She Loves My Creampie Eating as Much as I Do!

For Melinda and me, another night of amazing sex means that, at some point, my wife’s creampie gets licked clean and I am the happy and hungry recipient of my own cum. The pleasure meter is now routinely getting buried…like my face to my wife’s cum-soaked pussy…all the way.

What I am coming to realize is that Melinda has wanted me to do this for a very long time. In my previous post (see: Finally! I broke through and Cleaned the Mess I Made), I found that when I finally told Melinda (while actively engaged in intercourse) that I intended on licking my cum from her, she gasped in excitement at the thought. I had been worried that she would find the idea too disgusting (or that there was something wrong with me) at the idea of me, her husband, eating his own semen. Amazingly, the opposite was true. My wife’s arousal skyrocketed and her vaginal walls began to spasm as she pulled her legs, opening her vagina wide and deep, begging me to go as far in as I could go. My massive semen release was exciting to me as I knew that I was going to have a LOT of cum and even more pleasure.

Since that night, my wife will randomly ask me on if I really do enjoy the messy mixture of our fluids. When I respond that I am overwhelmingly turned on just thinking about it, she gasps and gets lost into her own thoughts of me lapping up every drop of cum. She bites her lower lip and relaxes her eyelids, offering a subtle, smirky smile of delight, thinking ahead to another evening of me eating her creampie.

Last night after she sucked on my cock, she wanted me to get inside of her so that I could begin thrusting and releasing my semen (via edging). Melinda was aggressively pursuing my edging ejaculations in order to get her pussy sloppy with cum, looking ahead to me licking her pussy while lapping up our frothy mixture of her wetness and my cum.

Again, she asks me about my desires for our love juices and I can see her body responds which tells me she is incredibly turned on by the thought. Her orgasm while I was licking her pussy last night was, as she said, the most one of the most enjoyably massive one she’s ever experienced. When I reentered her, she couldn’t stop having successive orgasms…something that is a rare occurrence for her. Clearly the mental and physical stimulation was at an all-new high, fueled by my creampie eating and, what I suspect, has been the fulfillment of one of her secret fantasies. But what gets us both overcharged is when I kiss her with my lips and tongue coated with our fluids, the flavor is unmistakable and we both are propelled to continue.

 

Finally! I broke through and Cleaned the Mess I Made

The evening was one of decadence. I veritable sensual assault on my palate and my libido. Melinda’s orgasmic release was only heightened by my whisperings, telling her of my plans only to be further escalated when tongue met saturated vulva and the seminal-vaginal fluid mixture was consumed, lick by gentle lick.

Authors’ note: This article was written in the context of Paul’s journey to break through the barrier of inhibition about eating his creampies with his wife. We will be sharing several more articles that address many of the obstacles that we both had to overcome to attain the sexual freedom we now enjoy.

After so many nights (days, weeks, months…er…years) of sexual activities, last night was THE breakthrough that I’ve awaited with much anticipation. Utterly amazing what overcoming a barrier like this has done for lighting up our bed! I am so encouraged that I will now be able to incorporate post-(orgasm) ejaculation cunnilingus into our sexual encounters and activities on a recurring, if not regular basis!

The evening began like many others – a shower and the warm-up kissing and mutual caressing. Melinda noted the small, battery powered bullet and wondered why it was out being as her favorite toy is her Lelo Sorya due to the overwhelming orgasms she achieves from brief stimulation. When I told her that it was for use on me during fellatio, she was quietly excited at the idea of something spicy to do for me.

When she was ready to move down to me, she grabbed my cock and began stroking the shaft and caressing my boys. Her lips met the head and she began to lick around, moving down to the underside of the glans and corona. Switching on the bullet, she immediately began to apply vibration to the base of the shaft whilst sucking and licking the head. The tingles from the pulsation traveled to the shaft and to my perineum muscles and prostate. The sensation was, to say the least, fabulous!

