Finally! I broke through and Cleaned the Mess I Made

The evening was one of decadence. I veritable sensual assault on my palate and my libido. Melinda’s orgasmic release was only heightened by my whisperings, telling her of my plans only to be further escalated when tongue met saturated vulva and the seminal-vaginal fluid mixture was consumed, lick by gentle lick.

Authors’ note: This article was written in the context of Paul’s journey to break through the barrier of inhibition about eating his creampies with his wife. We will be sharing several more articles that address many of the obstacles that we both had to overcome to attain the sexual freedom we now enjoy.

After so many nights (days, weeks, months…er…years) of sexual activities, last night was THE breakthrough that I’ve awaited with much anticipation. Utterly amazing what overcoming a barrier like this has done for lighting up our bed! I am so encouraged that I will now be able to incorporate post-(orgasm) ejaculation cunnilingus into our sexual encounters and activities on a recurring, if not regular basis!

The evening began like many others – a shower and the warm-up kissing and mutual caressing. Melinda noted the small, battery powered bullet and wondered why it was out being as her favorite toy is her Lelo Sorya due to the overwhelming orgasms she achieves from brief stimulation. When I told her that it was for use on me during fellatio, she was quietly excited at the idea of something spicy to do for me.

When she was ready to move down to me, she grabbed my cock and began stroking the shaft and caressing my boys. Her lips met the head and she began to lick around, moving down to the underside of the glans and corona. Switching on the bullet, she immediately began to apply vibration to the base of the shaft whilst sucking and licking the head. The tingles from the pulsation traveled to the shaft and to my perineum muscles and prostate. The sensation was, to say the least, fabulous!

After a few orgasmic near misses (I got very close to ejaculation), Melinda pulled off, laid back and I moved in for some stroking – my goal to edge a number of times in order to fill her with semen prior to licking her. As I entered, I noticed an unusual increase in arousal and sensitivity in both of us – most likely due to the addition of the vibrator. Melinda’s labia and clitoral shaft were enlarged more than normal without a stroke of stimulation. My sensitivity had me at the point of no return after one or two strokes.

With some careful maneuvering and positioning, I was able to commence in long-term thrusting, trying desperately to push my penis head to the spongy “G-spot” area of the inside of her pussy. Within 5-6 minutes, I felt the prostate pressure mounting and I shortened my strokes to get my orgasm to the edge slowly to prevent myself from going over. As I felt the ejaculation urge arise, I clamped down on the PC-muscle stopping the orgasm while releasing a full pulsations of semen. The beauty of employing the edging technique (provided one is diligent with Kegel exercises and has a strong PC-muscle) is that extending penis-in-vagina activities to be prolonged while her pussy gets increasingly lubricated with the accumulating semen.

Following the third edged-release of my semen, I spied my cock as I withdrew from Melinda’s sloppy pussy to see that it had the appearance of a glistening freshly glazed, elongated doughnut. I looked at my wife’s vaginal opening in time to see a large glob of pearlescent liquid beginning to breech her labia. Extremely aroused and excited, I leaned down thrusting my tongue into the warm cum and scooped out a what seemed like a mouthful. The rich thickness of our cum was overwhelming. I could taste the combination of our flavours swirled together into a concoction of sexy nectar. I continued to extract as much as I could reach with my tongue, stopping only to insert my index finger to scoop out what was beyond the tip of my tongue.

I dragged residue out and upward as I coated Melinda’s labia and clitoral hood with our love juices. I was sensing the tingling sensation on my tongue and in my mouth so I was certain that her vulvar region was similarly stimulated. I began to work on teasing her lips and frenulum while hinting at contact with her clitoris. I continued to work for a time, escalating her arousal as I increased my tongue strokes. She experienced a few small arousal peaks as I worked. Melinda’s excitement was climbing and she begged for the Sorya.

Wanting to oblige her, I reached for the pink wonder and eased in. With a few strokes, Melinda heaved her hips back, begging me to turn it on as she invited a deeper thrust. With a press of the button, the friendly hum engaged and she settled into the sensation. I continued to lick and tease her clit as I worked the toy. Within a few minutes, her body clenched as she tightened for a massive orgasm. Her scream of delight was so loud, I knew the children had to be awakened. With the warm spring evening and the windows open, every neighbor on our street HAD to know that she was hitting the high of orgasmic highs. I have come to enjoy her climaxes more than my own as her signals are so excitingly sexy!

