Why Eat Creampies? That’s a Little Weird, Don’t You Think?

Sometimes I wonder if I am as weird as the “normal” public thinks I am. I enjoy sex with my wife. I should restate that. I enjoy making love to Melinda. Ok, once more. I get the utmost in sexual satisfaction in pleasuring my wife. But the only person who knows me and knows what that entails is my wife. So my weirdness is unknown to the people in my circles. I can imagine that if my friends and family could connect me to this blog, the questions that arise would be very similar to what one can find (proliferated across sex discussion sites) across the internet. Judging by the inquiries and many of the replies (to them), I could only ascertain that I am, in fact, strange…or at least what I like to do during intimacy is.

  • “Why do you eat your cum?”
  • “Isn’t that “gay” to do that?”
  • “What does she get out of you licking up your cum?”
  • “Does she like it when you lick your semen from her pussy?’
  • “What is the attraction to a pussy dripping with cum?”
  • “How do you get past the loss of desire after you experience an orgasm?”
  • “How do wives view this creampie-eating act? Are they aroused by it?”

These are a few of the questions that I and others have had and have been asked by others regarding this highly erotic sexual activity. I know that there are several more that I haven’t listed and I have no doubts that some of you will have more. If you do want to ask me anything directly, I have provided a vehicle for you to do so at the bottom of this post. I will take the time to address them directly.

So what is the big deal about a husband being interested in his cum? It is an interesting question. From (this) man’s perspective, the visual aspect has been at the very center. When I was young, there was a conflict between curiosity and objection (to contact with it).  For other men, I can suppose that there are similar issues and interests. Some of those more driven by there curiosities had no problem with the warm, creamy substance, giving into the idea to sample it. Once that barrier broke, a fair amount of those men had routine oral contact with their seed. Others might have sampled their product, not finding any reason to try again.

The visual of semen leaking back out from inside of her pussy (that one has just finished inside of) is a turn-on for most, if not all husbands. Why? Semen has a life-giving quality (the concept of which resides in the recesses of a man’s consciousness) that when left inside of a fertile woman’s vaginal canal, the possibility of conception is high (during ovulation, of course). When my wife and I were trying to conceive, I was amazed at how aroused I got when I pulled out of her and saw my semen with the understanding that my seed was truly alive with life.  Weird? Probably. But this was a step in my creampie-eating process (progress).

Eating cum. It certainly sounds unappealing when one thinks about it as boiled down to simply ingesting the fluid. But when husband and wife are so aroused to the point that their hormones are raging and they are seemingly on fire as both are fully engaged in each other’s pleasure, eating cum during sexual activity is an amazing demonstration of a husband’s love and passion for his wife. Regardless of how much foreplay and “coreplay” (as described by Ian Kerner in his book, “She Comes First: A Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman“) a husband and wife engage in, the typical intimate encounter concludes with the husband’s orgasm and ejaculation. This amounts to a “one-and-done” situation. Unfortunately for most wives, they are missing out on what could be an over-the-top sexual encounter, replete with multiple orgasms.

Multiple orgasms are not limited to the wives in these extended intimacy sessions. The erotic (and taboo) nature of slipping down to perform cunnilingus on her cum-filled pussy provides the husband with immeasurable increased stimulation always results an erection and the ability to reenter his wife. The ensuing intercourse is vastly superior (to the initial round and initial orgasmic ejaculation). For me and Melinda, an evening of this activity (PIV and oral) results in a series of climaxes that leave us overwhelmingly satisfied and thoroughly exhausted. So that’s why. Eating our cum is a means to a series of ends rather than being the end itself. I had to get past the resistance to my own semen in order to attain my abilities to provide my wife and I with this incredible pleasure.

“Doesn’t the act of eating your own semen mean that you are gay?” It is certainly a common question that gets raised in discussion forums with some regularity. When people pose this question, they seem to be focused solely upon the semen. But we can think of this from a few different angles and apply a smidgen of wisdom and logic to answer this. Most men masturbate (so do a lot of women). It is a simple fact. There are countless surveys (where men commonly admit to self-gratification) to back up that statement. The percentage of men who admit to masturbating is somewhere between 95-99% (of the survey sample). In light of that fact, we can analyze exactly what masturbation (for men) entails. During an instance of arousal, a man must place his hand on a cock and begin to massage and stroke the organ until orgasm and ejaculation. Take a moment and consider that. Is that a homosexual act? Not in the slightest. It is merely sexual self-gratification. The same is true when considering a husband providing pleasure to his wife through oral stimulation regardless of the presence of his semen.