After a few orgasmic near misses (I got very close to ejaculation), Melinda pulled off, laid back and I moved in for some stroking – my goal to edge a number of times in order to fill her with semen prior to licking her. As I entered, I noticed an unusual increase in arousal and sensitivity in both of us – most likely due to the addition of the vibrator. Melinda’s labia and clitoral shaft were enlarged more than normal without a stroke of stimulation. My sensitivity had me at the point of no return after one or two strokes.

With some careful maneuvering and positioning, I was able to commence in long-term thrusting, trying desperately to push my penis head to the spongy “G-spot” area of the inside of her pussy. Within 5-6 minutes, I felt the prostate pressure mounting and I shortened my strokes to get my orgasm to the edge slowly to prevent myself from going over. As I felt the ejaculation urge arise, I clamped down on the PC-muscle stopping the orgasm while releasing a full pulsations of semen. The beauty of employing the edging technique (provided one is diligent with Kegel exercises and has a strong PC-muscle) is that extending penis-in-vagina activities to be prolonged while her pussy gets increasingly lubricated with the accumulating semen.

Following the third edged-release of my semen, I spied my cock as I withdrew from Melinda’s sloppy pussy to see that it had the appearance of a glistening freshly glazed, elongated doughnut. I looked at my wife’s vaginal opening in time to see a large glob of pearlescent liquid beginning to breech her labia. Extremely aroused and excited, I leaned down thrusting my tongue into the warm cum and scooped out a what seemed like a mouthful. The rich thickness of our cum was overwhelming. I could taste the combination of our flavours swirled together into a concoction of sexy nectar. I continued to extract as much as I could reach with my tongue, stopping only to insert my index finger to scoop out what was beyond the tip of my tongue.

I dragged residue out and upward as I coated Melinda’s labia and clitoral hood with our love juices. I was sensing the tingling sensation on my tongue and in my mouth so I was certain that her vulvar region was similarly stimulated. I began to work on teasing her lips and frenulum while hinting at contact with her clitoris. I continued to work for a time, escalating her arousal as I increased my tongue strokes. She experienced a few small arousal peaks as I worked. Melinda’s excitement was climbing and she begged for the Sorya.

Wanting to oblige her, I reached for the pink wonder and eased in. With a few strokes, Melinda heaved her hips back, begging me to turn it on as she invited a deeper thrust. With a press of the button, the friendly hum engaged and she settled into the sensation. I continued to lick and tease her clit as I worked the toy. Within a few minutes, her body clenched as she tightened for a massive orgasm. Her scream of delight was so loud, I knew the children had to be awakened. With the warm spring evening and the windows open, every neighbor on our street HAD to know that she was hitting the high of orgasmic highs. I have come to enjoy her climaxes more than my own as her signals are so excitingly sexy!

Melinda, not wanting to come down too far after I shut down her Sorya, begged me to get inside of her. As a husband seeking every opportunity to please her, I rapidly obeyed and entered for another session of intercourse. Moments into thrusting, I began to think of how I wanted to broach the subject of eating her creampie. I began to tell her how much I enjoy the sloppy liquids that we create. I began to tell her how sexy the mess is. Melinda’s responses were so electrifying as she spread her legs wide and pulled them back, allowing me to go as deep as I wanted. Her breathing began to get very rapid as she affirmed how sexy she thought it was. I told her that I was going to taste our juices after I came…and she lost all control.

Melinda began to orgasm again (which seldom occurs during intercourse). She said that it was incredibly sexy that I was going to do that. My wife was so heated and so turned on at the thought of me lapping up my semen and her juices…the massive flow…that she just let loose. I couldn’t help but let go of all control. No more edging. No more holding back. I let go of such a wonderfully massive orgasm as my cock began to throb sending pulse after pulse of liquid rushing into her beautiful pussy.

