Creampie-Eating: A Woman’s Perspective

What is it about creampie eating that makes some males so excited? Is it the thought that this is truly eating the forbidden fruit: or is it the strong desire to please our ladies? Either way, some men want to eat creampie prior to cumming but most shy away after. This article is about the joy women receive from creampie licking and how to teach your man to get over the creampie blues. Most couples report that their relationship and love making rocket to the next level once the creampie blues are understood and overcome.

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Sometimes, a writer must concede that he or she is not the authority on a topic or in this case, the perspective of a segment of the population of which he or she is not a member. In trying to convey the female perspective on husbands performing cunnilingus on their wives following (penis-in-vagina, or PIV) sex and subsequent ejaculation, I found this attributable article that conveys the message that I have been attempting to deliver to you. While I found the article on the Love Talk Forum (LTF) enlightening, the poster didn’t reveal their source. After several days of searching, I was unable to locate the source of this wonderful message.

I did take some liberty to make minor grammatical and punctuation changes along with some softening of the terms and verbiage to make the post more congruent with the rest of the The Essence of Making Love blog content. I have provided a link to the source (on the LTF) to give access to those of you who prefer the raw, unfiltered text.

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Source: Love Talk Forum (disbanded)
Thread title: Oral sex after sex. I’ve been getting these questions about creampies
Original Author: Unknown
Date Posted: 5 October 2010

What is it about creampie eating that makes some males so excited? Is it the thought that this is truly eating the forbidden fruit: or is it the strong desire to please our ladies? Either way, some men want to eat creampie prior to cumming but most shy away after. This article is about the joy women receive from creampie licking and how to teach your man to get over the creampie blues. Most couples report that their relationship and love making rocket to the next level once the creampie blues are understood and overcome.

The vast majority (99.9%) of men, an orgasm is immediately followed by, for lack of a better term, the Post-Orgasm Blues (POB). POB is a very legitimate feeling. It is the feeling you get after orgasm that just makes you want to curl up in a ball and go to sleep, turn the game back on or do anything except think about sex.  You cum and immediately you lose interest in sex for a little while. There’s no escaping it. POB is a physiological response caused by cascading hormones in your brain. You have little to no control over (without training and encouragement).

The orgasmic cycle and POB physiological response is described (source):

An orgasm (sexual climax) is the conclusion of the plateau phase of the sexual response cycle and may be experienced by both males and females. Orgasm is characterized by intense physical pleasure, controlled by the involuntary, or autonomic, nervous system. It is accompanied by quick cycles of muscle contraction in the lower pelvic muscles, which surround the primary sexual organs and the anus. Orgasms are often associated with other involuntary actions, including muscular spasms in other areas of the body, a general euphoric sensation, and frequently, vocalizations. 

Post orgasm is often experienced as relaxing, which is attributed to the release of prolactin. Male and female brains demonstrate similar changes during orgasm, with brain scans showing a temporary reduction in the activity of large parts of the cerebral cortex. Sexual drive is greatly reduced after orgasm. 

Prolactin (PRL) or Luteotropic hormone (LTH) is a peptide hormone primarily associated with lactation. In breastfeeding, the act of an infant suckling the nipple stimulates the production of prolactin, which fills the breast with milk via a process called lactogenesis, in preparation for the next feed. Oxytocin, another hormone, is also released, which triggers milk let-down. 

In the heat of passion he think he wants to clean out your vagina, but it’s easier said than done because POB can be pretty powerful. Biology trumps desire almost every time.

And let’s forget about the homophobic angle here while we’re on the subject of creampies, shall we? Since when is cunnilingus a homosexual activity (well, unless you’re a lesbian–but that’s another post). I’m not saying that creampies aren’t out there on the fringe – but there’s certainly nothing homosexual about them. Eating a creampie might make him kinky, submissive, or even a little humiliated but it doesn’t make him gay. It makes him a better lover.

So…is it possible to train your man to defeat POB and eat creampie? That’s a good question. You and your partner will be happy to hear the answer is a definite YES. The effects of POB can be overcome. Your brain can be taught to do anything it naturally says “no” to. It takes practice, encouragement, understanding and the most important thing, desire. Not all men have the desire, but if you are with a man who has a desire to eat creampie then you owe it to yourself and him to overcome the POB’s because your sex life and that of your partner will be greatly improved. Consider yourselves one of the lucky ones. Creampie eating is one of the closest, trusting experiences any couple can do. Once he overcome the blues you will want to make it part of your lovemaking routine. Most women say they wished there men had confided in them years ago.

Here are a few proven ways for beating the post-orgasm blues. Most females take to these suggestions quickly and normally report that they take an active role in being the initiators in sex. A female’s sex drive is much higher than that of a male so your frequency will increase dramatically. After all, practice makes perfect. Also, most women report enjoying the feeling of control they are have over their partners. Because of this, creampie-eating will become a constant part of your sexual repertoire.