After cumming inside of her, men often lose the drive to continue with their plan to lick the semen as it flows out of her. The visual is amazing and yet the post-ejaculation let-down is difficult to overcome.

Once a husband has decided that he wants to try performing cunnilingus on his wife after his orgasm (during PIV), more than likely, he will be faced with a diminished post-ejaculation libido  (which is very typical for most men). During intercourse, the husband’s arousal is incredibly heightened and he has his mind made up that he is going to move down and orally pleasure his wife.  However, in the waning seconds following his ejaculation, the decision is set aside as the husband gives in to the “let-down” that accompanies orgasm.  It isn’t the husband’s fault, it a normal male response due to the chemicals released within his brain, signaling that the need for intercourse (mating) has subsided (read our post, “Identifying and Understanding the Roadblocks to Continuing Intimacy“).  It seems that men are fighting chemistry and nature. In my opinion (which is  based upon my personal experience and feedback from other men), pushing past the sexual instincts requires one simple yet counter-intuitive step. Just get down there and do it!

If you are a man like me and had to overcome a revulsion toward semen, you’ll have to take a somewhat longer road to get to the point where you can simply push your face into your wife’s cream-filled and covered vulva. This process worked for me and in my estimation, it can work for anyone.

Trust us that once you make the move to do this, the pleasure will be unbelievable for both of you. What are you waiting for? Just put your mouth on her and enjoy the essence of your shared love!

Now that you made it to this point, you probably have a decent overview of this from the husband’s perspective by now. But what about what the women think? How does a wife see this? It is a great question and one that I can only address from anecdotes and personal experience (as relayed from my wife, Melinda).

Though it took some time for me to get to this point, I have learned that my wife has been wanting me to do this for quite some time. Although she didn’t consider the specific aspect of me eating my semen, she did crave having me go down on her to continue stimulating her and helping her to additional orgasms. What I learned through this is that the taboo (and socially forbidden) nature of this gives her an extremely heightened arousal because my tongue is directly immersed into her vagina that is filled with my semen. Now, when we are in the midst of intercourse, she asks me if I am going to clean up my “mess.” Without hesitation, I affirm my intentions and within milliseconds is gripped with orgasm. My own climax is subsequently triggered and I explode inside of her. Because she asks, I know that it is my wife’s desire to have me do this.

Considering all this, the pleasure that a wife and husband can experience – above and beyond the one-and-done norm – should be motivation enough for him to just plant his face into the creamy fray. Our best advice for all husbands is quite simple. JUST DO IT!  Ladies, if your husbands aren’t doing this and they have made it known (to you) that they want to do this, it is also easy. Make it plainly obvious that they need to get down there. As your husband starts cumming, tell them that they are going to go down. When you feel the last pulse of your husband’s cock, don’t let them collapse onto you. Push them down between your legs and pull their faces inward. Take control! If Melinda would have done this, I would have been eating my creampies YEARS ago.

Do you have questions or need some feedback from us? Please send them to us and we will gladly respond to you.

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Letting Go of Ourselves and Pressing Into Our Relationship and Intimacy

Love Making

Have you ever had one of those conversations with your spouse, partner or lover about what the depth of your love could enable you to achieve? Have you given thought to what sorts of feats you would accomplish to demonstrate the love you have for the other? Have you considered what barriers or obstacles that you could blow through in order to span a measure of the distance to demonstrate to him or her what extent you are willing to travel for them?

Obviously, with a blog title of The Essence of Love-Making and the subject matter that lies within, there is one very erotic action that would be raised as one of the questions that I referred to in the previous paragraph (more on this particular question later). What are the barriers that preclude us from demonstrating absolute comfort with our partner? Melinda and I considered that we could make this more specific…does your love compel you to do things that you would ordinarily view as being “gross?”

I find myself increasingly laying down what was once uncomfortable (or, gross, if that term works better for you) in favor of wanting to not let my own inhibitions stand in the way of my affection.  Let me list a few of examples below along with how I now (or desire) to respond.