After 8-9 squirts, I quickly withdrew and headed down. The look in her eyes of innocence and allure as she watched me head down once again, this time without a doubt as to the mess at hand. She and I were out of our minds with excitement as I lapped up every drop of liquid that I could get my tongue on. I continued to work her after cleaning all of the visible and reachable cum that I could find. After all was said and done, Melinda headed to the bathroom for her usual post-ejaculation cleanup only to find that there was NOTHING left. I had taken it all in. Her delighted smile was all I needed to see to confirm that we had broken through. This was the milestone that I have been working for the last year to achieve.

The evening was one of decadence. I veritable sensual assault on my palate and my libido. Melinda’s orgasmic release was only heightened by my whisperings, telling her of my plans only to be further escalated when tongue met saturated vulva and the seminal-vaginal fluid mixture was consumed, lick by gentle lick.

Creampie-Eating: A Woman’s Perspective

What is it about creampie eating that makes some males so excited? Is it the thought that this is truly eating the forbidden fruit: or is it the strong desire to please our ladies? Either way, some men want to eat creampie prior to cumming but most shy away after. This article is about the joy women receive from creampie licking and how to teach your man to get over the creampie blues. Most couples report that their relationship and love making rocket to the next level once the creampie blues are understood and overcome.

Sometimes, a writer must concede that he or she is not the authority on a topic or in this case, the perspective of a segment of the population of which he or she is not a member. In trying to convey the female perspective on husbands performing cunnilingus on their wives following (penis-in-vagina, or PIV) sex and subsequent ejaculation, I found this attributable article that conveys the message that I have been attempting to deliver to you. While I found the article on the Love Talk Forum (LTF) enlightening, the poster didn’t reveal their source. After several days of searching, I was unable to locate the source of this wonderful message.

I did take some liberty to make minor grammatical and punctuation changes along with some softening of the terms and verbiage to make the post more congruent with the rest of the The Essence of Making Love blog content. I have provided a link to the source (on the LTF) to give access to those of you who prefer the raw, unfiltered text.

——————————————————————————————

Source: Love Talk Forum (disbanded)
Thread title: Oral sex after sex. I’ve been getting these questions about creampies
Original Author: Unknown
Date Posted: 5 October 2010

What is it about creampie eating that makes some males so excited? Is it the thought that this is truly eating the forbidden fruit: or is it the strong desire to please our ladies? Either way, some men want to eat creampie prior to cumming but most shy away after. This article is about the joy women receive from creampie licking and how to teach your man to get over the creampie blues. Most couples report that their relationship and love making rocket to the next level once the creampie blues are understood and overcome.

The vast majority (99.9%) of men, an orgasm is immediately followed by, for lack of a better term, the Post-Orgasm Blues (POB). POB is a very legitimate feeling. It is the feeling you get after orgasm that just makes you want to curl up in a ball and go to sleep, turn the game back on or do anything except think about sex.  You cum and immediately you lose interest in sex for a little while. There’s no escaping it. POB is a physiological response caused by cascading hormones in your brain. You have little to no control over (without training and encouragement).

The orgasmic cycle and POB physiological response is described (source):

An orgasm (sexual climax) is the conclusion of the plateau phase of the sexual response cycle and may be experienced by both males and females. Orgasm is characterized by intense physical pleasure, controlled by the involuntary, or autonomic, nervous system. It is accompanied by quick cycles of muscle contraction in the lower pelvic muscles, which surround the primary sexual organs and the anus. Orgasms are often associated with other involuntary actions, including muscular spasms in other areas of the body, a general euphoric sensation, and frequently, vocalizations. 

Post orgasm is often experienced as relaxing, which is attributed to the release of prolactin. Male and female brains demonstrate similar changes during orgasm, with brain scans showing a temporary reduction in the activity of large parts of the cerebral cortex. Sexual drive is greatly reduced after orgasm. 

Prolactin (PRL) or Luteotropic hormone (LTH) is a peptide hormone primarily associated with lactation. In breastfeeding, the act of an infant suckling the nipple stimulates the production of prolactin, which fills the breast with milk via a process called lactogenesis, in preparation for the next feed. Oxytocin, another hormone, is also released, which triggers milk let-down. 

