Letting Go of Ourselves and Pressing Into Our Relationship and Intimacy

Love Making

Have you ever had one of those conversations with your spouse, partner or lover about what the depth of your love could enable you to achieve? Have you given thought to what sorts of feats you would accomplish to demonstrate the love you have for the other? Have you considered what barriers or obstacles that you could blow through in order to span a measure of the distance to demonstrate to him or her what extent you are willing to travel for them?

Obviously, with a blog title of The Essence of Love-Making and the subject matter that lies within, there is one very erotic action that would be raised as one of the questions that I referred to in the previous paragraph (more on this particular question later). What are the barriers that preclude us from demonstrating absolute comfort with our partner? Melinda and I considered that we could make this more specific…does your love compel you to do things that you would ordinarily view as being “gross?”

I find myself increasingly laying down what was once uncomfortable (or, gross, if that term works better for you) in favor of wanting to not let my own inhibitions stand in the way of my affection.  Let me list a few of examples below along with how I now (or desire) to respond.

  1. Deep, passionate kisses first thing in the morning (forsaking morning breath). If we both have morning breath, why does it matter? Kiss away! Kiss freely!!
  2. Full contact, bodies pressed together, hugs when she is sweaty from a workout. Unless I am wearing a suit and preparing to head out for some other special occasion, I will hug her. If she is finishing an athletic event (running race, triathlon, etc.), you had better believe that I am going to hug her in celebration! The question is, does (or will) she hug me?
  3. Making love after a full day (i.e., not showering before intimacy). I know that some couples (especially depending upon what sort of work either does) will absolutely avoid physical contact until after their bodies are clean. Unless I have been out camping for three days, I have no problem with getting our bodies together for passionate sex without a shower. If we both are days without a shower, it truly doesn’t matter.
  4. Oral sex without an immediately prior shower. (see #3). I do enjoy her fragrance and I have no issues with being “down there,” especially if the intimacy is spontaneous and uncontrollable. My natural inclination is to head south no matter what and give her all the pleasure that she desires and can handle.
  5. Kissing after oral sex. For me, this is an absolute no hesitation move. If she goes down on me and takes me to completion, not only would I not resist her kiss, but I need her to kiss me! The same is true for the roles to be reversed. After I pleasure her, I am going to kiss her deeply. Our love fluids are no longer a roadblock for me – instead, they are an on-ramp to the next intimacy freeway!
  6. Wake-up sex following a previous evening of sex. This isn’t a consideration for me. Of course I am ready for sex first thing in the morning. I do like the messy nature of it all and to be with her through all of that is heavenly!
  7. Wake-up oral sex. By now, these situations seem silly. Why would I not go down? I want to wake her up with oral!!
  8. Oral sex following penetrative (i.e. intercourse). Again, this is ridiculous considering the nature of my blog and what I absolutely enjoy doing. It went from a goal to something that is a facet of making love. A means to take intimacy to new levels.
  9. Wake-up oral sex after a prior evening of sex. This is something that I have never tried nor experienced. The idea is sexy yet there needs to be a measure of intimate trust that will allow for me to do this. Does she trust me with her body? Would she let herself be vulnerable to my oral desires? I want to experiment with this one day.

There are other, less physically sexual, yet no less sensual expressions that come to mind. Sharing food from the same utensil? How about the ultimate in food sharing…biting from the same apple (a la Adam and Eve)? What comes to your mind? What do you see yourself doing or wanting your other half to do?

Communicating About Sex: Almost as Good as Sex Itself!

Seldom, if ever, are there awkward moments of silence where either of us is left struggling for something to talk about. Sitting on the couch with the television off, we can talk for hours as the subject matter meanders about and our participatory emotions can run through the entire spectrum. When we’re together on a road trip, sharing in mutual interests as we dive into various aspects and details of what is on our mind, occupies the airspace. However, there are some areas and topics that were truly never discussed in any sort of depth. By now, you might be wondering what any of this has to do with me enjoying making and tasting our creampies?