  • Just do it. This sounds simple, but caving in to POB really is largely mental. If someone rang a fire alarm right after he came, he could muster the energy to get out alive and maybe even spare some energy to put on clothes. He is not in coma, so snap him out of it and have him clean you. You know he has a strong desire and now it’s your turn to cum.
  • Consider creampie eating part of lovemaking, the middle part. Part of the problem for him is an orgasm is a nice stopping place, like a period to a sentence. If you considered it a comma, you would just go on. If he is able to make you cum first, you always had to keep your sexual drive high enough to let him do his deed. Now is the time to change that. When he cums, its your turn, have him slide down as if you are ready for the next phase in a continuous lovemaking medley and you are not done yet.With this attitude, you can keep going all night. Ladies – here is where you can truly take an active part in coaching your man. Men who have a desire to eat creampie, already love cunnilingus. Take charge and have him lick your vulva. Get hot and get wet but do not let your orgasm come. Have the discipline to stop him and tell him to enter you and thrust inside of you hard and deep. After he releases insist that it is your turn and push him south. Not only do you get to enjoy and orgasm (or two), but you will be squeaky clean.
  • Change up the times of that you make love. If you always have intimacy at night, he (and you) will already be tired before you begin. The POB just adds to his exhaustion and he drop happily into sleep. Why not try a “nooner” or a “wake-me-up?” His energy level will still be high and he will have a better chance of defeating the dreaded POB.
  • Why not take a rest? Who says that ten seconds after his last ejaculation spurt that he needs to be heading south? Spend a minute, two minutes, ten or fifteen — whatever it takes! — then slide down. OK, so you will have drained a little but that’s ok. Collect any leakage and place it on your clitoris. You don’t want to make a mess and you sure don’t want him to miss any of his treat. This also allows for more excitement for you. Make him lick your fingers clean while he is taking a rest. I also suggest that you shave. It makes cleaning up  your vulva easier and (most) men love the “clean” look. Besides, trying to lick clean matted pubic hair is almost impossible.Talk it over with him. This desire has been around for years. He has confided with you a very personal wish. Let him know your feelings and you love the idea of him licking you clean. That alone can resolve emotional issues such as embarrassment that masquerade as POB. Tease him by telling him “your going to lick me clean tonight”. This will keep both of your sexual excitement high. Take him by the hand and say, “time for your creampie” and lead him off to the bedroom when he least expects it. No more just watching TV all night. Also give him encouragement, which can be helpful. Tell him you’re going to sit on his face afterward. When he is down there licking you clean, talk to him:“That’s it honey, lick me clean!”
    “Isn’t this what you wanted?”
    “It feels great!”
  • Give it a practice run. Have him thrust inside you for a little while and then lick you a little. Thrust some more, lick some more. Keep it up, and after he cums, it is just another part of the cycle.
  • Ladies – treat this like basketball tryouts; that something this good is worth fighting for! Make him earn a position on the bench. Be his coach. Coaching is about verbal instructions, lots of reinforced behavior change, being tough, caring, aiming for perfection and practice, practice, practice. If you feel semen running down the crack of your bottom, tell him that he is missing some and make sure he licks it up. I suggest in the early stages of overcoming his POB, make him clean you out as often as you can. When I was training my husband he ate me out 2 times/day. Once in the morning and sometime during the day. That lasted a week. After that, we settled into a regular pattern and because of that, he became a pro. But even professionals need practice. I still surprise him when he least expects it. Such as 20 minutes before we need to leave for his mother’s house for dinner. But spontaneity and surprises are fun.
  • Last but definitely not least, collect and save his semen from the night before. Have him collect it in a glass and kept it fresh in the fridge. The next night, prior to heading to bed poured it all over your vulva. When he goes down (prior to POD), he is greeted with day old creampie. It is a fantastic training method, but once you are trained, semen (like bread) is much better when freshly made than day old.

Ladies treat your man’s desire as a gift. You have an opportunity to take control in your sexual activities. There are women in this world who have never experienced an orgasm. You are blessed with a man who has a unique desire that needs to be embraced and developed. Having a man lick your vulva is one thing, but teaching him to love eating creampie, gives you a very special position of authority in love making. Generally, you are in control. You are the last one to cum and you no longer leak all over the place. Enjoy your new found role in love-making. Good luck and don’t take “no” for an answer. In no time flat your lover will be enjoying himself and, rest assured that you both will be.

If your lover finds this desire of yours to be a turn on or even just as tolerable, you (both) are in for a radical change. You will be fulfilling your desire more than you ever dreamed. Most couples report a ten-fold increase in their love-making because she loves her new role in the bedroom and feels there is a lot of catching up to do.

 

Letting Go of Ourselves and Pressing Into Our Relationship and Intimacy

Love Making

Have you ever had one of those conversations with your spouse, partner or lover about what the depth of your love could enable you to achieve? Have you given thought to what sorts of feats you would accomplish to demonstrate the love you have for the other? Have you considered what barriers or obstacles that you could blow through in order to span a measure of the distance to demonstrate to him or her what extent you are willing to travel for them?

Obviously, with a blog title of The Essence of Love-Making and the subject matter that lies within, there is one very erotic action that would be raised as one of the questions that I referred to in the previous paragraph (more on this particular question later). What are the barriers that preclude us from demonstrating absolute comfort with our partner? Melinda and I considered that we could make this more specific…does your love compel you to do things that you would ordinarily view as being “gross?”

I find myself increasingly laying down what was once uncomfortable (or, gross, if that term works better for you) in favor of wanting to not let my own inhibitions stand in the way of my affection.  Let me list a few of examples below along with how I now (or desire) to respond.