In the heat of passion he think he wants to clean out your vagina, but it’s easier said than done because POB can be pretty powerful. Biology trumps desire almost every time.

And let’s forget about the homophobic angle here while we’re on the subject of creampies, shall we? Since when is cunnilingus a homosexual activity (well, unless you’re a lesbian–but that’s another post). I’m not saying that creampies aren’t out there on the fringe – but there’s certainly nothing homosexual about them. Eating a creampie might make him kinky, submissive, or even a little humiliated but it doesn’t make him gay. It makes him a better lover.

So…is it possible to train your man to defeat POB and eat creampie? That’s a good question. You and your partner will be happy to hear the answer is a definite YES. The effects of POB can be overcome. Your brain can be taught to do anything it naturally says “no” to. It takes practice, encouragement, understanding and the most important thing, desire. Not all men have the desire, but if you are with a man who has a desire to eat creampie then you owe it to yourself and him to overcome the POB’s because your sex life and that of your partner will be greatly improved. Consider yourselves one of the lucky ones. Creampie eating is one of the closest, trusting experiences any couple can do. Once he overcome the blues you will want to make it part of your lovemaking routine. Most women say they wished there men had confided in them years ago.

Here are a few proven ways for beating the post-orgasm blues. Most females take to these suggestions quickly and normally report that they take an active role in being the initiators in sex. A female’s sex drive is much higher than that of a male so your frequency will increase dramatically. After all, practice makes perfect. Also, most women report enjoying the feeling of control they are have over their partners. Because of this, creampie-eating will become a constant part of your sexual repertoire.

  • Just do it. This sounds simple, but caving in to POB really is largely mental. If someone rang a fire alarm right after he came, he could muster the energy to get out alive and maybe even spare some energy to put on clothes. He is not in coma, so snap him out of it and have him clean you. You know he has a strong desire and now it’s your turn to cum.
  • Consider creampie eating part of lovemaking, the middle part. Part of the problem for him is an orgasm is a nice stopping place, like a period to a sentence. If you considered it a comma, you would just go on. If he is able to make you cum first, you always had to keep your sexual drive high enough to let him do his deed. Now is the time to change that. When he cums, its your turn, have him slide down as if you are ready for the next phase in a continuous lovemaking medley and you are not done yet.With this attitude, you can keep going all night. Ladies – here is where you can truly take an active part in coaching your man. Men who have a desire to eat creampie, already love cunnilingus. Take charge and have him lick your vulva. Get hot and get wet but do not let your orgasm come. Have the discipline to stop him and tell him to enter you and thrust inside of you hard and deep. After he releases insist that it is your turn and push him south. Not only do you get to enjoy and orgasm (or two), but you will be squeaky clean.
  • Change up the times of that you make love. If you always have intimacy at night, he (and you) will already be tired before you begin. The POB just adds to his exhaustion and he drop happily into sleep. Why not try a “nooner” or a “wake-me-up?” His energy level will still be high and he will have a better chance of defeating the dreaded POB.
  • Why not take a rest? Who says that ten seconds after his last ejaculation spurt that he needs to be heading south? Spend a minute, two minutes, ten or fifteen — whatever it takes! — then slide down. OK, so you will have drained a little but that’s ok. Collect any leakage and place it on your clitoris. You don’t want to make a mess and you sure don’t want him to miss any of his treat. This also allows for more excitement for you. Make him lick your fingers clean while he is taking a rest. I also suggest that you shave. It makes cleaning up  your vulva easier and (most) men love the “clean” look. Besides, trying to lick clean matted pubic hair is almost impossible.Talk it over with him. This desire has been around for years. He has confided with you a very personal wish. Let him know your feelings and you love the idea of him licking you clean. That alone can resolve emotional issues such as embarrassment that masquerade as POB. Tease him by telling him “your going to lick me clean tonight”. This will keep both of your sexual excitement high. Take him by the hand and say, “time for your creampie” and lead him off to the bedroom when he least expects it. No more just watching TV all night. Also give him encouragement, which can be helpful. Tell him you’re going to sit on his face afterward. When he is down there licking you clean, talk to him:“That’s it honey, lick me clean!”
    “Isn’t this what you wanted?”
    “It feels great!”
  • Give it a practice run. Have him thrust inside you for a little while and then lick you a little. Thrust some more, lick some more. Keep it up, and after he cums, it is just another part of the cycle.
  • Ladies – treat this like basketball tryouts; that something this good is worth fighting for! Make him earn a position on the bench. Be his coach. Coaching is about verbal instructions, lots of reinforced behavior change, being tough, caring, aiming for perfection and practice, practice, practice. If you feel semen running down the crack of your bottom, tell him that he is missing some and make sure he licks it up. I suggest in the early stages of overcoming his POB, make him clean you out as often as you can. When I was training my husband he ate me out 2 times/day. Once in the morning and sometime during the day. That lasted a week. After that, we settled into a regular pattern and because of that, he became a pro. But even professionals need practice. I still surprise him when he least expects it. Such as 20 minutes before we need to leave for his mother’s house for dinner. But spontaneity and surprises are fun.
  • Last but definitely not least, collect and save his semen from the night before. Have him collect it in a glass and kept it fresh in the fridge. The next night, prior to heading to bed poured it all over your vulva. When he goes down (prior to POD), he is greeted with day old creampie. It is a fantastic training method, but once you are trained, semen (like bread) is much better when freshly made than day old.