  1. Deep, passionate kisses first thing in the morning (forsaking morning breath). If we both have morning breath, why does it matter? Kiss away! Kiss freely!!
  2. Full contact, bodies pressed together, hugs when she is sweaty from a workout. Unless I am wearing a suit and preparing to head out for some other special occasion, I will hug her. If she is finishing an athletic event (running race, triathlon, etc.), you had better believe that I am going to hug her in celebration! The question is, does (or will) she hug me?
  3. Making love after a full day (i.e., not showering before intimacy). I know that some couples (especially depending upon what sort of work either does) will absolutely avoid physical contact until after their bodies are clean. Unless I have been out camping for three days, I have no problem with getting our bodies together for passionate sex without a shower. If we both are days without a shower, it truly doesn’t matter.
  4. Oral sex without an immediately prior shower. (see #3). I do enjoy her fragrance and I have no issues with being “down there,” especially if the intimacy is spontaneous and uncontrollable. My natural inclination is to head south no matter what and give her all the pleasure that she desires and can handle.
  5. Kissing after oral sex. For me, this is an absolute no hesitation move. If she goes down on me and takes me to completion, not only would I not resist her kiss, but I need her to kiss me! The same is true for the roles to be reversed. After I pleasure her, I am going to kiss her deeply. Our love fluids are no longer a roadblock for me – instead, they are an on-ramp to the next intimacy freeway!
  6. Wake-up sex following a previous evening of sex. This isn’t a consideration for me. Of course I am ready for sex first thing in the morning. I do like the messy nature of it all and to be with her through all of that is heavenly!
  7. Wake-up oral sex. By now, these situations seem silly. Why would I not go down? I want to wake her up with oral!!
  8. Oral sex following penetrative (i.e. intercourse). Again, this is ridiculous considering the nature of my blog and what I absolutely enjoy doing. It went from a goal to something that is a facet of making love. A means to take intimacy to new levels.
  9. Wake-up oral sex after a prior evening of sex. This is something that I have never tried nor experienced. The idea is sexy yet there needs to be a measure of intimate trust that will allow for me to do this. Does she trust me with her body? Would she let herself be vulnerable to my oral desires? I want to experiment with this one day.

There are other, less physically sexual, yet no less sensual expressions that come to mind. Sharing food from the same utensil? How about the ultimate in food sharing…biting from the same apple (a la Adam and Eve)? What comes to your mind? What do you see yourself doing or wanting your other half to do?

#NSFW Love Liquid: Increasing the Excitement

Warning: This post contains graphic content (including imagery) and should not be viewed unless you are 18 years of age or older. Though the content is interspersed with both clinical and more conventional (i.e. bedroom) terminology, I try to keep the language as neutral as possible.

This was written to encourage couples to reach beyond the realm of complacent sexual intimacy. Spicing up the relationship doesn’t mean that couples look outside their relationship, instead choosing to deepen their love and expressiveness and transforming from the realm of simply receiving. Giving IS receiving and this activity is one that I have enjoyed with my wife.

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What is it about creampie eating that makes some males so excited? Is it the thought that this is truly eating the forbidden fruit: or is it the strong desire to please our ladies? Either way, some men want to eat creampie prior to cumming but most shy away after. This article is about the joy women receive from creampie licking and how to teach your man to get over the creampie blues. Most couples report that their relationship and love making rocket to the next level once the creampie blues are understood and overcome.

The vast majority (99.9%) of men, an orgasm is immediately followed by, for lack of a better term, the Post-Orgasm Blues (POB). POB is a very legitimate feeling. It is the feeling you get after orgasm that just makes you want to curl up in a ball and go to sleep, turn the game back on or do anything except think about sex. You cum and immediately you lose interest in sex for a little while. There’s no escaping it. POB is a physiological response caused by cascading hormones in your brain. You have little to no control over (without training and encouragement).

The orgasmic cycle and POB physiological response is described (source):

An orgasm (sexual climax) is the conclusion of the plateau phase of the sexual response cycle and may be experienced by both males and females. Orgasm is characterized by intense physical pleasure, controlled by the involuntary, or autonomic, nervous system. It is accompanied by quick cycles of muscle contraction in the lower pelvic muscles, which surround the primary sexual organs and the anus. Orgasms are often associated with other involuntary actions, including muscular spasms in other areas of the body, a general euphoric sensation, and frequently, vocalizations.

Post orgasm is often experienced as relaxing, which is attributed to the release of prolactin. Male and female brains demonstrate similar changes during orgasm, with brain scans showing a temporary reduction in the activity of large parts of the cerebral cortex. Sexual drive is greatly reduced after orgasm.

Prolactin (PRL) or Luteotropic hormone (LTH) is a peptide hormone primarily associated with lactation. In breastfeeding, the act of an infant suckling the nipple stimulates the production of prolactin, which fills the breast with milk via a process called lactogenesis, in preparation for the next feed. Oxytocin, another hormone, is also released, which triggers milk let-down.