One of the single-most exciting aspects of my pursuit of growth in our intimacy has to be the breakthrough in communication that Melinda and I are experiencing. Talking about sex in a very abstract, impersonal sense has never been a challenge for my wife and I. We can talk about the cultural issues, social downfalls and various other perspectives without hesitation. But, when we begin to encroach upon our personal sexual intimacy, our wants and desires in particular, we have historically stayed as far away from any conversational depth.

As I have progressed from a man who refused any sort of oral contact with his semen to one who gladly tastes and eats it (during intimacy with my wife), I am just now starting to scratch the surface of open dialogue with my wife about my intimacy fantasies and desires with her. What began as simple innuendo and subtle inferences is slowly transitioning to frank and open discussion. The ice-breaker for me was an evening, while engaged in intercourse, as I was thrusting inside of Melinda, her pussy already filled with my cum, I told her that I was going to go back down to taste her and my cum. In an instant, she spread her legs to take me in deeper (despite her issues with my penis length), as we both experienced orgasms at the mere mention of the creampie-eating act.

Last weekend after finally getting to our bedroom following a particularly late evening of family activities, we showered in anticipation of a healthy night of oral sex, complete with creampie eating. Laying there on the bed, our bodies naked and fresh, we began talking about sex. I can’t recall what prompted the dialogue, but we started in our intimacy, leaving nothing unspoken. I began to express to Melinda in bold detail, where my interest in eating my semen from her pussy began to manifest. I expressed to her how my desires began to develop when we started to have sex for the purposes of getting her pregnant. When she was finally off birth control and every load of ejaculate (that I was pumping into her) was now for real, the arousal for me was incredible. The idea of my semen being “dirty” or “repulsive” fell away. During that intimacy, I saw my wife’s vulva and envisioned her reproductive organs now as amazing equipment and no longer simply for my pleasure. It was a breakthrough for me!

I began to describe to her about my adolescent masturbatory practices and what I would do with my ejaculate once I achieved orgasm. I described to her my mindset that the liquid was dirty and the act of self-pleasuring was a shameful thing for me – that I had viewed all of those aspects of myself as dirty. We spoke about our premarital sexual encounters (there were so many, it would be impossible to count) with each other. We used to have intercourse as much and whenever possible, but my views on my semen remained the same (keep that stuff away from me!!). When my wife (then girlfriend) gave me oral to completion (OTC), she initially spit my semen out. When she finally started swallowing it, my enjoyment increased, however in neither occasion would I kiss her after my see had filled her mouth (she had to rinse first).

That evening, we also spoke about why I like the idea of continuing intimacy following orgasms (for both of us). It is patently obvious that my wife enjoys and can easily attain multiples and that continuing on after my orgasm is dependent upon my desire and ability – both of which are fueled by possessing the strength and stamina and having enough arousal. I told her that this meant that in order for me to continue on, I would need to set aside any mental barriers (my previous aversion to my cum) and work through the physiological ones. I also mentioned to her that it would be highly arousing for me (and probably her) if she could follow suit and perform oral on me after being inside of her. She has always been resistant to any contact with her fluids and any mention of such an activity (by me) has been met with adamant refusal. When I discussed how aroused she gets when I eat my cum from her and take her to subsequent orgasms, the absolution aspect seemed to melt away and I could see that she was actually thinking on the idea.

The conversation was absolutely uncharted territory for our marriage. Sadly, it has taken us more than two decades to get to this point. Excitedly, we ARE here, breaking free from the past and developing our relationship. As I write this, I recall our teenage phone conversations and how they would last for hours on end. We would engage in lurid discussion after a while, each of us getting considerably aroused. I would stroke my penis as she described what she would do to me. On more than one occasion, my arousal was taken to the point of orgasm and ejaculation. I know that I fought to conceal my finishing from her as I didn’t want her to feel strange about her boyfriend cumming while on the phone. To this day, I doubt that I’ve told her about that (I think that I will have to share this with her to see which direction our present-day sex-talk can be taken!). While I was on active duty, our letter-writing (email didn’t exist as it does for current deployed service personnel) often included vivid details of what our next sexual encounters would be like once I returned from deployment. Fortunately for me, we both saved our letters from that time and reading them today makes for some incredibly titillating reading.