  1. Deep, passionate kisses first thing in the morning (forsaking morning breath). If we both have morning breath, why does it matter? Kiss away! Kiss freely!!
  2. Full contact, bodies pressed together, hugs when she is sweaty from a workout. Unless I am wearing a suit and preparing to head out for some other special occasion, I will hug her. If she is finishing an athletic event (running race, triathlon, etc.), you had better believe that I am going to hug her in celebration! The question is, does (or will) she hug me?
  3. Making love after a full day (i.e., not showering before intimacy). I know that some couples (especially depending upon what sort of work either does) will absolutely avoid physical contact until after their bodies are clean. Unless I have been out camping for three days, I have no problem with getting our bodies together for passionate sex without a shower. If we both are days without a shower, it truly doesn’t matter.
  4. Oral sex without an immediately prior shower. (see #3). I do enjoy her fragrance and I have no issues with being “down there,” especially if the intimacy is spontaneous and uncontrollable. My natural inclination is to head south no matter what and give her all the pleasure that she desires and can handle.
  5. Kissing after oral sex. For me, this is an absolute no hesitation move. If she goes down on me and takes me to completion, not only would I not resist her kiss, but I need her to kiss me! The same is true for the roles to be reversed. After I pleasure her, I am going to kiss her deeply. Our love fluids are no longer a roadblock for me – instead, they are an on-ramp to the next intimacy freeway!
  6. Wake-up sex following a previous evening of sex. This isn’t a consideration for me. Of course I am ready for sex first thing in the morning. I do like the messy nature of it all and to be with her through all of that is heavenly!
  7. Wake-up oral sex. By now, these situations seem silly. Why would I not go down? I want to wake her up with oral!!
  8. Oral sex following penetrative (i.e. intercourse). Again, this is ridiculous considering the nature of my blog and what I absolutely enjoy doing. It went from a goal to something that is a facet of making love. A means to take intimacy to new levels.
  9. Wake-up oral sex after a prior evening of sex. This is something that I have never tried nor experienced. The idea is sexy yet there needs to be a measure of intimate trust that will allow for me to do this. Does she trust me with her body? Would she let herself be vulnerable to my oral desires? I want to experiment with this one day.

There are other, less physically sexual, yet no less sensual expressions that come to mind. Sharing food from the same utensil? How about the ultimate in food sharing…biting from the same apple (a la Adam and Eve)? What comes to your mind? What do you see yourself doing or wanting your other half to do?

Reader Post: His Quickness Inadvertently Breaks (them both) Through a Roadblock

“To start off, I was never afraid of my own semen and I occasionally eat it during/after masturbating. The day I ate my girlfriend’s creampie was one of those days when I ejaculated prematurely inside her.”

In response to our multi-part article (see below) that addressed coupled overcoming roadblocks and taboos that specifically surround post-PIV-orgasm cunnilingus, we asked our readers if they would like to share their experiences in order to further encourage others to be bold with their intimacy.

Rok of Terrier 2016 responded to our call for personal experiences within minutes of our publishing of Part II and we are certainly glad that he did. As you’ll see in his narrative, going down on his girlfriend licking her creampie wasn’t something that he gave much forethought to. We’ll let him tell you his story:

“To start off, I was never afraid of my own semen and I occasionally eat it during/after masturbating. The day I (first) ate my girlfriend’s creampie was one of those days when I ejaculated prematurely inside her. Hey, it happens to the best of us, fortunately only once every couple of months!

After finishing inside her and my orgasm subsided, she asked me if I could bring her to orgasm as well. We continued with oral sex, more precisely I was eating her out and as usual, I swallowed all of her juices that she produced, this time some of them were mine as well. I was used to the taste and liked it, but then I realized I did officially eat my girlfriend’s creampie! Soon after, she did reach orgasm and later we both laughed off my off day.”

Blowing Past the Roadblocks and Extending Intimacy (Part II)

Male physiological response to orgasm and ejaculation is, for the most part, carved into stone. However, there are ways to push beyond the physical limitations but, like wheeling a large ship, the rudders take time to respond to the helm commands.

In Part I of this topic, I covered a handful of the roadblocks that couples (husbands in particular) encounter, preventing them from reaching beyond the gravitational bonds of routine and vanilla intimacy. As one of my friends suggests, the “one and done” mindset (meaning, a single orgasm for one or both spouses) during intimacy can become the norm for far too many marriages without any awareness or realizations that they have become mired in a sexual rut. Like Burt Reynolds’ character (Bandit) in the film, Smokey and the Bandit, I have been bursting through those roadblocks like a 1978 Trans Am running from Sheriff Buford T. Justice.

My hope is that what I am covering today in Part II will provide you with the motivation, excitement and high octane fuel for my readers to blow through each barricade with the accelerator pedal pushed to the floor and through it. I only ask of my readers that they take into consideration that what worked (and is working) for me, may not bring you the same success or, if it does, not in the same timing. The two-most important tools to breaking through are patience and communication.

Overcoming body chemistry limitations
Male physiological response to orgasm and ejaculation is, for the most part, carved into stone. However, there are ways to push beyond the physical limitations but, like wheeling a large ship, the rudders take time to respond to the helm commands. We have to lighten the load, so to speak, in order to make the vessel more responsive. We can’t be dragging an anchor in the water or have a tow-line attached to a ore-laden barge while trying to maneuver as a speedy, nimble frigate.

Stowe the Anchor
What are you dragging that you could retract? Some of us men have challenges with our semen.  In my experience, I had a semen avoidance problem. Though, in my fantasies, I wanted to perform oral on my wife after I ejaculated inside of her, I couldn’t get passed being squeamish around my ejaculate. I had to slowly walk myself through this process. Having made the decision to eat my creampies, first, I masturbated to the point where my penis began emitting precum. From there, I had to start sampling this liquid in order to get an idea of what my cum tasted like. After several sessions (over the course of a few months off and on), I was masturbating to full ejaculation (and orgasm) into my hand and sampling from the large deposit. It still took some time before I could take the entire load into my mouth.

(Note: Squeamish folks may want to skip past this paragraph.) In order to take all of my ejaculate, I thought that it would be easier if I could take it straight from the tap. Being fairly flexible and athletic, one day, I began working my penis and the thought occurred to me that I could contort my body to get the head of my penis close to my mouth when I got close to the point of orgasm. When I felt the pressure rise, I opened my mouth and fired away. Most of my load (at least a tablespoon+) shot and drizzled into my mouth while some deposited onto my chin. I swirled (what was then, the largest amount of my cum that I have had in my mouth) the sweet and salty, warm substance around to get a good idea of it and then swallowed it down. I now knew full well what my wife had been enjoying (yes, she tells me that she loves my product) for years. That roadblock is firmly and resoundingly smashed. Having broken through, I no longer masturbate to eat my semen as I have progressed.