Melinda, not wanting to come down too far after I shut down her Sorya, begged me to get inside of her. As a husband seeking every opportunity to please her, I rapidly obeyed and entered for another session of intercourse. Moments into thrusting, I began to think of how I wanted to broach the subject of eating her creampie. I began to tell her how much I enjoy the sloppy liquids that we create. I began to tell her how sexy the mess is. Melinda’s responses were so electrifying as she spread her legs wide and pulled them back, allowing me to go as deep as I wanted. Her breathing began to get very rapid as she affirmed how sexy she thought it was. I told her that I was going to taste our juices after I came…and she lost all control.

Melinda began to orgasm again (which seldom occurs during intercourse). She said that it was incredibly sexy that I was going to do that. My wife was so heated and so turned on at the thought of me lapping up my semen and her juices…the massive flow…that she just let loose. I couldn’t help but let go of all control. No more edging. No more holding back. I let go of such a wonderfully massive orgasm as my cock began to throb sending pulse after pulse of liquid rushing into her beautiful pussy.

After 8-9 squirts, I quickly withdrew and headed down. The look in her eyes of innocence and allure as she watched me head down once again, this time without a doubt as to the mess at hand. She and I were out of our minds with excitement as I lapped up every drop of liquid that I could get my tongue on. I continued to work her after cleaning all of the visible and reachable cum that I could find. After all was said and done, Melinda headed to the bathroom for her usual post-ejaculation cleanup only to find that there was NOTHING left. I had taken it all in. Her delighted smile was all I needed to see to confirm that we had broken through. This was the milestone that I have been working for the last year to achieve.

The evening was one of decadence. I veritable sensual assault on my palate and my libido. Melinda’s orgasmic release was only heightened by my whisperings, telling her of my plans only to be further escalated when tongue met saturated vulva and the seminal-vaginal fluid mixture was consumed, lick by gentle lick.

Creampie-Eating: A Woman’s Perspective

What is it about creampie eating that makes some males so excited? Is it the thought that this is truly eating the forbidden fruit: or is it the strong desire to please our ladies? Either way, some men want to eat creampie prior to cumming but most shy away after. This article is about the joy women receive from creampie licking and how to teach your man to get over the creampie blues. Most couples report that their relationship and love making rocket to the next level once the creampie blues are understood and overcome.

Sometimes, a writer must concede that he or she is not the authority on a topic or in this case, the perspective of a segment of the population of which he or she is not a member. In trying to convey the female perspective on husbands performing cunnilingus on their wives following (penis-in-vagina, or PIV) sex and subsequent ejaculation, I found this attributable article that conveys the message that I have been attempting to deliver to you. While I found the article on the Love Talk Forum (LTF) enlightening, the poster didn’t reveal their source. After several days of searching, I was unable to locate the source of this wonderful message.

I did take some liberty to make minor grammatical and punctuation changes along with some softening of the terms and verbiage to make the post more congruent with the rest of the The Essence of Making Love blog content. I have provided a link to the source (on the LTF) to give access to those of you who prefer the raw, unfiltered text.

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Source: Love Talk Forum (disbanded)
Thread title: Oral sex after sex. I’ve been getting these questions about creampies
Original Author: Unknown
Date Posted: 5 October 2010

What is it about creampie eating that makes some males so excited? Is it the thought that this is truly eating the forbidden fruit: or is it the strong desire to please our ladies? Either way, some men want to eat creampie prior to cumming but most shy away after. This article is about the joy women receive from creampie licking and how to teach your man to get over the creampie blues. Most couples report that their relationship and love making rocket to the next level once the creampie blues are understood and overcome.

The vast majority (99.9%) of men, an orgasm is immediately followed by, for lack of a better term, the Post-Orgasm Blues (POB). POB is a very legitimate feeling. It is the feeling you get after orgasm that just makes you want to curl up in a ball and go to sleep, turn the game back on or do anything except think about sex.  You cum and immediately you lose interest in sex for a little while. There’s no escaping it. POB is a physiological response caused by cascading hormones in your brain. You have little to no control over (without training and encouragement).

The orgasmic cycle and POB physiological response is described (source):

An orgasm (sexual climax) is the conclusion of the plateau phase of the sexual response cycle and may be experienced by both males and females. Orgasm is characterized by intense physical pleasure, controlled by the involuntary, or autonomic, nervous system. It is accompanied by quick cycles of muscle contraction in the lower pelvic muscles, which surround the primary sexual organs and the anus. Orgasms are often associated with other involuntary actions, including muscular spasms in other areas of the body, a general euphoric sensation, and frequently, vocalizations. 