I was very encouraged when my wife said that she would gladly share my semen with me in a heated kiss following my finish in her mouth. I had expressed to her that it was a fantasy of mine to engage in oral cumplay, each of us enjoying my ejaculate after cumming in her mouth. This was a huge communication breakthrough for us!

Laying there naked on the bed, my penis quite clearly communicating my arousal to my wife, I began stroking her body as our conversation was winding down. Similar to the visual queues that I was providing to my wife, I could also see that the subject matter had a profound impact on her. I touched her erect nipples as I began to passionately kiss her. Our lips and tongues fully engaged, my hand eventually slid between her legs to discover the flow of her love juice was in full swing. My heart was aflutter with anticipation, waiting to take in her liquid essence. It was more than obvious that our open and honest talk about our intimacy had a profound impact on her.

Making her way down to my penis, my beautiful wife started in, orally stimulating me. Being extremely aroused already, the sensation was near-overwhelming, Once I settled down and simply enjoyed what she was doing to me with her tongue and lips. As I laid there soaking it all in, my ejaculatory response began to build. Sensing my increased erection and tasting my precum, Melinda began to work harder, caressing my scrotum and testicles. I started to think that she was going to take my load and share it with me…right here and now. The idea of it was getting me even more worked up. My wife kept pursuing my arousal, seemingly intent taking me to an orgasm when she suddenly pulled her mouth off of me, looked me in the eyes with a sheepish smile saying, “Ok! My turn!”

In the time it took for her to change positions and for me to enter her, my arousal abated and I began to gently thrust into her with my penis. At a whisper, our conversation started up again. We started to chat about what we were feeling. My wife was in tune with my arousal sensing that I was building up to the point of no return (PONR). I’d edge my orgasm, letting a few spurts of semen pulse into her already saturated pussy, prompting her to ask, “did you just cum a little bit?” I smiled in response and continued thrusting. Her “normal” pattern had been to demand me ceasing intercourse for fear of my orgasm would end our love-making session. Now, she knew that even if I did go all the way to an orgasm, I was going to spend some quality time with licking her and lapping up my seeping cum.

tumblr_nouzy7xJFw1uohzbto1_400I continued thrusting and edging, depositing burst after burst of cum inside of my wife. Melinda asked me if I would move down and begin taking care of her needs. Thoroughly saturated, I gladly withdrew and positioned myself between her muscular thighs. I paused to take in the sight of my semen and her pussy juices whipped into a heavy froth. My abdomen was alight with the sensation of butterflies in my anticipation of the first taste. I slowly moved in and my wife let out a heavy sigh. Knowing that I filled her with my cum, she asked, “is there a lot?” I had to confess to her that it was a mess and that I was excited as I extended my tongue to her pretty right labia. I moved in an upward motion, licking up a sizable portion. My wife quivered as she was clearly hypersensitive, my tongue tickling her in the process. I moved to the other side to take in another portion. I dropped down to her anus to catch what gravity was trying to take, removing another considerable amount of our mixture. The flavor was overwhelming! Finally, it was going to happen…I inserted my tongue into her pussy opening to extract a huge volume of fluid. Taking it into my mouth, much of it began to run down my chin. My mouth was extremely full, so I wiped the excess onto her clitoris with a fluid motion, swallowing the mouthful I already had.

image (1)After my wife’s first orgasm, she clamored for me to, “get inside” her immediately. Of course, I was compelled to oblige. As she was so wet from her juices, my cum and saliva, I easily slid straight into her very sensitive pussy. I was in so fast and deep, that my wife let out a deep moan of both pain and pleasure. I had to be mindful of my depth as I began thrusting. As I stroked, I realized that I was only going to be able to sustain a rhythm for a few minutes. In her heightened state of arousal, she began to experience small, but enjoyable climaxes in succession as the head of my penis massaged the upper wall of her pussy. The pressure inside of me was mounting as I felt the ejaculatory response building and so, slowed to release a spurt or two of semen. I was able to continue on as my wife told me to just let go. As I resisted the urge, she began to make demands. “I want you to cum inside me!” she exclaimed. I told her that I was about to cum and reminded her that I was going to lick it all up afterward. That was enough to send her reeling. She began to have yet another orgasm which, in turn, sent me over the edge as I began to fire, round after round of semen shots inside of her.