Crank up the Engines for Increased Maneuverability
I am as stubborn as they come and when it comes to breaking through these obstacles, I move slowly. If you understand basic seamanship, you know that adding speed along with rudder changes makes the vessel respond quickly and much more nimble. Not happy with my successive failures in achieving my creampie eating objectives, I determined that I might have better success if I could fill my wife with semen without experiencing full orgasmic ejaculations. During sexual stimulation and arousal, men experience small releases of seminal fluids that serve to lubricate the vagina. In layman’s terms, this is known as precum. However, this dribble of fluid would hardly serve to saturate my wife’s vagina to the point where I’d be happy having eaten a creampie. No, I had to take a different approach.

Throughout our sexual relationship, I have gained awareness of the pressure buildup that is the precursor to orgasm. In many intercourse sessions, in my attempts to prolong the enjoyment for both my wife and me, as I felt the impending point of no return, I could stop thrusting to avoid orgasm. In doing so, I would release an amount of ejaculate that was quite similar to what I achieved when releasing a full orgasm. Recommencing thrusting, I could feel the obvious flood of semen that was now present inside my wife. This process is what I term as “edging.” Armed with this knowledge, I thought that rather than try to wait until after I had an orgasm, I could spend some time having penis-in-vagina (PIV) intercourse, ejaculate into my wife via edging, then move down for some delightfully sloppy cunnilingus.  After a few times of edging and subsequent pie-eating, the mental block begins to decay.

My Sails are Unfurled, But the Air is Calm There is nothing quite like dead air when your ship is trying to make way. You have no power to move and obviously, there is no power to change your course. You’re stuck, dead in the water (DIW). In my previous two methods of breaking through the roadblocks, I have addressed to proven methods to overcome some specific challenges that are rooted more in the mental arena. This method is used to overcome a physical challenge that can arise when attempting to use the edging technique.

In the midst of PIV intercourse, you sense the rise of pressure as you are heading to eminent orgasm. As you become aware, of the impending moment, you decide that you want to shut off the orgasm before you reach the PONR only to find that you are physically incapable of doing so successfully. Suddenly, your penis is throbbing as spurt after spurt of semen is flinging amazingly into your wife’s vagina. The inevitable happens again as your loss of desire in eating her creampie rears up once again. Dead in the water.

This happened to me on so many occasions that I’d be better served counting the hairs on my thickly-covered scalp than to tally the numbers of failed attempts to control my ejaculations. I read some information about premature ejaculation and incontinence (not that I suffer from either of these very devastating conditions) while keying in on the idea that one can shut off the flow of ejaculation. Kegel exercises can help with many aspects of male (and female) sex organ health. For me, they have helped me to gain absolute control over my ejaculatory response.

I have an app on my Android phone that helps me keep on track with my exercises. I am prompted to work out my PC muscle 3-4 times a day, adhering to the strict repetitions and intervals of each set. The results are downright amazing. In just a few days of exercising, I could shut down the orgasm while my ejaculations occurred. Today, I can edge 3-4 times (each edge produces 3-5 spurts of semen) which leaves a considerable amount of fluids inside my wife.

All Engines Ahead Full!  Communication is imperative in navigating a ship. The coordination of information between the navigation plotters, the folks shooting visual bearings, the ship’s conning officer and the helmsman is a delicate, yet deliberate dance of oral interaction and actions. Without the direct flow of information, chaos ensues and the ship can stand into danger.

The same principle applies in the bedroom. The single most effective method in overcoming barriers in this creampie quest that propelled me the furthest and fastest was communication. When I finally realized that my bride who loved me and honored me as her husband would harbor no ill thoughts toward me when I told her about my desires. Once I fully understood that my deepest, most erotic thoughts were safe with her (and hers with me), I knew that we would be able to enjoy so much more during our sexual intimacy.

I told Melinda initially (about my desire to lick her cum-soaked vulva) while I was in the midst of thrusting during intercourse. Her immediate escalation of arousal was an obvious sexual response, but it wasn’t in the realm of her consciousness yet. I had to do that during an authentically open dialog in the proper context (she can’t talk about sex unless she’s already thinking about it). At first, her reaction was lacking enthusiasm, however the more she considered it, the more she liked the idea. Since then, she is very encouraging and prepares us both for my creampie eating session.

There are certainly other methods that folks have employed in overcoming these barriers. While those I described are what I used, there are, perhaps others that some of you want to share. I also know that there are women out there who desire for their husbands to do this, but as of yet, haven’t bothered to propose it to them due to a myriad of concerns that could result in rejection.

If you have taken the lead in overcoming any roadblocks in the pursuit of creampie eating (either as a giver or recipient), we would love to hear what has worked for you!

Communicating About Sex: Almost as Good as Sex Itself!

Seldom, if ever, are there awkward moments of silence where either of us is left struggling for something to talk about. Sitting on the couch with the television off, we can talk for hours as the subject matter meanders about and our participatory emotions can run through the entire spectrum. When we’re together on a road trip, sharing in mutual interests as we dive into various aspects and details of what is on our mind, occupies the airspace. However, there are some areas and topics that were truly never discussed in any sort of depth. By now, you might be wondering what any of this has to do with me enjoying making and tasting our creampies?