Post orgasm is often experienced as relaxing, which is attributed to the release of prolactin. Male and female brains demonstrate similar changes during orgasm, with brain scans showing a temporary reduction in the activity of large parts of the cerebral cortex. Sexual drive is greatly reduced after orgasm. 

Prolactin (PRL) or Luteotropic hormone (LTH) is a peptide hormone primarily associated with lactation. In breastfeeding, the act of an infant suckling the nipple stimulates the production of prolactin, which fills the breast with milk via a process called lactogenesis, in preparation for the next feed. Oxytocin, another hormone, is also released, which triggers milk let-down. 

In the heat of passion he think he wants to clean out your vagina, but it’s easier said than done because POB can be pretty powerful. Biology trumps desire almost every time.

And let’s forget about the homophobic angle here while we’re on the subject of creampies, shall we? Since when is cunnilingus a homosexual activity (well, unless you’re a lesbian–but that’s another post). I’m not saying that creampies aren’t out there on the fringe – but there’s certainly nothing homosexual about them. Eating a creampie might make him kinky, submissive, or even a little humiliated but it doesn’t make him gay. It makes him a better lover.

So…is it possible to train your man to defeat POB and eat creampie? That’s a good question. You and your partner will be happy to hear the answer is a definite YES. The effects of POB can be overcome. Your brain can be taught to do anything it naturally says “no” to. It takes practice, encouragement, understanding and the most important thing, desire. Not all men have the desire, but if you are with a man who has a desire to eat creampie then you owe it to yourself and him to overcome the POB’s because your sex life and that of your partner will be greatly improved. Consider yourselves one of the lucky ones. Creampie eating is one of the closest, trusting experiences any couple can do. Once he overcome the blues you will want to make it part of your lovemaking routine. Most women say they wished there men had confided in them years ago.

Here are a few proven ways for beating the post-orgasm blues. Most females take to these suggestions quickly and normally report that they take an active role in being the initiators in sex. A female’s sex drive is much higher than that of a male so your frequency will increase dramatically. After all, practice makes perfect. Also, most women report enjoying the feeling of control they are have over their partners. Because of this, creampie-eating will become a constant part of your sexual repertoire.

  • Just do it. This sounds simple, but caving in to POB really is largely mental. If someone rang a fire alarm right after he came, he could muster the energy to get out alive and maybe even spare some energy to put on clothes. He is not in coma, so snap him out of it and have him clean you. You know he has a strong desire and now it’s your turn to cum.
  • Consider creampie eating part of lovemaking, the middle part. Part of the problem for him is an orgasm is a nice stopping place, like a period to a sentence. If you considered it a comma, you would just go on. If he is able to make you cum first, you always had to keep your sexual drive high enough to let him do his deed. Now is the time to change that. When he cums, its your turn, have him slide down as if you are ready for the next phase in a continuous lovemaking medley and you are not done yet.With this attitude, you can keep going all night. Ladies – here is where you can truly take an active part in coaching your man. Men who have a desire to eat creampie, already love cunnilingus. Take charge and have him lick your vulva. Get hot and get wet but do not let your orgasm come. Have the discipline to stop him and tell him to enter you and thrust inside of you hard and deep. After he releases insist that it is your turn and push him south. Not only do you get to enjoy and orgasm (or two), but you will be squeaky clean.
  • Change up the times of that you make love. If you always have intimacy at night, he (and you) will already be tired before you begin. The POB just adds to his exhaustion and he drop happily into sleep. Why not try a “nooner” or a “wake-me-up?” His energy level will still be high and he will have a better chance of defeating the dreaded POB.
  • Why not take a rest? Who says that ten seconds after his last ejaculation spurt that he needs to be heading south? Spend a minute, two minutes, ten or fifteen — whatever it takes! — then slide down. OK, so you will have drained a little but that’s ok. Collect any leakage and place it on your clitoris. You don’t want to make a mess and you sure don’t want him to miss any of his treat. This also allows for more excitement for you. Make him lick your fingers clean while he is taking a rest. I also suggest that you shave. It makes cleaning up  your vulva easier and (most) men love the “clean” look. Besides, trying to lick clean matted pubic hair is almost impossible.Talk it over with him. This desire has been around for years. He has confided with you a very personal wish. Let him know your feelings and you love the idea of him licking you clean. That alone can resolve emotional issues such as embarrassment that masquerade as POB. Tease him by telling him “your going to lick me clean tonight”. This will keep both of your sexual excitement high. Take him by the hand and say, “time for your creampie” and lead him off to the bedroom when he least expects it. No more just watching TV all night. Also give him encouragement, which can be helpful. Tell him you’re going to sit on his face afterward. When he is down there licking you clean, talk to him:“That’s it honey, lick me clean!”
    “Isn’t this what you wanted?”
    “It feels great!”
  • Give it a practice run. Have him thrust inside you for a little while and then lick you a little. Thrust some more, lick some more. Keep it up, and after he cums, it is just another part of the cycle.
  • Ladies – treat this like basketball tryouts; that something this good is worth fighting for! Make him earn a position on the bench. Be his coach. Coaching is about verbal instructions, lots of reinforced behavior change, being tough, caring, aiming for perfection and practice, practice, practice. If you feel semen running down the crack of your bottom, tell him that he is missing some and make sure he licks it up. I suggest in the early stages of overcoming his POB, make him clean you out as often as you can. When I was training my husband he ate me out 2 times/day. Once in the morning and sometime during the day. That lasted a week. After that, we settled into a regular pattern and because of that, he became a pro. But even professionals need practice. I still surprise him when he least expects it. Such as 20 minutes before we need to leave for his mother’s house for dinner. But spontaneity and surprises are fun.
  • Last but definitely not least, collect and save his semen from the night before. Have him collect it in a glass and kept it fresh in the fridge. The next night, prior to heading to bed poured it all over your vulva. When he goes down (prior to POD), he is greeted with day old creampie. It is a fantastic training method, but once you are trained, semen (like bread) is much better when freshly made than day old.