I rested in her arms while my penis was still inside of Melinda. I lifted up slightly and smiled at her. She knew that I was bent on cleaning her up and giving her yet another orally-stimulated orgasm. Before I entered the refractory let-down period, I withdrew and again moved down for another round of licking her pussy. This time, the fluid that was emanating from her pussy was clearly and almost entirely from me. the load was thick and translucent white and was beginning to emerge from her opening. I began to lick her labia while awaited the large portion to exit from her. When it did, I sucked it into my mouth. The warmth was tremendous. The thick and creamy consistency was delightful. The flavor was rather enjoyable. To date, this was the largest volume of my semen that I had ever held in my mouth and it was amazing. The bland flavor was subtle and possessed a hint of cauliflower and sweet. Upon swallowing it, I could also pick up a hint of my wife’s essence in the aftertaste and it was all entirely amazing. Inserted my tongue into her pussy to retrieve what was left and enjoyed the small serving before I moved up to stimulate Melinda’s clitoris.

We continued on for another set of orgasms, my wife first followed another one for my inside of her. As the hour was late and we were both spent, I sadly left the second, smaller load untouched. My wife and I cleaned up and prepared for one of the most wonderfully peaceful nights of rest either of us had in a long time. Our minds and our bodies cleared by the evening’s activities. Open and honest communication about intimacy was now achievable without the risk of pressure, hurt feelings or unnecessary expectations. The idea of talking about sex and sharing our desires is an important facet of our relationship – one that has clearly been sorely absent from our marriage. We are just beginning and the future looks quite bright for us, leaving me with the feeling that we are staring afresh with a lifetime ahead of us.

I am considerably more excited with the prospect of what our future holds rather than dwelling on what we could have experienced had we stated this sooner.

Double Agony

Away from me and distant from my bed, Paul was on yet another business trip. His career and colleagues in Boston held his attention while my bed at home was empty. This was a time when his career was really starting to take off and his current position kept him on the road quite a lot as he met with leaders of the different office locations within his company. Though it had been years since he served, my husband’s time on the road was dredging up the memories of incessant longing that I had for him during each of his military deployments or when he was gone for lengthy maneuvers. On this night, I was so hungry for him.

Away from me and distant from my bed, Paul was on yet another business trip. His career and colleagues in Boston held his attention while my bed at home was empty. This was a time when his career was really starting to take off and his current position kept him on the road quite a lot as he met with leaders of the different office locations within his company. Though it had been years since he served, my husband’s time on the road was dredging up the memories of incessant longing that I had for him during each of his military deployments or when he was gone for lengthy maneuvers. On this night, I was so hungry for him.

In a text to Paul, I told him of my longing and that the next four days would be agony in his absence. Less than 15 minutes later, I received a text. No words. Just a picture. The fly of his suit trousers was lowered and his gorgeous cock was jutting out. His erection so firm and long, it would have torn through the fabric.  I needed to feel him. I needed to feel his warm length inside of me. The vision of his flesh was so overpowering. All that I could think about was feeling him…


I have learned to be very secure in my marriage and I have a lot of trust in my husband. To say that I am not bothered or concerned about other women in Paul’s life would be a lie, though I know that his heart is very true. He is brutally honest and discloses everything to me. At the same time, Paul has a hard time recognizing when a woman makes a pass at him, mistaking their flirtatious behavior as “just being friendly.” He has a huge heart, but since we have been together for so long, I think he is rather oblivious to their advances. Perhaps it is simply that he can compartmentalize that side of him, keeping intimacy, arousal and sexual excitement entirely reserved for me.

When he travels, one of his team members and his manager travel with him. Both of them are incredibly gorgeous women. In social settings that I have been party to, I have watched the flirting increase in concert with the alcohol flow. Typically, Paul doesn’t have more than one drink so his inhibitions and resistance to his colleagues’ flirting is very strong. But when he is on the road, I am left to wonder what either of the two women might try with him. For the most part, I am confident in my trust in Paul and I find that their attraction and flirts to be somewhat exciting (I don’t like it when women do this with me next to him – it makes me feel entirely overlooked or disregarded). Paul is an attractive man and it makes me feel very sexy to know that my husband is desired but he has given himself to me.