One of the single-most exciting aspects of my pursuit of growth in our intimacy has to be the breakthrough in communication that Melinda and I are experiencing. Talking about sex in a very abstract, impersonal sense has never been a challenge for my wife and I. We can talk about the cultural issues, social downfalls and various other perspectives without hesitation. But, when we begin to encroach upon our personal sexual intimacy, our wants and desires in particular, we have historically stayed as far away from any conversational depth.

As I have progressed from a man who refused any sort of oral contact with his semen to one who gladly tastes and eats it (during intimacy with my wife), I am just now starting to scratch the surface of open dialogue with my wife about my intimacy fantasies and desires with her. What began as simple innuendo and subtle inferences is slowly transitioning to frank and open discussion. The ice-breaker for me was an evening, while engaged in intercourse, as I was thrusting inside of Melinda, her pussy already filled with my cum, I told her that I was going to go back down to taste her and my cum. In an instant, she spread her legs to take me in deeper (despite her issues with my penis length), as we both experienced orgasms at the mere mention of the creampie-eating act.

Last weekend after finally getting to our bedroom following a particularly late evening of family activities, we showered in anticipation of a healthy night of oral sex, complete with creampie eating. Laying there on the bed, our bodies naked and fresh, we began talking about sex. I can’t recall what prompted the dialogue, but we started in our intimacy, leaving nothing unspoken. I began to express to Melinda in bold detail, where my interest in eating my semen from her pussy began to manifest. I expressed to her how my desires began to develop when we started to have sex for the purposes of getting her pregnant. When she was finally off birth control and every load of ejaculate (that I was pumping into her) was now for real, the arousal for me was incredible. The idea of my semen being “dirty” or “repulsive” fell away. During that intimacy, I saw my wife’s vulva and envisioned her reproductive organs now as amazing equipment and no longer simply for my pleasure. It was a breakthrough for me!

I began to describe to her about my adolescent masturbatory practices and what I would do with my ejaculate once I achieved orgasm. I described to her my mindset that the liquid was dirty and the act of self-pleasuring was a shameful thing for me – that I had viewed all of those aspects of myself as dirty. We spoke about our premarital sexual encounters (there were so many, it would be impossible to count) with each other. We used to have intercourse as much and whenever possible, but my views on my semen remained the same (keep that stuff away from me!!). When my wife (then girlfriend) gave me oral to completion (OTC), she initially spit my semen out. When she finally started swallowing it, my enjoyment increased, however in neither occasion would I kiss her after my see had filled her mouth (she had to rinse first).

That evening, we also spoke about why I like the idea of continuing intimacy following orgasms (for both of us). It is patently obvious that my wife enjoys and can easily attain multiples and that continuing on after my orgasm is dependent upon my desire and ability – both of which are fueled by possessing the strength and stamina and having enough arousal. I told her that this meant that in order for me to continue on, I would need to set aside any mental barriers (my previous aversion to my cum) and work through the physiological ones. I also mentioned to her that it would be highly arousing for me (and probably her) if she could follow suit and perform oral on me after being inside of her. She has always been resistant to any contact with her fluids and any mention of such an activity (by me) has been met with adamant refusal. When I discussed how aroused she gets when I eat my cum from her and take her to subsequent orgasms, the absolution aspect seemed to melt away and I could see that she was actually thinking on the idea.

The conversation was absolutely uncharted territory for our marriage. Sadly, it has taken us more than two decades to get to this point. Excitedly, we ARE here, breaking free from the past and developing our relationship. As I write this, I recall our teenage phone conversations and how they would last for hours on end. We would engage in lurid discussion after a while, each of us getting considerably aroused. I would stroke my penis as she described what she would do to me. On more than one occasion, my arousal was taken to the point of orgasm and ejaculation. I know that I fought to conceal my finishing from her as I didn’t want her to feel strange about her boyfriend cumming while on the phone. To this day, I doubt that I’ve told her about that (I think that I will have to share this with her to see which direction our present-day sex-talk can be taken!). While I was on active duty, our letter-writing (email didn’t exist as it does for current deployed service personnel) often included vivid details of what our next sexual encounters would be like once I returned from deployment. Fortunately for me, we both saved our letters from that time and reading them today makes for some incredibly titillating reading.

I was very encouraged when my wife said that she would gladly share my semen with me in a heated kiss following my finish in her mouth. I had expressed to her that it was a fantasy of mine to engage in oral cumplay, each of us enjoying my ejaculate after cumming in her mouth. This was a huge communication breakthrough for us!

Laying there naked on the bed, my penis quite clearly communicating my arousal to my wife, I began stroking her body as our conversation was winding down. Similar to the visual queues that I was providing to my wife, I could also see that the subject matter had a profound impact on her. I touched her erect nipples as I began to passionately kiss her. Our lips and tongues fully engaged, my hand eventually slid between her legs to discover the flow of her love juice was in full swing. My heart was aflutter with anticipation, waiting to take in her liquid essence. It was more than obvious that our open and honest talk about our intimacy had a profound impact on her.

Making her way down to my penis, my beautiful wife started in, orally stimulating me. Being extremely aroused already, the sensation was near-overwhelming, Once I settled down and simply enjoyed what she was doing to me with her tongue and lips. As I laid there soaking it all in, my ejaculatory response began to build. Sensing my increased erection and tasting my precum, Melinda began to work harder, caressing my scrotum and testicles. I started to think that she was going to take my load and share it with me…right here and now. The idea of it was getting me even more worked up. My wife kept pursuing my arousal, seemingly intent taking me to an orgasm when she suddenly pulled her mouth off of me, looked me in the eyes with a sheepish smile saying, “Ok! My turn!”

