Why Eat Creampies? That’s a Little Weird, Don’t You Think?

Sometimes I wonder if I am as weird as the “normal” public thinks I am. I enjoy sex with my wife. I should restate that. I enjoy making love to Melinda. Ok, once more. I get the utmost in sexual satisfaction in pleasuring my wife. But the only person who knows me and knows what that entails is my wife. So my weirdness is unknown to the people in my circles. I can imagine that if my friends and family could connect me to this blog, the questions that arise would be very similar to what one can find (proliferated across sex discussion sites) across the internet. Judging by the inquiries and many of the replies (to them), I could only ascertain that I am, in fact, strange…or at least what I like to do during intimacy is.

  • “Why do you eat your cum?”
  • “Isn’t that “gay” to do that?”
  • “What does she get out of you licking up your cum?”
  • “Does she like it when you lick your semen from her pussy?’
  • “What is the attraction to a pussy dripping with cum?”
  • “How do you get past the loss of desire after you experience an orgasm?”
  • “How do wives view this creampie-eating act? Are they aroused by it?”

These are a few of the questions that I and others have had and have been asked by others regarding this highly erotic sexual activity. I know that there are several more that I haven’t listed and I have no doubts that some of you will have more. If you do want to ask me anything directly, I have provided a vehicle for you to do so at the bottom of this post. I will take the time to address them directly.

So what is the big deal about a husband being interested in his cum? It is an interesting question. From (this) man’s perspective, the visual aspect has been at the very center. When I was young, there was a conflict between curiosity and objection (to contact with it).  For other men, I can suppose that there are similar issues and interests. Some of those more driven by there curiosities had no problem with the warm, creamy substance, giving into the idea to sample it. Once that barrier broke, a fair amount of those men had routine oral contact with their seed. Others might have sampled their product, not finding any reason to try again.

The visual of semen leaking back out from inside of her pussy (that one has just finished inside of) is a turn-on for most, if not all husbands. Why? Semen has a life-giving quality (the concept of which resides in the recesses of a man’s consciousness) that when left inside of a fertile woman’s vaginal canal, the possibility of conception is high (during ovulation, of course). When my wife and I were trying to conceive, I was amazed at how aroused I got when I pulled out of her and saw my semen with the understanding that my seed was truly alive with life.  Weird? Probably. But this was a step in my creampie-eating process (progress).

Eating cum. It certainly sounds unappealing when one thinks about it as boiled down to simply ingesting the fluid. But when husband and wife are so aroused to the point that their hormones are raging and they are seemingly on fire as both are fully engaged in each other’s pleasure, eating cum during sexual activity is an amazing demonstration of a husband’s love and passion for his wife. Regardless of how much foreplay and “coreplay” (as described by Ian Kerner in his book, “She Comes First: A Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman“) a husband and wife engage in, the typical intimate encounter concludes with the husband’s orgasm and ejaculation. This amounts to a “one-and-done” situation. Unfortunately for most wives, they are missing out on what could be an over-the-top sexual encounter, replete with multiple orgasms.

Multiple orgasms are not limited to the wives in these extended intimacy sessions. The erotic (and taboo) nature of slipping down to perform cunnilingus on her cum-filled pussy provides the husband with immeasurable increased stimulation always results an erection and the ability to reenter his wife. The ensuing intercourse is vastly superior (to the initial round and initial orgasmic ejaculation). For me and Melinda, an evening of this activity (PIV and oral) results in a series of climaxes that leave us overwhelmingly satisfied and thoroughly exhausted. So that’s why. Eating our cum is a means to a series of ends rather than being the end itself. I had to get past the resistance to my own semen in order to attain my abilities to provide my wife and I with this incredible pleasure.

“Doesn’t the act of eating your own semen mean that you are gay?” It is certainly a common question that gets raised in discussion forums with some regularity. When people pose this question, they seem to be focused solely upon the semen. But we can think of this from a few different angles and apply a smidgen of wisdom and logic to answer this. Most men masturbate (so do a lot of women). It is a simple fact. There are countless surveys (where men commonly admit to self-gratification) to back up that statement. The percentage of men who admit to masturbating is somewhere between 95-99% (of the survey sample). In light of that fact, we can analyze exactly what masturbation (for men) entails. During an instance of arousal, a man must place his hand on a cock and begin to massage and stroke the organ until orgasm and ejaculation. Take a moment and consider that. Is that a homosexual act? Not in the slightest. It is merely sexual self-gratification. The same is true when considering a husband providing pleasure to his wife through oral stimulation regardless of the presence of his semen.