Ladies treat your man’s desire as a gift. You have an opportunity to take control in your sexual activities. There are women in this world who have never experienced an orgasm. You are blessed with a man who has a unique desire that needs to be embraced and developed. Having a man lick your vulva is one thing, but teaching him to love eating creampie, gives you a very special position of authority in love making. Generally, you are in control. You are the last one to cum and you no longer leak all over the place. Enjoy your new found role in love-making. Good luck and don’t take “no” for an answer. In no time flat your lover will be enjoying himself and, rest assured that you both will be.

If your lover finds this desire of yours to be a turn on or even just as tolerable, you (both) are in for a radical change. You will be fulfilling your desire more than you ever dreamed. Most couples report a ten-fold increase in their love-making because she loves her new role in the bedroom and feels there is a lot of catching up to do.

 

Blowing Past the Roadblocks and Extending Intimacy (Part II)

Male physiological response to orgasm and ejaculation is, for the most part, carved into stone. However, there are ways to push beyond the physical limitations but, like wheeling a large ship, the rudders take time to respond to the helm commands.

In Part I of this topic, I covered a handful of the roadblocks that couples (husbands in particular) encounter, preventing them from reaching beyond the gravitational bonds of routine and vanilla intimacy. As one of my friends suggests, the “one and done” mindset (meaning, a single orgasm for one or both spouses) during intimacy can become the norm for far too many marriages without any awareness or realizations that they have become mired in a sexual rut. Like Burt Reynolds’ character (Bandit) in the film, Smokey and the Bandit, I have been bursting through those roadblocks like a 1978 Trans Am running from Sheriff Buford T. Justice.

My hope is that what I am covering today in Part II will provide you with the motivation, excitement and high octane fuel for my readers to blow through each barricade with the accelerator pedal pushed to the floor and through it. I only ask of my readers that they take into consideration that what worked (and is working) for me, may not bring you the same success or, if it does, not in the same timing. The two-most important tools to breaking through are patience and communication.

Overcoming body chemistry limitations
Male physiological response to orgasm and ejaculation is, for the most part, carved into stone. However, there are ways to push beyond the physical limitations but, like wheeling a large ship, the rudders take time to respond to the helm commands. We have to lighten the load, so to speak, in order to make the vessel more responsive. We can’t be dragging an anchor in the water or have a tow-line attached to a ore-laden barge while trying to maneuver as a speedy, nimble frigate.