In the time it took for her to change positions and for me to enter her, my arousal abated and I began to gently thrust into her with my penis. At a whisper, our conversation started up again. We started to chat about what we were feeling. My wife was in tune with my arousal sensing that I was building up to the point of no return (PONR). I’d edge my orgasm, letting a few spurts of semen pulse into her already saturated pussy, prompting her to ask, “did you just cum a little bit?” I smiled in response and continued thrusting. Her “normal” pattern had been to demand me ceasing intercourse for fear of my orgasm would end our love-making session. Now, she knew that even if I did go all the way to an orgasm, I was going to spend some quality time with licking her and lapping up my seeping cum.

tumblr_nouzy7xJFw1uohzbto1_400I continued thrusting and edging, depositing burst after burst of cum inside of my wife. Melinda asked me if I would move down and begin taking care of her needs. Thoroughly saturated, I gladly withdrew and positioned myself between her muscular thighs. I paused to take in the sight of my semen and her pussy juices whipped into a heavy froth. My abdomen was alight with the sensation of butterflies in my anticipation of the first taste. I slowly moved in and my wife let out a heavy sigh. Knowing that I filled her with my cum, she asked, “is there a lot?” I had to confess to her that it was a mess and that I was excited as I extended my tongue to her pretty right labia. I moved in an upward motion, licking up a sizable portion. My wife quivered as she was clearly hypersensitive, my tongue tickling her in the process. I moved to the other side to take in another portion. I dropped down to her anus to catch what gravity was trying to take, removing another considerable amount of our mixture. The flavor was overwhelming! Finally, it was going to happen…I inserted my tongue into her pussy opening to extract a huge volume of fluid. Taking it into my mouth, much of it began to run down my chin. My mouth was extremely full, so I wiped the excess onto her clitoris with a fluid motion, swallowing the mouthful I already had.

image (1)After my wife’s first orgasm, she clamored for me to, “get inside” her immediately. Of course, I was compelled to oblige. As she was so wet from her juices, my cum and saliva, I easily slid straight into her very sensitive pussy. I was in so fast and deep, that my wife let out a deep moan of both pain and pleasure. I had to be mindful of my depth as I began thrusting. As I stroked, I realized that I was only going to be able to sustain a rhythm for a few minutes. In her heightened state of arousal, she began to experience small, but enjoyable climaxes in succession as the head of my penis massaged the upper wall of her pussy. The pressure inside of me was mounting as I felt the ejaculatory response building and so, slowed to release a spurt or two of semen. I was able to continue on as my wife told me to just let go. As I resisted the urge, she began to make demands. “I want you to cum inside me!” she exclaimed. I told her that I was about to cum and reminded her that I was going to lick it all up afterward. That was enough to send her reeling. She began to have yet another orgasm which, in turn, sent me over the edge as I began to fire, round after round of semen shots inside of her.

I rested in her arms while my penis was still inside of Melinda. I lifted up slightly and smiled at her. She knew that I was bent on cleaning her up and giving her yet another orally-stimulated orgasm. Before I entered the refractory let-down period, I withdrew and again moved down for another round of licking her pussy. This time, the fluid that was emanating from her pussy was clearly and almost entirely from me. the load was thick and translucent white and was beginning to emerge from her opening. I began to lick her labia while awaited the large portion to exit from her. When it did, I sucked it into my mouth. The warmth was tremendous. The thick and creamy consistency was delightful. The flavor was rather enjoyable. To date, this was the largest volume of my semen that I had ever held in my mouth and it was amazing. The bland flavor was subtle and possessed a hint of cauliflower and sweet. Upon swallowing it, I could also pick up a hint of my wife’s essence in the aftertaste and it was all entirely amazing. Inserted my tongue into her pussy to retrieve what was left and enjoyed the small serving before I moved up to stimulate Melinda’s clitoris.

We continued on for another set of orgasms, my wife first followed another one for my inside of her. As the hour was late and we were both spent, I sadly left the second, smaller load untouched. My wife and I cleaned up and prepared for one of the most wonderfully peaceful nights of rest either of us had in a long time. Our minds and our bodies cleared by the evening’s activities. Open and honest communication about intimacy was now achievable without the risk of pressure, hurt feelings or unnecessary expectations. The idea of talking about sex and sharing our desires is an important facet of our relationship – one that has clearly been sorely absent from our marriage. We are just beginning and the future looks quite bright for us, leaving me with the feeling that we are staring afresh with a lifetime ahead of us.

I am considerably more excited with the prospect of what our future holds rather than dwelling on what we could have experienced had we stated this sooner.

Identifying and Understanding the Roadblocks to Continuing Intimacy (Part I)

For me, the communication barrier is the fear of rejection. My fantasies all involve my wife (meaning I don’t have any thoughts of including others), no public sex, etc. My fantasies aren’t exactly mild, either. But, I don’t easily tell them to my wife. I know that if I have unmentioned fantasies, my wife has some as well.

As one who wanted to gain some insight from husbands who had experienced success in overcoming the post-intercourse orgasm loss of interest and the physiological-mental mandated cessation of intimate activities, I turned to the internet to see what other husbands have dealt with. Sadly, the web is rife with (big shock) pornography and scant few helpful guidance regarding how to actually launch into one’s’ spouse’s semen-saturated vulva.

Wading through the muck, I did find some nuggets of information that are seemingly based in scientific fact. For many men, we have some amazingly well thought out plans for continuing intimacy beyond our orgasm. We imagine out pleased our spouses will be when we can pull out after releasing and commence with another round of cunnilingus. The thought of diving into a pool of our love juices, dominated by our semen, is highly arousing (to many of us) with the desire to bring our lover to another orgasm is highly erotic. For me, the re-hashing my plan as I am thrusting inside of my wife has been such a huge turn-on, that I lose all control and orgasm arrives considerably faster than I had anticipated. The emotional let-down, combined with the post-orgasm interest loss only means that another plan has been laid to waste.