…my kids were out of the house for a few hours and  I was alone, staring at a gorgeous picture of my husband’s erect manhood. My mouth watered as I imagined the head of his cock touching my lips. I could make out Paul’s scent in my mind picturing my tongue reaching out to touch the drop of dew that was forming on the tip. My mind wandered to the drawer of my nightstand to retrieve my favorite toy. I couldn’t stop sensing the warmth of his cock. I walked to the bathroom, turned on the faucet to warm the soft silicone skin. I held my phone in hand, staring and daydreaming about Paul’s penis, waiting for the temperature to rise to meet my own.

I grabbed my warm toy and with phone in hand, laid down on the bed and wrestled off my jeans. The butterflies in my stomach had my body alight. I was emotionally conflicted: I was missing Paul terribly and I was aroused by the image of his magnificent cock. My right hand slid beneath the waistband of my panties. I began to rub my clitoris – I could feel that I was already soaked and decided to slide out of my underwear altogether. My toy was still warm from the hot water in the bathroom and I brushed it across my the outer lips of my kitty. The warmth of the silicone was equal to mine and I was instantly thinking of Paul’s cock. I turned on the switch to get the vibration started and started to work in into my pussy.

The pulsating pattern was my preference and the sensations immediately got the blood flowing in my labia, causing the tissue to swell. As Paul would say, I was getting engorged. I pushed again feeling no resistance inside of me. I hadn’t bothered with lube (I seldom need any) so there was no hesitation for the toy to slid the rest of the way inside of me leaving me gasping to catch my breath. I wanted to close my eyes, but Paul’s cock was so inviting and my stare was fixed upon him. The rabbit part of my vibrator made sweet contact with my clit – it landed perfectly! The feeling sent a wave of sensation akin to a sweet gust of wind with an overwhelming scent of white ginger, I was taken aback. “Paul!” I cried out.

The sweet feelings were crippling me. I was paralyzed by the cascading vibrations. I was fixating on the lines, the shape, the head and texture – the veins of Paul’s cock drawing me to him. My left hand began to send the vibrator plunging into me. My hips widened and the sexy wet sounds of the vibrator colliding with the soft folds of my pussy. I was being drawn away from my body with each delicious collision. I was caught in the riptide of pleasure. I felt myself drowning in the sensual pleasure! Never having given myself an orgasm, I was gaining confidence that this was THE time. It was happening! I was letting go of every one of my senses. I was letting go of all control in anticipation, feeling my vibrator and seeing Paul’s cock!  I began to let a whisper develop to a low hum. My vocal chords made no sound but in my mind, my voice was building to a crescendo as the thought formed, “I’m cum….!” My hand was on fire in a second. The picture on my phone instantly changed to Paul’s handsome face. “Where’s his cock? What is happening?”

My hand holding the phone was vibrating along with the dido in my pussy. I was disoriented for a moment when I realized that Paul was calling me, his timing was utterly impeccable.  I moved my finger to accept his call.  My orgasm was gone – my first was not coming to me on this night. I didn’t have the heart to tell him what happened.

After we spoke and said our “goodnights” to each other, mind began to wander. How did he have an opportunity to snap a picture of his erect penis and send it to me with such quick turnaround when he was at dinner with his colleagues? What an emotional turnaround.

#NSFW Work, Play, Sex? Or is it Sex, Work, Play?

The scent was familiar. I felt like I was hit on the head to the point of unconsciousness. My brain was lagging behind my body. I could feel a delicate touch on my neck. Softness. Moist tenderness.

“Wake up, Paul”

The scent was familiar. I felt like I was hit on the head to the point of unconsciousness. My brain was lagging behind my body. I could feel a delicate touch on my neck. Softness. Moist tenderness.

“Wake up, Paul”


The life of a parents of very active teens and tweens is not something that flows along with relative ease. Recalling the days of being extremely fatigued when our children were merely toddlers and infants and the idea that before long, these needy and incredibly dependent people would be older, possess the ability to take care of their basic daily functions (getting dressed, bathing,  dental hygiene, etc.)  affording my wife and I a bit more time to enjoy each other’s companionship, I now realize that I grossly underestimated their time demands.

