Since Mel brought it up in her last post, Giving Him Fantasies Means that I too, Receive!, I thought that I should continue on with the notion of desires and deep-seated fantasies.
We have been married for years and have been loving each other with increasing passion from the outset of our first meeting. If we were to (foolishly) attempt to compare our intimacy from our first time to what we enjoy together today, it would be mind-blowing. If I possessed any sort of foresight to what we do in bed today, I might have been intimidated. Now, with the talk of fantasies and what we secretly desire, I most certainly would have been riddled with fear.
I have been around most of the world and seen many places (and some very strange customs, behaviors and people). I have traveled with people who had no issues, cares or fears with engaging in the sexual proclivities and entering into acts that are what I would consider to be extremely risky. I have been to bars and nightclubs in far-off lands and seen live sex acts performed a few feet away from a very good live band. Unfortunately, I have witnessed sex acts that included unwilling animals that made my stomach turn (memories that one wished could be bleached, burned or gouged away).
Regardless of where I have traveled, I have been in situations where, if I was so inclined, could have found myself in bed night after night with beautiful women. I don’t fancy myself to be anything special or some sort of manly man who possesses anything out of the ordinary that attracts the opposite sex. No matter what the situation, being with another woman has never appealed to me. Monogamy for the sake of being monogamous isn’t the driving force behind my desire to remain dedicated to Melinda. I love her with every cell of my body and every fiber of my being and because of how I feel about her, being intimate with her (and only her) is natural and normal.
I know that during our relationship, Melinda has been as dedicated to me as I am to her. The manner in which we throw ourselves at each other – carefree and without holding back – the spiritual connection has limitless depth. We can’t seem to find a point where we stop discovering newness between us which is hard to fathom considering how long we have been together. Before I continue, let me insert into this thought that neither of us is without flaw nor fallibility. We have both screwed up and made poor choices that have impacted each other and we will continue to do so – we are human. Regardless, we continue to grow and remain open to each other’s desires, needs and even fantasies.
Fantasy. This term is considerably subjective. What it means to me could vary wildly from what it means to Melinda. What lies within the meaning is the crux of what we have been talking about as of late with our pillow-talk. It is interesting that after we conclude our love-making and we are cooling down and the sweat and love-liquids still cover our recovering bodies, the idea of fantasies come up. Our pleasure-needs and desires are sated. Our fleshly thirsts, quenched. Our hearts are filled to overflowing. Our guard is completely relaxed. We lay there, talking openly about thoughts that spring forth from deep within.
We just got through with fulfilling one of my fantasies – the mixture of my cum and her wetness still coats my face and lips and I can still taste the wonderful flavor in my mouth. Melinda gives me my fantasy almost every day. “Paul, what deeper fantasies do you have?” she asks. “I know that if we both talked and listened, there is something more that you want us to try,” Melinda asks. As we talk about what it is that we do within our intimacy, neither of us has yet to blurt it out, directly and yet I sense that we are both thinking the same thing. It is odd that two people who have been moving into the most open and honest communication that we have ever experienced, suddenly are dancing around like a high school couple who are trying to figure out how to get the other one into bed without appearing eager or easy.
Here we are, not an any real impasse or stand-off but trying to determine the way to discuss one thing that I believe we both want to talk about. Regardless of whether we take actionable steps, we both should be ready to talk about this together. Fortunately, we have a stretch of days with the kids being away and we will be spending a lot of time together, exploring each other and giving as much pleasure as we can give to one another. We both have been looking forward to these upcoming days and it seems like the most opportune timing to let the subject naturally arise. In terms of breaking the ice, I think that I will do so by sharing a couple images with this post to spark the discussion.
I know that this is a very different concept for a loving and very closely intimate couple, but the idea is lingering within us both.