Ladies treat your man’s desire as a gift. You have an opportunity to take control in your sexual activities. There are women in this world who have never experienced an orgasm. You are blessed with a man who has a unique desire that needs to be embraced and developed. Having a man lick your vulva is one thing, but teaching him to love eating creampie, gives you a very special position of authority in love making. Generally, you are in control. You are the last one to cum and you no longer leak all over the place. Enjoy your new found role in love-making. Good luck and don’t take “no” for an answer. In no time flat your lover will be enjoying himself and, rest assured that you both will be.

If your lover finds this desire of yours to be a turn on or even just as tolerable, you (both) are in for a radical change. You will be fulfilling your desire more than you ever dreamed. Most couples report a ten-fold increase in their love-making because she loves her new role in the bedroom and feels there is a lot of catching up to do.

 

Letting Go of Ourselves and Pressing Into Our Relationship and Intimacy

Love Making

Have you ever had one of those conversations with your spouse, partner or lover about what the depth of your love could enable you to achieve? Have you given thought to what sorts of feats you would accomplish to demonstrate the love you have for the other? Have you considered what barriers or obstacles that you could blow through in order to span a measure of the distance to demonstrate to him or her what extent you are willing to travel for them?

Obviously, with a blog title of The Essence of Love-Making and the subject matter that lies within, there is one very erotic action that would be raised as one of the questions that I referred to in the previous paragraph (more on this particular question later). What are the barriers that preclude us from demonstrating absolute comfort with our partner? Melinda and I considered that we could make this more specific…does your love compel you to do things that you would ordinarily view as being “gross?”

I find myself increasingly laying down what was once uncomfortable (or, gross, if that term works better for you) in favor of wanting to not let my own inhibitions stand in the way of my affection.  Let me list a few of examples below along with how I now (or desire) to respond.