After cumming inside of her, men often lose the drive to continue with their plan to lick the semen as it flows out of her. The visual is amazing and yet the post-ejaculation let-down is difficult to overcome.

Once a husband has decided that he wants to try performing cunnilingus on his wife after his orgasm (during PIV), more than likely, he will be faced with a diminished post-ejaculation libido  (which is very typical for most men). During intercourse, the husband’s arousal is incredibly heightened and he has his mind made up that he is going to move down and orally pleasure his wife.  However, in the waning seconds following his ejaculation, the decision is set aside as the husband gives in to the “let-down” that accompanies orgasm.  It isn’t the husband’s fault, it a normal male response due to the chemicals released within his brain, signaling that the need for intercourse (mating) has subsided (read our post, “Identifying and Understanding the Roadblocks to Continuing Intimacy“).  It seems that men are fighting chemistry and nature. In my opinion (which is  based upon my personal experience and feedback from other men), pushing past the sexual instincts requires one simple yet counter-intuitive step. Just get down there and do it!

If you are a man like me and had to overcome a revulsion toward semen, you’ll have to take a somewhat longer road to get to the point where you can simply push your face into your wife’s cream-filled and covered vulva. This process worked for me and in my estimation, it can work for anyone.

Trust us that once you make the move to do this, the pleasure will be unbelievable for both of you. What are you waiting for? Just put your mouth on her and enjoy the essence of your shared love!

Now that you made it to this point, you probably have a decent overview of this from the husband’s perspective by now. But what about what the women think? How does a wife see this? It is a great question and one that I can only address from anecdotes and personal experience (as relayed from my wife, Melinda).

Though it took some time for me to get to this point, I have learned that my wife has been wanting me to do this for quite some time. Although she didn’t consider the specific aspect of me eating my semen, she did crave having me go down on her to continue stimulating her and helping her to additional orgasms. What I learned through this is that the taboo (and socially forbidden) nature of this gives her an extremely heightened arousal because my tongue is directly immersed into her vagina that is filled with my semen. Now, when we are in the midst of intercourse, she asks me if I am going to clean up my “mess.” Without hesitation, I affirm my intentions and within milliseconds is gripped with orgasm. My own climax is subsequently triggered and I explode inside of her. Because she asks, I know that it is my wife’s desire to have me do this.

Considering all this, the pleasure that a wife and husband can experience – above and beyond the one-and-done norm – should be motivation enough for him to just plant his face into the creamy fray. Our best advice for all husbands is quite simple. JUST DO IT!  Ladies, if your husbands aren’t doing this and they have made it known (to you) that they want to do this, it is also easy. Make it plainly obvious that they need to get down there. As your husband starts cumming, tell them that they are going to go down. When you feel the last pulse of your husband’s cock, don’t let them collapse onto you. Push them down between your legs and pull their faces inward. Take control! If Melinda would have done this, I would have been eating my creampies YEARS ago.

Do you have questions or need some feedback from us? Please send them to us and we will gladly respond to you.

Advertisements

No Rest for the Aroused. Little Sleep for the Needy!

We have fallen into a bad habit of going to bed entirely too late in the past few weeks. For some reason, we cannot seem to get our kids and thus, ourselves to bed at a decent hour. The hot summer nights leave our non-air-conditioned house very warm which makes the idea of laying in or on the bed less than enticing. Despite the heat and lateness, Paul and I are entirely incapable of withholding our intimacy regardless of how much later into the night our sleep is pushed.

I need my sleep. Paul needs it too but he gets up for work regardless of how little rest he was able to get on a given night. Aside from going to bed late and making love before sleep, Paul has other concerns (that I won’t discuss, here) that cause disruptions or keep him from getting even a few hours of sleep. When his alarm sounds and he rises from bed, my sleep is also broken at that point. While he is showering, shaving and getting ready behind the closed-door of the bathroom each morning, I am struggling to fall back asleep.

For the last few years, Paul and I have been making love on a near-daily basis. Between my cycle days, we may miss one day each month. Last night as we lay together after making love, we tried to remember the most recent day that we missed an opportunity to be intimate. In the last three months, Paul and I have been starting our days with magnificent sex. On work days after he is showered and smells incredibly amazing, he bends over to kiss me goodbye and his hands trace my body. While his lips press against mine, his fingers part my pussy and dip into my wetness and within seconds, Paul’s cock is sending me into ecstasy. After we cum and he pulls out of me, I am sated and throbbing yet I am so ready to fall back into deep sleep. Paul dresses and heads off to work with a smile on his face!