Stowe the Anchor
What are you dragging that you could retract? Some of us men have challenges with our semen.  In my experience, I had a semen avoidance problem. Though, in my fantasies, I wanted to perform oral on my wife after I ejaculated inside of her, I couldn’t get passed being squeamish around my ejaculate. I had to slowly walk myself through this process. Having made the decision to eat my creampies, first, I masturbated to the point where my penis began emitting precum. From there, I had to start sampling this liquid in order to get an idea of what my cum tasted like. After several sessions (over the course of a few months off and on), I was masturbating to full ejaculation (and orgasm) into my hand and sampling from the large deposit. It still took some time before I could take the entire load into my mouth.

(Note: Squeamish folks may want to skip past this paragraph.) In order to take all of my ejaculate, I thought that it would be easier if I could take it straight from the tap. Being fairly flexible and athletic, one day, I began working my penis and the thought occurred to me that I could contort my body to get the head of my penis close to my mouth when I got close to the point of orgasm. When I felt the pressure rise, I opened my mouth and fired away. Most of my load (at least a tablespoon+) shot and drizzled into my mouth while some deposited onto my chin. I swirled (what was then, the largest amount of my cum that I have had in my mouth) the sweet and salty, warm substance around to get a good idea of it and then swallowed it down. I now knew full well what my wife had been enjoying (yes, she tells me that she loves my product) for years. That roadblock is firmly and resoundingly smashed. Having broken through, I no longer masturbate to eat my semen as I have progressed.

Crank up the Engines for Increased Maneuverability
I am as stubborn as they come and when it comes to breaking through these obstacles, I move slowly. If you understand basic seamanship, you know that adding speed along with rudder changes makes the vessel respond quickly and much more nimble. Not happy with my successive failures in achieving my creampie eating objectives, I determined that I might have better success if I could fill my wife with semen without experiencing full orgasmic ejaculations. During sexual stimulation and arousal, men experience small releases of seminal fluids that serve to lubricate the vagina. In layman’s terms, this is known as precum. However, this dribble of fluid would hardly serve to saturate my wife’s vagina to the point where I’d be happy having eaten a creampie. No, I had to take a different approach.

Throughout our sexual relationship, I have gained awareness of the pressure buildup that is the precursor to orgasm. In many intercourse sessions, in my attempts to prolong the enjoyment for both my wife and me, as I felt the impending point of no return, I could stop thrusting to avoid orgasm. In doing so, I would release an amount of ejaculate that was quite similar to what I achieved when releasing a full orgasm. Recommencing thrusting, I could feel the obvious flood of semen that was now present inside my wife. This process is what I term as “edging.” Armed with this knowledge, I thought that rather than try to wait until after I had an orgasm, I could spend some time having penis-in-vagina (PIV) intercourse, ejaculate into my wife via edging, then move down for some delightfully sloppy cunnilingus.  After a few times of edging and subsequent pie-eating, the mental block begins to decay.

My Sails are Unfurled, But the Air is Calm There is nothing quite like dead air when your ship is trying to make way. You have no power to move and obviously, there is no power to change your course. You’re stuck, dead in the water (DIW). In my previous two methods of breaking through the roadblocks, I have addressed to proven methods to overcome some specific challenges that are rooted more in the mental arena. This method is used to overcome a physical challenge that can arise when attempting to use the edging technique.

In the midst of PIV intercourse, you sense the rise of pressure as you are heading to eminent orgasm. As you become aware, of the impending moment, you decide that you want to shut off the orgasm before you reach the PONR only to find that you are physically incapable of doing so successfully. Suddenly, your penis is throbbing as spurt after spurt of semen is flinging amazingly into your wife’s vagina. The inevitable happens again as your loss of desire in eating her creampie rears up once again. Dead in the water.