Working against chemistry
I have pondered this (as have many unsatisfied wives, I am certain) for years. Why can’t I just get passed this reflexive response? One doctor asserts that mens’ body chemistry actually changes in the moments following orgasm. Dr. Billy Goldberg (co-author of Why Do Men Fall Asleep After Sex?) asserts, “the biochemical prolactin is released, physically altering his body and making him very tired.” As we are all unique and our bodies respond to stimuli and chemistry differently, some men are, more than likely, less affected by the flood of oxytocin, prolactin, gamma amino butyric acid. This release can affect both the level of sexual interest and arousal as well as the ability to stay erect and awake.

Challenged by temporary increased (near-painful) sensitivity
I suppose that for some, the ability to continue on after a full orgasmic ejaculation is easier than it is for others and there are plenty of anecdotes swirling around the internet that seem, to suggest that. Unfortunately for me, I am firmly in the camp where I really have to force myself and work to continue on, fighting the hypersensitivity that my penis experiences, post-orgasm (some of you men are familiar with the “please stop” requests we make to our wives). For a subset of this group, continued stimulation can be downright painful.

I have read other anecdotes that seem to suggest that with age, this post-orgasm hurdle diminishes somewhat as the penis loses some sensitivity. I can confirm that I have been able to continue onward, more so in the recent years as opposed to in my youth.

Culturally stigmatized
Rtumblr_o32zlwvnZH1v03usjo1_500egardless of the community (secular, faith-based) there are many who are seated firmly within certain camps who view any sort of semen ingestion negatively (regardless if the person tasting the fluid is male or female). Still others look down solely upon a man in disgust when the idea of him taking in his own semen is mentioned. It is also very common for both husband and wife to pursue post-coital clean-up via a shower or a quick wipe down with a towel or tissue (though tissue can make the mess worse…don’t go this route) and discard the liquid product of their lovemaking. Some folks (on various sex discussion forums infer that a man consuming his semen from his wife’s vagina is a homosexual act (which hardly makes sense when husband and wife clearly constitutes a heterosexual couple – for my definition, anyway).

Perhaps the biggest stigma isn’t a spoken or demonstrated one at all. Perhaps the male spouse has inserted his own roadblock (to licking his semen from his wife), imagining his wife’s negative reaction as he moves down to perform cunnilingus on her semen-saturated vulva?

Too little time, too darned tired
In my marriage, both my wife and I have gotten caught in a trap of staying up way too late. After we get the kids to bed, we have a very short window of time for just the two of us to talk an interact as adults. Our kids lead a very active lifestyle as do my wife and I, and so the time for sexual intimacy gets squeezed and encroached upon. I get up well before the sun rises for my job, so simply staying up later for sex, though I am fine with the sex-for-sleep trade, my wife isn’t. On the nights when she still wants to have a little something, it is a quickie or wait for another night.

If I had a dollar for every night that this fragile window of time was shattered by a late night phone call, a kid who chose not to sleep, or a lengthy discussion was started, I would be an extremely wealthy man. If I had all of that money, I would trade it in an instant to have all of those nights of intimacy restored to us.

How do we overcome these roadblocks?
Regardless of the barriers and inhibitions that arise for the man who, with every intention before and during intimacy, has laid plans that this moment is going to be THE moment, fails yet again to carry out the act. The repeated disappointment routine can be maddening and very discouraging while injecting serious difficulties into the marriage bed as the husband never experiences success and is too inhibited to talk about it. This is a very serious concern for marriages. The bottom line in this is that we need to be bold in our marriages. We love and trust each other with so many other aspects of our lives. We are sharing our bodies with each other when we engage in sexual activities. How is it that we don’t share our desires and fantasies with each other? We don’t communicate. Why?

For me, the communication barrier is the fear of rejection. My fantasies all involve my wife (meaning I don’t have any thoughts of including others), no public sex, etc. My fantasies aren’t exactly mild, either. But, I don’t easily tell them to my wife. I know that if I have unmentioned fantasies, my wife has some as well.

Continue to Part II
This is part one of a multi-part series with the goal in mind to de-stigmatize the sharing of sexual fluids between partners. Men and and women both can enjoy the increased arousal and other benefits of post-ejaculation and post-orgasm oral sex.

My Drive, Her Drive and a Pic to Inspire

The text from my wife was a bit of a surprise, “send me a pic of your cock, baby!” It caught me off guard as I sat at the traffic light smiling as I read her words. We seldom sext each other out of concern that our kids would get hold of our phones and discover things that shouldn’t be discovered by them so I was taken aback by her demand. I wondered what was fueling her need to see my cock prior to me getting home.

Traffic was abysmal and I was tired after a long week dealing with difficulties surrounding my current project at work. My mind and body have been under a lot of stress from the concerns in trying to find ways to cut the effort and time to complete the project by more than 1/3. I needed this weekend to start right away and the Friday afternoon commute was getting in the way. Melinda was at home and I could tell that she was getting excited for my return.

The text from my wife was a bit of a surprise, “send me a pic of your cock, baby!” It caught me off guard as I sat at the traffic light smiling as I read her words. We seldom sext each other out of concern that our kids would get hold of our phones and discover things that shouldn’t be discovered by them so I was taken aback by her demand. I wondered what was fueling her need to see my cock prior to me getting home. I wondered what she was doing that had her desirous with such immediacy. The traffic signal changed and I set the phone down. Another traffic light and another request for a photo of my penis was there. I messaged her that I am in traffic and that I didn’t think it was wise for me to risk being seen. She sent a smiley emoticon and repeated her demand. The signal changed and again I proceeded after dropping the phone to the console.