Because of the late nights and being absolutely satisfied and filled with the love that Paul left inside of me, I fall back to sleep and don’t wake for a few more hours. The rest of the day, Paul’s reminder of himself is apparent. I smell his scent on my skin and the fragrance of his semen mixed with my wetness floods the room when I change for a run or shower. I am tired and relaxed. After a run, Paul’s love is still flowing from me. Though I complete what I want to accomplish and my distractions are minimal, my prevailing thoughts are of his return and the desire to be wrapped around him once again and yet, we repeat the late night once more. From the moment he walks in the door, his embraces and kisses, soft caresses and squeezes of my ass are incessant and wonderful. Ever indication that we are giving to each other is that we cannot wait to tear off our clothes and reunite our bodies in heated passion.  And still, we remain up late.

As I write this, I am dreaming of Paul’s chest and hands. My desire to trace his muscles and caress his nipples and gently kiss his torso is an almost overbearing need. I want his hands around me, gliding over my ass and the small of my back as our tongues meet in our kiss. That moment when we can finally be together tonight, skin to skin. Time passes so slowly but the anticipation for our union compounds. I am aflame inside with desire to be taken by my husband. I need to feel his hands upon every inch of my body. I need to feel his weight on me as he moves inside of me, thrusting and withdrawing as his animal instincts command his motions. Senses-overload when his tongue meets my pussy again tonight. My body will quake with shuddering release. Paul doesn’t have to think about a single action. His body, hands, tongue and cock know me and how to deliver me into climax though I wish that I could hold it in that mouth-watering build-up where I am at my most insatiable. When I feel my body and soul move over the edge, I know that I am no longer in any form of control. I am at the mercy of pleasure and it will get to the point where it MUST cease or I will lose myself.  Paul senses my need for cessation and moves his body to enter me again and I am taken to another realm of heaven.

My meandering thoughts are too much for this to make sense to anyone. It doesn’t seem intelligible in the least as I read back through what I wrote.  This post was only meant to pour out my heart as I lament my need for being in bed much sooner than we have been.

I am weary from it all and yet I only need more with Paul.

Giving Him His Fantasies Means that I, too Receive!

We were exhausted. It was not the kind of fatigue or tiredness that one feels after a long run or a full day of physical labor (working in the yard?) but that satisfied feeling that we experience after the release of all the sexual and emotional energy over the course of a few hours connected with the one you love. Paul and I laid there in the moment, talking about how wonderful each other is. My body was almost sore from the delicious touching, tasting, licking, caressing, nibbling that Paul gave to me. My pussy was fatigued (not sore or raw that it can sometimes feel) but that sensation that we have that is an external indication that I needed a few hours before I could imagine him entering me again.

We are at a point in our lives where we no longer hold back from what we talk about. On this particular night, Paul asked me about sensual fantasies that might be lingering that I am holding back from discussing with him (there are, but we aren’t going to talk about them on our blog, just yet). I mentioned a few but then we found ourselves talking about his fantasy that led to us thinking about having a blog. His fantasy was one that was born from his near-revulsion that he had surrounding his semen. Aside from the loss of interest in sex that men experience (especially with younger men), Paul avoided his semen after he released whether it was inside of me, on me or in my mouth. He wouldn’t dream of kissing me after his cock had been in my mouth even if I didn’t suck him to orgasm.

Now that this cum-resistance has long passed, we seem to have taken for granted that he is always eager to put his mouth where his gorgeous cock has been; cum or no cum. It is pure joy for us both as it always leads to more orgasms for both of us.

Getting back to the discussion of fantasies, Paul loves being directed – or, should I say, “ordered?” He loves it when I tell him that he better get down to my pussy and clean his mess. He loves being told to share his cum with me. He loves it all! Paul mentioned how he still has an initial (perhaps, instinctual), visceral response when he pulls his cum-covered cock from inside of me and he sees his semen covering my labia, clit and then is begins to flow from inside of me. He hesitates and I can tell that he is momentarily (internally) addressing his avoidance instinct and is conflicted by how he loves tasting his cum on me. This is when I know that he desires my verbal intervention. It is nothing short (pun very much intended) of amazing when his cock springs to attention in mere seconds after I tell him, “Baby, you better get down there and clean up your mess!” I tell him. “I want to taste us, too! Go get it and bring it to me!”

Seconds after telling him to go down on me, I am in heaven feeling his tongue entering me and licking my vulva. The sounds of his moaning and the wetness only makes it even more enjoyable. In the midst of it all, because I am still so sensitive from having him fucking me, I find myself overrun with a succession of orgasms and demanding that his cock be inside of me yet again!