Both partners have nothing but excitement and arousal to gain from sharing in this sensual and very intimate act. Cum play for him and more cunnilingus for her!

In the heat of passion he think he wants to clean out your vagina, but it’s easier said than done because POB can be pretty powerful. Biology trumps desire almost every time.

And let’s forget about the homophobic angle here while we’re on the subject of creampies, shall we? Since when is cunnilingus a homosexual activity (well, unless you’re a lesbian–but that’s another post). I’m not saying that creampies aren’t out there on the fringe – but there’s certainly nothing homosexual about them. Eating a creampie might make him kinky, submissive, or even a little humiliated but it doesn’t make him gay. It makes him a better lover.

So…is it possible to train your man to defeat POB and eat creampie? That’s a good question. You and your partner will be happy to hear the answer is a definite YES. The effects of POB can be overcome. Your brain can be taught to do anything it naturally says “no” to. It takes practice, encouragement, understanding and the most important thing, desire. Not all men have the desire, but if you are with a man who has a desire to eat creampie then you owe it to yourself and him to overcome the POB’s because your sex life and that of your partner will be greatly improved. Consider yourselves one of the lucky ones. Creampie eating is one of the closest, trusting experiences any couple can do. Once he overcome the blues you will want to make it part of your lovemaking routine. Most women say they wished there men had confided in them years ago.

Here are a few proven ways for beating the post-orgasm blues. Most females take to these suggestions quickly and normally report that they take an active role in being the initiators in sex. A female’s sex drive is much higher than that of a male so your frequency will increase dramatically. After all, practice makes perfect. Also, most women report enjoying the feeling of control they are have over their partners. Because of this, creampie-eating will become a constant part of your sexual repertoire.

Just do it. This sounds simple, but caving in to POB really is largely mental. If someone rang a fire alarm right after he came, he could muster the energy to get out alive and maybe even spare some energy to put on clothes. He is not in coma, so snap him out of it and have him clean you. You know he has a strong desire and now it’s your turn to cum.

After you both enjoy orgasms, when he goes back down on her extremely sensitive vulva and clitoris, the results will most certainly be nothing short of spectacular.

Consider creampie eating part of lovemaking, the middle part. Part of the problem for him is an orgasm is a nice stopping place, like a period to a sentence. If you considered it a comma, you would just go on. If he is able to make you cum first, you always had to keep your sexual drive high enough to let him do his deed. Now is the time to change that. When he cums, its your turn, have him slide down as if you are ready for the next phase in a continuous lovemaking medley and you are not done yet.With this attitude, you can keep going all night. Ladies – here is where you can truly take an active part in coaching your man. Men who have a cum-play desire to eat creampie, already love cunnilingus. Take charge and have him lick your vulva. Get hot and get wet but do not let your orgasm come. Have the discipline to stop him and tell him to enter you and thrust inside of you hard and deep. After he releases insist that it is your turn and push him south. Not only do you get to enjoy and orgasm (or two), but you will be squeaky clean.

Change up the times of that you make love. If you always have intimacy at night, he (and you) will already be tired before you begin. The POB just adds to his exhaustion and he drop happily into sleep. Why not try a “nooner” or a “wake-me-up?” His energy level will still be high and he will have a better chance of defeating the dreaded POB.

Why not take a rest? Who says that ten seconds after his last ejaculation spurt that he needs to be heading south? Spend a minute, two minutes, ten or fifteen — whatever it takes! — then slide down. OK, so you will have drained a little but that’s perfectly fine. Collect any leakage and place it on your clitoris. You don’t want to make a mess and you sure don’t want him to miss any of his treat. This also allows for more excitement for you. Make him lick your fingers clean while he is taking a rest. I also suggest that you shave. It makes cleaning up your vulva easier and (most) men love the “clean” look. Besides, trying to lick clean matted pubic hair is almost impossible.Talk it over with him. This desire has been around for years. He has confided with you a very personal wish. Let him know your feelings and you love the idea of him licking you clean. That alone can resolve emotional issues such as embarrassment that masquerade as POB. Tease him by telling him “your going to lick me clean tonight”. This will keep both of your sexual excitement high. Take him by the hand and say, “time for your creampie” and lead him off to the bedroom when he least expects it. No more just watching TV all night. Also give him encouragement, which can be helpful. Tell him you’re going to sit on his face afterward. When he is down there licking you clean, talk to him:

“That’s it honey, lick me clean!”
“Isn’t this what you wanted?”
“It feels great!”