Our children lead active individual lives which means that both my wife and I are running them around to various activities and events. In addition, Melinda and I are busy juggling workout and training schedules and aligning our own athletic endeavors while trying to mesh them with those of our kids. Factor in work and school schedules, the work that I bring home and my children’s home work, music lessons, etc. and one has to wonder how much time is left over for all of the other needs – house keeping, maintenance of our home, vehicles, etc. Our family life is not that different from most. One has to wonder what time, if any, remains for my wife and me to be intimate. Time isn’t the only question mark.

Exercise is very important to both Melinda and me.  We both participate in athletic competitions throughout the year which requires dedication to aggressive training schedules. I spend two-three hours, five days per week and one additional day (when weather permits) with 4-6 hours of exercise. My wife’s events are different and don’t require as rigorous of a training regimen. Regardless, we both expend a lot of energy and effort. At the end of our day we are left living on reserves (we are tired and lacking energy) and when we shut off the lights, sleep comes rather swiftly for Melinda however, the same is not true for me (this is an entirely different story). When do we find time for intimacy?

Our regular readers are by now wondering, “how in the world do you two manage to have so much sex with that sort of schedule?” Asking that question is very fair. Most couples are too exhausted by the time their children go to bed that they just follow suit and prepare for the next day by heading to sleep, themselves. Melinda and I value our alone time once the kids are in their rooms for the evening. We do enjoy unwinding at the end of the evening when our attention is no longer being pulled in four separate directions. There is no more arguing (and subsequent refereeing). The house is quiet. Any normal couple, following such a jam-packed day would be exhausted, and we aren’t any different. Rather than simply shut down, we catch up on more personal matters with adult conversation. We do finally retire to the bedroom with either or both of us detecting the other’s hinting-body language.

Typically, nights like these would end up with us in the throes of passion, our bodies inseparably entwined and complete with heat, sweat and glorious sounds of ecstasy. However, there are some evenings where one of us barely disrobes (following the typical hygienic routines) and is utterly engulfed in sleep, leaving the other left to their own devices (typically, me – since I avoid sleep for as long as possible).


I didn’t know what was going on. My body was already responding to what it was sensing but my mind remained in a distant, frightful place. Haunted by the terror of my past, my dreams violently catapulted me from the comfort of my bed, careening into excruciating and painful memories as vibrant and real as my waking moments.

“Paul!” the voice whispered loudly. I could feel the tender movements across my shoulders. I was being drawn back into the room. The darkened walls of my bedroom and the present day began to take shape around me.

“Melinda?” I responded.

“I want you, sweetie,” she whispered into my ear. “Make love to me!” I could taste her sweet breath as she spoke. My back was exposed to her as she tucked herself in behind me, kissing the back of my neck. Her hand slid down my arm, her hand coming to rest on my hip. My wife’s fingers tugged at the waistband of my boxers before sliding beneath, encroaching.  Melinda pulled her face closer to the side of my head, drawing my earlobe between her lips. I felt the wetness of her tongue dabbing and darting around, her hand continuing into my boxers, tracing my hip and pushing toward my cock.

“MmmmMMm! You’re awake, now! Aren’t you, sweetie?” Melinda whispered. I was sensing her smiling lips as she took pleasure in my rapidly growing erection. I glanced at my clock and noticed the time.

I had less than an hour before my alarm was set to blast me awake and I was engulfed in the embrace and excitement of my wife who was wanting me to give her the pleasure that we missed out on only a few hours previously and there was absolutely no way that I was going to deny her (or myself)….


 

I am very easy to convince and I am not easily set off by lost sleeping opportunities. My wife and I both find ways to ensure that our sexual needs are being met, even at the expense of a few moments of R.E.M. sleep. On this occasion, she rescued me from my damaged subconscious mind, replacing suffering with pleasure (this happens a few times each year). In order to meet our needs, we have to be creative as neither of us does well when too many days (two or more) pass without us having some sort of mutual release.

To what extent are you willing to please your significant other?

Do you go out of your way, to bring him or her pleasure?

I write about serving each other in our marriage (not just intimately, but in all areas) and both Melinda and I live this out everyday in our relationship.