roadblocks in the pursuit of creampie eating (either as a giver or recipient), we would love to hear what has worked for you!

Identifying and Understanding the Roadblocks to Continuing Intimacy (Part I)

For me, the communication barrier is the fear of rejection. My fantasies all involve my wife (meaning I don’t have any thoughts of including others), no public sex, etc. My fantasies aren’t exactly mild, either. But, I don’t easily tell them to my wife. I know that if I have unmentioned fantasies, my wife has some as well.

As one who wanted to gain some insight from husbands who had experienced success in overcoming the post-intercourse orgasm loss of interest and the physiological-mental mandated cessation of intimate activities, I turned to the internet to see what other husbands have dealt with. Sadly, the web is rife with (big shock) pornography and scant few helpful guidance regarding how to actually launch into one’s’ spouse’s semen-saturated vulva.

Wading through the muck, I did find some nuggets of information that are seemingly based in scientific fact. For many men, we have some amazingly well thought out plans for continuing intimacy beyond our orgasm. We imagine out pleased our spouses will be when we can pull out after releasing and commence with another round of cunnilingus. The thought of diving into a pool of our love juices, dominated by our semen, is highly arousing (to many of us) with the desire to bring our lover to another orgasm is highly erotic. For me, the re-hashing my plan as I am thrusting inside of my wife has been such a huge turn-on, that I lose all control and orgasm arrives considerably faster than I had anticipated. The emotional let-down, combined with the post-orgasm interest loss only means that another plan has been laid to waste.

Working against chemistry
I have pondered this (as have many unsatisfied wives, I am certain) for years. Why can’t I just get passed this reflexive response? One doctor asserts that mens’ body chemistry actually changes in the moments following orgasm. Dr. Billy Goldberg (co-author of Why Do Men Fall Asleep After Sex?) asserts, “the biochemical prolactin is released, physically altering his body and making him very tired.” As we are all unique and our bodies respond to stimuli and chemistry differently, some men are, more than likely, less affected by the flood of oxytocin, prolactin, gamma amino butyric acid. This release can affect both the level of sexual interest and arousal as well as the ability to stay erect and awake.

Challenged by temporary increased (near-painful) sensitivity
I suppose that for some, the ability to continue on after a full orgasmic ejaculation is easier than it is for others and there are plenty of anecdotes swirling around the internet that seem, to suggest that. Unfortunately for me, I am firmly in the camp where I really have to force myself and work to continue on, fighting the hypersensitivity that my penis experiences, post-orgasm (some of you men are familiar with the “please stop” requests we make to our wives). For a subset of this group, continued stimulation can be downright painful.

I have read other anecdotes that seem to suggest that with age, this post-orgasm hurdle diminishes somewhat as the penis loses some sensitivity. I can confirm that I have been able to continue onward, more so in the recent years as opposed to in my youth.

Culturally stigmatized
Rtumblr_o32zlwvnZH1v03usjo1_500egardless of the community (secular, faith-based) there are many who are seated firmly within certain camps who view any sort of semen ingestion negatively (regardless if the person tasting the fluid is male or female). Still others look down solely upon a man in disgust when the idea of him taking in his own semen is mentioned. It is also very common for both husband and wife to pursue post-coital clean-up via a shower or a quick wipe down with a towel or tissue (though tissue can make the mess worse…don’t go this route) and discard the liquid product of their lovemaking. Some folks (on various sex discussion forums infer that a man consuming his semen from his wife’s vagina is a homosexual act (which hardly makes sense when husband and wife clearly constitutes a heterosexual couple – for my definition, anyway).

Perhaps the biggest stigma isn’t a spoken or demonstrated one at all. Perhaps the male spouse has inserted his own roadblock (to licking his semen from his wife), imagining his wife’s negative reaction as he moves down to perform cunnilingus on her semen-saturated vulva?

Too little time, too darned tired
In my marriage, both my wife and I have gotten caught in a trap of staying up way too late. After we get the kids to bed, we have a very short window of time for just the two of us to talk an interact as adults. Our kids lead a very active lifestyle as do my wife and I, and so the time for sexual intimacy gets squeezed and encroached upon. I get up well before the sun rises for my job, so simply staying up later for sex, though I am fine with the sex-for-sleep trade, my wife isn’t. On the nights when she still wants to have a little something, it is a quickie or wait for another night.

If I had a dollar for every night that this fragile window of time was shattered by a late night phone call, a kid who chose not to sleep, or a lengthy discussion was started, I would be an extremely wealthy man. If I had all of that money, I would trade it in an instant to have all of those nights of intimacy restored to us.

How do we overcome these roadblocks?
Regardless of the barriers and inhibitions that arise for the man who, with every intention before and during intimacy, has laid plans that this moment is going to be THE moment, fails yet again to carry out the act. The repeated disappointment routine can be maddening and very discouraging while injecting serious difficulties into the marriage bed as the husband never experiences success and is too inhibited to talk about it. This is a very serious concern for marriages. The bottom line in this is that we need to be bold in our marriages. We love and trust each other with so many other aspects of our lives. We are sharing our bodies with each other when we engage in sexual activities. How is it that we don’t share our desires and fantasies with each other? We don’t communicate. Why?

For me, the communication barrier is the fear of rejection. My fantasies all involve my wife (meaning I don’t have any thoughts of including others), no public sex, etc. My fantasies aren’t exactly mild, either. But, I don’t easily tell them to my wife. I know that if I have unmentioned fantasies, my wife has some as well.

Continue to Part II
This is part one of a multi-part series with the goal in mind to de-stigmatize the sharing of sexual fluids between partners. Men and and women both can enjoy the increased arousal and other benefits of post-ejaculation and post-orgasm oral sex.