This happened to me on so many occasions that I’d be better served counting the hairs on my thickly-covered scalp than to tally the numbers of failed attempts to control my ejaculations. I read some information about premature ejaculation and incontinence (not that I suffer from either of these very devastating conditions) while keying in on the idea that one can shut off the flow of ejaculation. Kegel exercises can help with many aspects of male (and female) sex organ health. For me, they have helped me to gain absolute control over my ejaculatory response.

I have an app on my Android phone that helps me keep on track with my exercises. I am prompted to work out my PC muscle 3-4 times a day, adhering to the strict repetitions and intervals of each set. The results are downright amazing. In just a few days of exercising, I could shut down the orgasm while my ejaculations occurred. Today, I can edge 3-4 times (each edge produces 3-5 spurts of semen) which leaves a considerable amount of fluids inside my wife.

All Engines Ahead Full!  Communication is imperative in navigating a ship. The coordination of information between the navigation plotters, the folks shooting visual bearings, the ship’s conning officer and the helmsman is a delicate, yet deliberate dance of oral interaction and actions. Without the direct flow of information, chaos ensues and the ship can stand into danger.

The same principle applies in the bedroom. The single most effective method in overcoming barriers in this creampie quest that propelled me the furthest and fastest was communication. When I finally realized that my bride who loved me and honored me as her husband would harbor no ill thoughts toward me when I told her about my desires. Once I fully understood that my deepest, most erotic thoughts were safe with her (and hers with me), I knew that we would be able to enjoy so much more during our sexual intimacy.

I told Melinda initially (about my desire to lick her cum-soaked vulva) while I was in the midst of thrusting during intercourse. Her immediate escalation of arousal was an obvious sexual response, but it wasn’t in the realm of her consciousness yet. I had to do that during an authentically open dialog in the proper context (she can’t talk about sex unless she’s already thinking about it). At first, her reaction was lacking enthusiasm, however the more she considered it, the more she liked the idea. Since then, she is very encouraging and prepares us both for my creampie eating session.

There are certainly other methods that folks have employed in overcoming these barriers. While those I described are what I used, there are, perhaps others that some of you want to share. I also know that there are women out there who desire for their husbands to do this, but as of yet, haven’t bothered to propose it to them due to a myriad of concerns that could result in rejection.

If you have taken the lead in overcoming any roadblocks in the pursuit of creampie eating (either as a giver or recipient), we would love to hear what has worked for you!

Identifying and Understanding the Roadblocks to Continuing Intimacy (Part I)

For me, the communication barrier is the fear of rejection. My fantasies all involve my wife (meaning I don’t have any thoughts of including others), no public sex, etc. My fantasies aren’t exactly mild, either. But, I don’t easily tell them to my wife. I know that if I have unmentioned fantasies, my wife has some as well.

As one who wanted to gain some insight from husbands who had experienced success in overcoming the post-intercourse orgasm loss of interest and the physiological-mental mandated cessation of intimate activities, I turned to the internet to see what other husbands have dealt with. Sadly, the web is rife with (big shock) pornography and scant few helpful guidance regarding how to actually launch into one’s’ spouse’s semen-saturated vulva.

Wading through the muck, I did find some nuggets of information that are seemingly based in scientific fact. For many men, we have some amazingly well thought out plans for continuing intimacy beyond our orgasm. We imagine out pleased our spouses will be when we can pull out after releasing and commence with another round of cunnilingus. The thought of diving into a pool of our love juices, dominated by our semen, is highly arousing (to many of us) with the desire to bring our lover to another orgasm is highly erotic. For me, the re-hashing my plan as I am thrusting inside of my wife has been such a huge turn-on, that I lose all control and orgasm arrives considerably faster than I had anticipated. The emotional let-down, combined with the post-orgasm interest loss only means that another plan has been laid to waste.