  1. Deep, passionate kisses first thing in the morning (forsaking morning breath). If we both have morning breath, why does it matter? Kiss away! Kiss freely!!
  2. Full contact, bodies pressed together, hugs when she is sweaty from a workout. Unless I am wearing a suit and preparing to head out for some other special occasion, I will hug her. If she is finishing an athletic event (running race, triathlon, etc.), you had better believe that I am going to hug her in celebration! The question is, does (or will) she hug me?
  3. Making love after a full day (i.e., not showering before intimacy). I know that some couples (especially depending upon what sort of work either does) will absolutely avoid physical contact until after their bodies are clean. Unless I have been out camping for three days, I have no problem with getting our bodies together for passionate sex without a shower. If we both are days without a shower, it truly doesn’t matter.
  4. Oral sex without an immediately prior shower. (see #3). I do enjoy her fragrance and I have no issues with being “down there,” especially if the intimacy is spontaneous and uncontrollable. My natural inclination is to head south no matter what and give her all the pleasure that she desires and can handle.
  5. Kissing after oral sex. For me, this is an absolute no hesitation move. If she goes down on me and takes me to completion, not only would I not resist her kiss, but I need her to kiss me! The same is true for the roles to be reversed. After I pleasure her, I am going to kiss her deeply. Our love fluids are no longer a roadblock for me – instead, they are an on-ramp to the next intimacy freeway!
  6. Wake-up sex following a previous evening of sex. This isn’t a consideration for me. Of course I am ready for sex first thing in the morning. I do like the messy nature of it all and to be with her through all of that is heavenly!
  7. Wake-up oral sex. By now, these situations seem silly. Why would I not go down? I want to wake her up with oral!!
  8. Oral sex following penetrative (i.e. intercourse). Again, this is ridiculous considering the nature of my blog and what I absolutely enjoy doing. It went from a goal to something that is a facet of making love. A means to take intimacy to new levels.
  9. Wake-up oral sex after a prior evening of sex. This is something that I have never tried nor experienced. The idea is sexy yet there needs to be a measure of intimate trust that will allow for me to do this. Does she trust me with her body? Would she let herself be vulnerable to my oral desires? I want to experiment with this one day.

There are other, less physically sexual, yet no less sensual expressions that come to mind. Sharing food from the same utensil? How about the ultimate in food sharing…biting from the same apple (a la Adam and Eve)? What comes to your mind? What do you see yourself doing or wanting your other half to do?

#NSFW Love Liquid: Increasing the Excitement

Warning: This post contains graphic content (including imagery) and should not be viewed unless you are 18 years of age or older. Though the content is interspersed with both clinical and more conventional (i.e. bedroom) terminology, I try to keep the language as neutral as possible.

This was written to encourage couples to reach beyond the realm of complacent sexual intimacy. Spicing up the relationship doesn’t mean that couples look outside their relationship, instead choosing to deepen their love and expressiveness and transforming from the realm of simply receiving. Giving IS receiving and this activity is one that I have enjoyed with my wife.

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What is it about creampie eating that makes some males so excited? Is it the thought that this is truly eating the forbidden fruit: or is it the strong desire to please our ladies? Either way, some men want to eat creampie prior to cumming but most shy away after. This article is about the joy women receive from creampie licking and how to teach your man to get over the creampie blues. Most couples report that their relationship and love making rocket to the next level once the creampie blues are understood and overcome.

The vast majority (99.9%) of men, an orgasm is immediately followed by, for lack of a better term, the Post-Orgasm Blues (POB). POB is a very legitimate feeling. It is the feeling you get after orgasm that just makes you want to curl up in a ball and go to sleep, turn the game back on or do anything except think about sex. You cum and immediately you lose interest in sex for a little while. There’s no escaping it. POB is a physiological response caused by cascading hormones in your brain. You have little to no control over (without training and encouragement).

The orgasmic cycle and POB physiological response is described (source):

An orgasm (sexual climax) is the conclusion of the plateau phase of the sexual response cycle and may be experienced by both males and females. Orgasm is characterized by intense physical pleasure, controlled by the involuntary, or autonomic, nervous system. It is accompanied by quick cycles of muscle contraction in the lower pelvic muscles, which surround the primary sexual organs and the anus. Orgasms are often associated with other involuntary actions, including muscular spasms in other areas of the body, a general euphoric sensation, and frequently, vocalizations.

Post orgasm is often experienced as relaxing, which is attributed to the release of prolactin. Male and female brains demonstrate similar changes during orgasm, with brain scans showing a temporary reduction in the activity of large parts of the cerebral cortex. Sexual drive is greatly reduced after orgasm.

Prolactin (PRL) or Luteotropic hormone (LTH) is a peptide hormone primarily associated with lactation. In breastfeeding, the act of an infant suckling the nipple stimulates the production of prolactin, which fills the breast with milk via a process called lactogenesis, in preparation for the next feed. Oxytocin, another hormone, is also released, which triggers milk let-down.

Both partners have nothing but excitement and arousal to gain from sharing in this sensual and very intimate act. Cum play for him and more cunnilingus for her!