I had one more traffic light to contend with before the lengthy drive on the freeway and Melinda was clearly aroused. I wanted to grant her request and not leave her disappointed. I looked around to see that there were no vehicles waiting at the light that would afford their drivers with opportunity to see into my car. I was very excited to please my wife and my cock was extremely hard. I opened my zipper and noticed the pre-cum was already soaking into my boxers. I reached in and pulled it out, grabbed the phone and snapped a photo for her and sent it. I collected myself and got ready to get on the highway (I put my cock away and set the phone down).

I had more than an hour to listen to music and keep my calm as I made my way home through pockets of stop-and-go and normal highway speeds. I wondered what Melinda was doing and what faced me when I got home. I knew that the kids would be home so the notion that I could walk in and be met by my wife wearing something to accent her gorgeous body (or nothing at all) was merely a fantasy. Earlier that morning, Melinda messaged me that she had been having a conversation with a woman that she met who shared some similar interests as she and was getting acquainted. This person was someone she met online and I reminded her to be very cautious but that I trusted her judgement in talking about us. Considering that we are putting a fair amount of information about our intimate life on this blog, there is some measure of latitude that she already has. I wondered if she was getting excited by the conversations she was having with her new friend.

After nearly two hours on the road, tired and weary, only the beautifully sunny day and the happiness that greeted me at home were on my mind. Melinda was dressed in shorts and a tank that revealed her shape and, if she moved a certain way, hinted at exposing the sides of her breasts. Her ass looked perfect in her shorts and as I pulled her against me for a hello-kiss, both of my hands gently gripped and squeezed her cheeks. I reached my fingers between them near her pussy and felt the heat and damp fabric that gave told me all that I needed to know about her state of arousal. As I suspected, the kids were all home and were happy to see me.

I spent some time catching up with everyone and made my way to the bedroom to change for a workout. I wanted to get it done as soon as possible to be home in time to make dinner with Melinda in hopes of getting the kids to bed so that we could have time together. She accompanied me to the bedroom and closed the door behind us. I began to peel off my shirt and as I did, she came over to me and placed her hands on my chest as my arms were over my head. She unbuckled my belt and unfastened my pants to assist me. She slid my trousers and boxers down in one swift action exposing my cock. “There you are!” she smiled as she wrapped her fingers around and gripping my shaft. She kissed me again, pushing her tongue into my mouth as she stroked my already firm cock. Melinda let go of our kiss and dropped to her knees in front of me.

image (3)“Hi baby,” she whispered to me as she began to lick the head of my cock. “I missed you so much today.”  Melinda took me into her mouth letting out a subtle moan. I was suddenly taken away from all that had happened at the office and the long, grueling drive home. My wife was loving me and loving my body giving me pleasure and it was coming from her love and desire for me. I was lost in her desire. Her tongue would run from my balls up the underside of my shaft and to the tip and then she would engulf me with her lips, sliding her mouth down onto me. I reached down and gently held her head, pulling her long brown hair away from the soft skin of her face. I stood there, humbled and vulnerable to the physical love she was giving my body. Her right hand softly cradled my balls as her left hand wrapped around me and caressed my ass.

image (1)Melinda pulled her mouth up and extended her tongue down my shaft again, reaching her head to take one of my testicles into her mouth. She sucked on my ball as she stroked my cock with her hand. She released on ball and sucked the other one in. The pleasure was intense and Melinda was easily and rapidly bringing me closer to cumming. She moaned with each release of pre-cum that she took from me as she intensified her attention to me. There were moments that I felt as though she was hungry and working to reach her own objective. As she sucked and licked me and she was aware of my impending orgasm, Melinda’s finger began pressing against my anus. The sensation was overwhelming and I immediately began pumping my cum into Melinda’s mouth. She took all control of my body and had her way with my pleasure and release. With each wave of pleasure, an synchronized pulse of semen jetted into my beautiful wife’s mouth. My cock’s sensitivity was heightened and the pleasure was so intense that her coinciding suction was almost painful as she met each pulse with eagerness in how she squeezed me with her lips and tongue.

image (2)She rose up and approached my face. She was holding her glistening lips closed but her mouth was full of my semen – so much so that it was trickling down to her chin. She looked deep into my eyes as she pressed her mouth to mine, our lips parted in sync. My mouth was flooded with her tongue and my cum and we kissed passionately. The sweetness surrounded my tongue and doused my taste buds as the cum partially flowed back to her mouth. As we kissed, we both slowly swallowed the creaminess and our tongues playfully intertwined. As she pulled her mouth from mine, I extended my tongue to clean what was running down to her chin. Melinda smiled and looked down towards my cock and quickly went back down.

My legs were weakened and I was out of breath as she cleaned my cock of all remnants of my orgasm from the head and shaft. “I don’t want to waste a single drop, baby” she said with her sly smile. My scalp, chest and arms were perspiring and I felt as though I had a workout before I was even suited up for my ride. “Tonight it is my turn,” she laughed. I knew that whatever my wife had talked about with her new friend, it had a direct impact on her libido and she let go of her fears of the kids hearing us (which is entirely out of character for her).

I recovered for a few moments sitting on the bed. Melinda joined me and I held her close. I looked at her smiling face and knew that she was just whetting both of our appetites for what was to come in a few brief (long) hours. I mustered the strength to dress for my ride as Melinda watched and told me all about her conversation that she had with her new friend (which was rather sexy). I didn’t think that I still possessed the stamina for a hard workout but I defied my body and went ahead with my ride. Grabbing my bicycle, I began to head out being stopped momentarily for a goodbye kiss from Melinda. The scent and taste of cum still present in her kiss, I departed and rode away almost entirely distracted by what she gave to me and what I was about to do for her.