Working against chemistry
I have pondered this (as have many unsatisfied wives, I am certain) for years. Why can’t I just get passed this reflexive response? One doctor asserts that mens’ body chemistry actually changes in the moments following orgasm. Dr. Billy Goldberg (co-author of Why Do Men Fall Asleep After Sex?) asserts, “the biochemical prolactin is released, physically altering his body and making him very tired.” As we are all unique and our bodies respond to stimuli and chemistry differently, some men are, more than likely, less affected by the flood of oxytocin, prolactin, gamma amino butyric acid. This release can affect both the level of sexual interest and arousal as well as the ability to stay erect and awake.

Challenged by temporary increased (near-painful) sensitivity
I suppose that for some, the ability to continue on after a full orgasmic ejaculation is easier than it is for others and there are plenty of anecdotes swirling around the internet that seem, to suggest that. Unfortunately for me, I am firmly in the camp where I really have to force myself and work to continue on, fighting the hypersensitivity that my penis experiences, post-orgasm (some of you men are familiar with the “please stop” requests we make to our wives). For a subset of this group, continued stimulation can be downright painful.

I have read other anecdotes that seem to suggest that with age, this post-orgasm hurdle diminishes somewhat as the penis loses some sensitivity. I can confirm that I have been able to continue onward, more so in the recent years as opposed to in my youth.

Culturally stigmatized
Rtumblr_o32zlwvnZH1v03usjo1_500egardless of the community (secular, faith-based) there are many who are seated firmly within certain camps who view any sort of semen ingestion negatively (regardless if the person tasting the fluid is male or female). Still others look down solely upon a man in disgust when the idea of him taking in his own semen is mentioned. It is also very common for both husband and wife to pursue post-coital clean-up via a shower or a quick wipe down with a towel or tissue (though tissue can make the mess worse…don’t go this route) and discard the liquid product of their lovemaking. Some folks (on various sex discussion forums infer that a man consuming his semen from his wife’s vagina is a homosexual act (which hardly makes sense when husband and wife clearly constitutes a heterosexual couple – for my definition, anyway).

Perhaps the biggest stigma isn’t a spoken or demonstrated one at all. Perhaps the male spouse has inserted his own roadblock (to licking his semen from his wife), imagining his wife’s negative reaction as he moves down to perform cunnilingus on her semen-saturated vulva?

Too little time, too darned tired
In my marriage, both my wife and I have gotten caught in a trap of staying up way too late. After we get the kids to bed, we have a very short window of time for just the two of us to talk an interact as adults. Our kids lead a very active lifestyle as do my wife and I, and so the time for sexual intimacy gets squeezed and encroached upon. I get up well before the sun rises for my job, so simply staying up later for sex, though I am fine with the sex-for-sleep trade, my wife isn’t. On the nights when she still wants to have a little something, it is a quickie or wait for another night.

If I had a dollar for every night that this fragile window of time was shattered by a late night phone call, a kid who chose not to sleep, or a lengthy discussion was started, I would be an extremely wealthy man. If I had all of that money, I would trade it in an instant to have all of those nights of intimacy restored to us.

How do we overcome these roadblocks?
Regardless of the barriers and inhibitions that arise for the man who, with every intention before and during intimacy, has laid plans that this moment is going to be THE moment, fails yet again to carry out the act. The repeated disappointment routine can be maddening and very discouraging while injecting serious difficulties into the marriage bed as the husband never experiences success and is too inhibited to talk about it. This is a very serious concern for marriages. The bottom line in this is that we need to be bold in our marriages. We love and trust each other with so many other aspects of our lives. We are sharing our bodies with each other when we engage in sexual activities. How is it that we don’t share our desires and fantasies with each other? We don’t communicate. Why?

For me, the communication barrier is the fear of rejection. My fantasies all involve my wife (meaning I don’t have any thoughts of including others), no public sex, etc. My fantasies aren’t exactly mild, either. But, I don’t easily tell them to my wife. I know that if I have unmentioned fantasies, my wife has some as well.

Continue to Part II
This is part one of a multi-part series with the goal in mind to de-stigmatize the sharing of sexual fluids between partners. Men and and women both can enjoy the increased arousal and other benefits of post-ejaculation and post-orgasm oral sex.