Give it a practice run. Have him thrust inside you for a little while and then lick you a little. Thrust some more, lick some more. Keep it up, and after he cums, it is just another part of the cycle.

Ladies – treat this like basketball tryouts; that something this good is worth fighting for! Make him earn a position on the bench. Be his coach. Coaching is about verbal instructions, lots of reinforced behavior change, being tough, caring, aiming for perfection and practice, practice, practice. If you feel semen running down the side of your ass, tell him that he is missing some and make sure he licks it up. I suggest in the early stages of overcoming his POB, make him clean you out as often as you can. .

Ladies treat your man’s desire as a gift. You have an opportunity to take control in your sexual activities. There are women in this world who have never experienced an orgasm. You are blessed with a man who has a unique desire that needs to be embraced and developed. Having a man lick your vulva is one thing, but teaching him to love eating creampie, gives you a very special position of authority in love making. Generally, you are in control. You are the last one to cum and you no longer leak all over the place. Enjoy your new found role in love-making. Good luck and don’t take “no” for an answer. In no time flat your lover will be enjoying himself and, rest assured that you both will be.

#NSFW Loving Her Without Barriers

Have you ever had one of those conversations with your spouse, partner or lover about what the depth of your love could enable you to achieve? Have you given thought to what sorts of feats you would accomplish to demonstrate the love you have for the other? Have you considered what barriers or obstacles that you could blow through in order to span a measure of the distance to demonstrate to him or her what extent you are willing to travel for them?

Obviously, with a blog title of The Essence of Love-Making and the subject matter that lies within, there is one very erotic action that would be raised as one of the questions that I referred to in the previous paragraph (more on this particular question later). What are the barriers that preclude us from demonstrating absolute comfort with our partner? I suppose that I could make this more specific…does your love compel you to do things that you would ordinarily view as being “gross?”

I find myself increasingly laying down what was once uncomfortable (or, gross, if that term works better for you) in favor of wanting to not let my own inhibitions stand in the way of my affection.  Let me list a few of examples below along with how I now (or desire) to respond.

  1. Deep, passionate kisses first thing in the morning (forsaking morning breath). If we both have morning breath, why does it matter? Kiss away! Kiss freely!!
  2. Full contact, bodies pressed together, hugs when she is sweaty from a workout. Unless I am wearing a suit and preparing to head out for some other special occasion, I will hug her. If she is finishing an athletic event (running race, triathlon, etc.), you had better believe that I am going to hug her in celebration! The question is, does (or will) she hug me?
  3. Making love after a full day (i.e., not showering before intimacy). I know that some couples (especially depending upon what sort of work either does) will absolutely avoid physical contact until after their bodies are clean. Unless I have been out camping for three days, I have no problem with getting our bodies together for passionate sex without a shower. If we both are days without a shower, it truly doesn’t matter.
  4. Oral sex without an immediately prior shower. (see #3). I do enjoy her fragrance and I have no issues with being “down there,” especially if the intimacy is spontaneous and uncontrollable. My natural inclination is to head south no matter what and give her all the pleasure that she desires and can handle.
  5. Kissing after oral sex. For me, this is an absolute no hesitation move. If she goes down on me and takes me to completion, not only would I not resist her kiss, but I need her to kiss me! The same is true for the roles to be reversed. After I pleasure her, I am going to kiss her deeply. Our love fluids are no longer a roadblock for me – instead, they are an on-ramp to the next intimacy freeway!
  6. Wake-up sex following a previous evening of sex. This isn’t a consideration for me. Of course I am ready for sex first thing in the morning. I do like the messy nature of it all and to be with her through all of that is heavenly!
  7. Wake-up oral sex. By now, these situations seem silly. Why would I not go down? I want to wake her up with oral!!
  8. Oral sex following penetrative (i.e. intercourse). Again, this is ridiculous considering the nature of my blog and what I absolutely enjoy doing. It went from a goal to something that is a facet of making love. A means to take intimacy to new levels.
  9. Wake-up oral sex after a prior evening of sex. This is something that I have never tried nor experienced. The idea is sexy yet there needs to be a measure of intimate trust that will allow for me to do this. Does she trust me with her body? Would she let herself be vulnerable to my oral desires? I want to experiment with this one day.

There are other, less sensual expressions that rise to the top of my consciousness such as: sharing food from the same utensil. How about the ultimate in food sharing…biting from the same apple (a la Adam and Eve)? What comes to your mind? What do you see yourself doing or wanting your other half to do?