I love making my husband’s fantasies a reality. I love to give to him. In giving to him what he wants, I too receive the blessings of a love and loving relationship that is beyond fulfilling. This man truly loves me and I love and adore him.

Now, Paul…about my fantasies…

Finally! I broke through and Cleaned the Mess I Made

The evening was one of decadence. I veritable sensual assault on my palate and my libido. Melinda’s orgasmic release was only heightened by my whisperings, telling her of my plans only to be further escalated when tongue met saturated vulva and the seminal-vaginal fluid mixture was consumed, lick by gentle lick.

Authors’ note: This article was written in the context of Paul’s journey to break through the barrier of inhibition about eating his creampies with his wife. We will be sharing several more articles that address many of the obstacles that we both had to overcome to attain the sexual freedom we now enjoy.

After so many nights (days, weeks, months…er…years) of sexual activities, last night was THE breakthrough that I’ve awaited with much anticipation. Utterly amazing what overcoming a barrier like this has done for lighting up our bed! I am so encouraged that I will now be able to incorporate post-(orgasm) ejaculation cunnilingus into our sexual encounters and activities on a recurring, if not regular basis!

The evening began like many others – a shower and the warm-up kissing and mutual caressing. Melinda noted the small, battery powered bullet and wondered why it was out being as her favorite toy is her Lelo Sorya due to the overwhelming orgasms she achieves from brief stimulation. When I told her that it was for use on me during fellatio, she was quietly excited at the idea of something spicy to do for me.

When she was ready to move down to me, she grabbed my cock and began stroking the shaft and caressing my boys. Her lips met the head and she began to lick around, moving down to the underside of the glans and corona. Switching on the bullet, she immediately began to apply vibration to the base of the shaft whilst sucking and licking the head. The tingles from the pulsation traveled to the shaft and to my perineum muscles and prostate. The sensation was, to say the least, fabulous!

After a few orgasmic near misses (I got very close to ejaculation), Melinda pulled off, laid back and I moved in for some stroking – my goal to edge a number of times in order to fill her with semen prior to licking her. As I entered, I noticed an unusual increase in arousal and sensitivity in both of us – most likely due to the addition of the vibrator. Melinda’s labia and clitoral shaft were enlarged more than normal without a stroke of stimulation. My sensitivity had me at the point of no return after one or two strokes.

With some careful maneuvering and positioning, I was able to commence in long-term thrusting, trying desperately to push my penis head to the spongy “G-spot” area of the inside of her pussy. Within 5-6 minutes, I felt the prostate pressure mounting and I shortened my strokes to get my orgasm to the edge slowly to prevent myself from going over. As I felt the ejaculation urge arise, I clamped down on the PC-muscle stopping the orgasm while releasing a full pulsations of semen. The beauty of employing the edging technique (provided one is diligent with Kegel exercises and has a strong PC-muscle) is that extending penis-in-vagina activities to be prolonged while her pussy gets increasingly lubricated with the accumulating semen.

Following the third edged-release of my semen, I spied my cock as I withdrew from Melinda’s sloppy pussy to see that it had the appearance of a glistening freshly glazed, elongated doughnut. I looked at my wife’s vaginal opening in time to see a large glob of pearlescent liquid beginning to breech her labia. Extremely aroused and excited, I leaned down thrusting my tongue into the warm cum and scooped out a what seemed like a mouthful. The rich thickness of our cum was overwhelming. I could taste the combination of our flavours swirled together into a concoction of sexy nectar. I continued to extract as much as I could reach with my tongue, stopping only to insert my index finger to scoop out what was beyond the tip of my tongue.

I dragged residue out and upward as I coated Melinda’s labia and clitoral hood with our love juices. I was sensing the tingling sensation on my tongue and in my mouth so I was certain that her vulvar region was similarly stimulated. I began to work on teasing her lips and frenulum while hinting at contact with her clitoris. I continued to work for a time, escalating her arousal as I increased my tongue strokes. She experienced a few small arousal peaks as I worked. Melinda’s excitement was climbing and she begged for the Sorya.

Wanting to oblige her, I reached for the pink wonder and eased in. With a few strokes, Melinda heaved her hips back, begging me to turn it on as she invited a deeper thrust. With a press of the button, the friendly hum engaged and she settled into the sensation. I continued to lick and tease her clit as I worked the toy. Within a few minutes, her body clenched as she tightened for a massive orgasm. Her scream of delight was so loud, I knew the children had to be awakened. With the warm spring evening and the windows open, every neighbor on our street HAD to know that she was hitting the high of orgasmic highs. I have come to enjoy her climaxes more than my own as her signals are so excitingly sexy!