In the heat of passion he think he wants to clean out your vagina, but it’s easier said than done because POB can be pretty powerful. Biology trumps desire almost every time.

And let’s forget about the homophobic angle here while we’re on the subject of creampies, shall we? Since when is cunnilingus a homosexual activity (well, unless you’re a lesbian–but that’s another post). I’m not saying that creampies aren’t out there on the fringe – but there’s certainly nothing homosexual about them. Eating a creampie might make him kinky, submissive, or even a little humiliated but it doesn’t make him gay. It makes him a better lover.

So…is it possible to train your man to defeat POB and eat creampie? That’s a good question. You and your partner will be happy to hear the answer is a definite YES. The effects of POB can be overcome. Your brain can be taught to do anything it naturally says “no” to. It takes practice, encouragement, understanding and the most important thing, desire. Not all men have the desire, but if you are with a man who has a desire to eat creampie then you owe it to yourself and him to overcome the POB’s because your sex life and that of your partner will be greatly improved. Consider yourselves one of the lucky ones. Creampie eating is one of the closest, trusting experiences any couple can do. Once he overcome the blues you will want to make it part of your lovemaking routine. Most women say they wished there men had confided in them years ago.

Here are a few proven ways for beating the post-orgasm blues. Most females take to these suggestions quickly and normally report that they take an active role in being the initiators in sex. A female’s sex drive is much higher than that of a male so your frequency will increase dramatically. After all, practice makes perfect. Also, most women report enjoying the feeling of control they are have over their partners. Because of this, creampie-eating will become a constant part of your sexual repertoire.

Just do it. This sounds simple, but caving in to POB really is largely mental. If someone rang a fire alarm right after he came, he could muster the energy to get out alive and maybe even spare some energy to put on clothes. He is not in coma, so snap him out of it and have him clean you. You know he has a strong desire and now it’s your turn to cum.

After you both enjoy orgasms, when he goes back down on her extremely sensitive vulva and clitoris, the results will most certainly be nothing short of spectacular.

Consider creampie eating part of lovemaking, the middle part. Part of the problem for him is an orgasm is a nice stopping place, like a period to a sentence. If you considered it a comma, you would just go on. If he is able to make you cum first, you always had to keep your sexual drive high enough to let him do his deed. Now is the time to change that. When he cums, its your turn, have him slide down as if you are ready for the next phase in a continuous lovemaking medley and you are not done yet.With this attitude, you can keep going all night. Ladies – here is where you can truly take an active part in coaching your man. Men who have a cum-play desire to eat creampie, already love cunnilingus. Take charge and have him lick your vulva. Get hot and get wet but do not let your orgasm come. Have the discipline to stop him and tell him to enter you and thrust inside of you hard and deep. After he releases insist that it is your turn and push him south. Not only do you get to enjoy and orgasm (or two), but you will be squeaky clean.

Change up the times of that you make love. If you always have intimacy at night, he (and you) will already be tired before you begin. The POB just adds to his exhaustion and he drop happily into sleep. Why not try a “nooner” or a “wake-me-up?” His energy level will still be high and he will have a better chance of defeating the dreaded POB.

Why not take a rest? Who says that ten seconds after his last ejaculation spurt that he needs to be heading south? Spend a minute, two minutes, ten or fifteen — whatever it takes! — then slide down. OK, so you will have drained a little but that’s perfectly fine. Collect any leakage and place it on your clitoris. You don’t want to make a mess and you sure don’t want him to miss any of his treat. This also allows for more excitement for you. Make him lick your fingers clean while he is taking a rest. I also suggest that you shave. It makes cleaning up your vulva easier and (most) men love the “clean” look. Besides, trying to lick clean matted pubic hair is almost impossible.Talk it over with him. This desire has been around for years. He has confided with you a very personal wish. Let him know your feelings and you love the idea of him licking you clean. That alone can resolve emotional issues such as embarrassment that masquerade as POB. Tease him by telling him “your going to lick me clean tonight”. This will keep both of your sexual excitement high. Take him by the hand and say, “time for your creampie” and lead him off to the bedroom when he least expects it. No more just watching TV all night. Also give him encouragement, which can be helpful. Tell him you’re going to sit on his face afterward. When he is down there licking you clean, talk to him:

“That’s it honey, lick me clean!”
“Isn’t this what you wanted?”
“It feels great!”

Give it a practice run. Have him thrust inside you for a little while and then lick you a little. Thrust some more, lick some more. Keep it up, and after he cums, it is just another part of the cycle.

Ladies – treat this like basketball tryouts; that something this good is worth fighting for! Make him earn a position on the bench. Be his coach. Coaching is about verbal instructions, lots of reinforced behavior change, being tough, caring, aiming for perfection and practice, practice, practice. If you feel semen running down the side of your ass, tell him that he is missing some and make sure he licks it up. I suggest in the early stages of overcoming his POB, make him clean you out as often as you can. .

Ladies treat your man’s desire as a gift. You have an opportunity to take control in your sexual activities. There are women in this world who have never experienced an orgasm. You are blessed with a man who has a unique desire that needs to be embraced and developed. Having a man lick your vulva is one thing, but teaching him to love eating creampie, gives you a very special position of authority in love making. Generally, you are in control. You are the last one to cum and you no longer leak all over the place. Enjoy your new found role in love-making. Good luck and don’t take “no” for an answer. In no time flat your lover will be enjoying himself and, rest assured that you both will be.

#NSFW Loving Her Without Barriers

Have you ever had one of those conversations with your spouse, partner or lover about what the depth of your love could enable you to achieve? Have you given thought to what sorts of feats you would accomplish to demonstrate the love you have for the other? Have you considered what barriers or obstacles that you could blow through in order to span a measure of the distance to demonstrate to him or her what extent you are willing to travel for them?

Obviously, with a blog title of The Essence of Love-Making and the subject matter that lies within, there is one very erotic action that would be raised as one of the questions that I referred to in the previous paragraph (more on this particular question later). What are the barriers that preclude us from demonstrating absolute comfort with our partner? I suppose that I could make this more specific…does your love compel you to do things that you would ordinarily view as being “gross?”

I find myself increasingly laying down what was once uncomfortable (or, gross, if that term works better for you) in favor of wanting to not let my own inhibitions stand in the way of my affection.  Let me list a few of examples below along with how I now (or desire) to respond.

  1. Deep, passionate kisses first thing in the morning (forsaking morning breath). If we both have morning breath, why does it matter? Kiss away! Kiss freely!!
  2. Full contact, bodies pressed together, hugs when she is sweaty from a workout. Unless I am wearing a suit and preparing to head out for some other special occasion, I will hug her. If she is finishing an athletic event (running race, triathlon, etc.), you had better believe that I am going to hug her in celebration! The question is, does (or will) she hug me?
  3. Making love after a full day (i.e., not showering before intimacy). I know that some couples (especially depending upon what sort of work either does) will absolutely avoid physical contact until after their bodies are clean. Unless I have been out camping for three days, I have no problem with getting our bodies together for passionate sex without a shower. If we both are days without a shower, it truly doesn’t matter.
  4. Oral sex without an immediately prior shower. (see #3). I do enjoy her fragrance and I have no issues with being “down there,” especially if the intimacy is spontaneous and uncontrollable. My natural inclination is to head south no matter what and give her all the pleasure that she desires and can handle.
  5. Kissing after oral sex. For me, this is an absolute no hesitation move. If she goes down on me and takes me to completion, not only would I not resist her kiss, but I need her to kiss me! The same is true for the roles to be reversed. After I pleasure her, I am going to kiss her deeply. Our love fluids are no longer a roadblock for me – instead, they are an on-ramp to the next intimacy freeway!
  6. Wake-up sex following a previous evening of sex. This isn’t a consideration for me. Of course I am ready for sex first thing in the morning. I do like the messy nature of it all and to be with her through all of that is heavenly!
  7. Wake-up oral sex. By now, these situations seem silly. Why would I not go down? I want to wake her up with oral!!
  8. Oral sex following penetrative (i.e. intercourse). Again, this is ridiculous considering the nature of my blog and what I absolutely enjoy doing. It went from a goal to something that is a facet of making love. A means to take intimacy to new levels.
  9. Wake-up oral sex after a prior evening of sex. This is something that I have never tried nor experienced. The idea is sexy yet there needs to be a measure of intimate trust that will allow for me to do this. Does she trust me with her body? Would she let herself be vulnerable to my oral desires? I want to experiment with this one day.

There are other, less sensual expressions that rise to the top of my consciousness such as: sharing food from the same utensil. How about the ultimate in food sharing…biting from the same apple (a la Adam and Eve)? What comes to your mind? What do you see yourself doing or wanting your other half to do?