Melinda, not wanting to come down too far after I shut down her Sorya, begged me to get inside of her. As a husband seeking every opportunity to please her, I rapidly obeyed and entered for another session of intercourse. Moments into thrusting, I began to think of how I wanted to broach the subject of eating her creampie. I began to tell her how much I enjoy the sloppy liquids that we create. I began to tell her how sexy the mess is. Melinda’s responses were so electrifying as she spread her legs wide and pulled them back, allowing me to go as deep as I wanted. Her breathing began to get very rapid as she affirmed how sexy she thought it was. I told her that I was going to taste our juices after I came…and she lost all control.

Melinda began to orgasm again (which seldom occurs during intercourse). She said that it was incredibly sexy that I was going to do that. My wife was so heated and so turned on at the thought of me lapping up my semen and her juices…the massive flow…that she just let loose. I couldn’t help but let go of all control. No more edging. No more holding back. I let go of such a wonderfully massive orgasm as my cock began to throb sending pulse after pulse of liquid rushing into her beautiful pussy.

After 8-9 squirts, I quickly withdrew and headed down. The look in her eyes of innocence and allure as she watched me head down once again, this time without a doubt as to the mess at hand. She and I were out of our minds with excitement as I lapped up every drop of liquid that I could get my tongue on. I continued to work her after cleaning all of the visible and reachable cum that I could find. After all was said and done, Melinda headed to the bathroom for her usual post-ejaculation cleanup only to find that there was NOTHING left. I had taken it all in. Her delighted smile was all I needed to see to confirm that we had broken through. This was the milestone that I have been working for the last year to achieve.

The evening was one of decadence. I veritable sensual assault on my palate and my libido. Melinda’s orgasmic release was only heightened by my whisperings, telling her of my plans only to be further escalated when tongue met saturated vulva and the seminal-vaginal fluid mixture was consumed, lick by gentle lick.

Creampie-Eating: A Woman’s Perspective

What is it about creampie eating that makes some males so excited? Is it the thought that this is truly eating the forbidden fruit: or is it the strong desire to please our ladies? Either way, some men want to eat creampie prior to cumming but most shy away after. This article is about the joy women receive from creampie licking and how to teach your man to get over the creampie blues. Most couples report that their relationship and love making rocket to the next level once the creampie blues are understood and overcome.

Sometimes, a writer must concede that he or she is not the authority on a topic or in this case, the perspective of a segment of the population of which he or she is not a member. In trying to convey the female perspective on husbands performing cunnilingus on their wives following (penis-in-vagina, or PIV) sex and subsequent ejaculation, I found this attributable article that conveys the message that I have been attempting to deliver to you. While I found the article on the Love Talk Forum (LTF) enlightening, the poster didn’t reveal their source. After several days of searching, I was unable to locate the source of this wonderful message.

I did take some liberty to make minor grammatical and punctuation changes along with some softening of the terms and verbiage to make the post more congruent with the rest of the The Essence of Making Love blog content. I have provided a link to the source (on the LTF) to give access to those of you who prefer the raw, unfiltered text.

——————————————————————————————

Source: Love Talk Forum (disbanded)
Thread title: Oral sex after sex. I’ve been getting these questions about creampies
Original Author: Unknown
Date Posted: 5 October 2010

What is it about creampie eating that makes some males so excited? Is it the thought that this is truly eating the forbidden fruit: or is it the strong desire to please our ladies? Either way, some men want to eat creampie prior to cumming but most shy away after. This article is about the joy women receive from creampie licking and how to teach your man to get over the creampie blues. Most couples report that their relationship and love making rocket to the next level once the creampie blues are understood and overcome.

The vast majority (99.9%) of men, an orgasm is immediately followed by, for lack of a better term, the Post-Orgasm Blues (POB). POB is a very legitimate feeling. It is the feeling you get after orgasm that just makes you want to curl up in a ball and go to sleep, turn the game back on or do anything except think about sex.  You cum and immediately you lose interest in sex for a little while. There’s no escaping it. POB is a physiological response caused by cascading hormones in your brain. You have little to no control over (without training and encouragement).

The orgasmic cycle and POB physiological response is described (source):

An orgasm (sexual climax) is the conclusion of the plateau phase of the sexual response cycle and may be experienced by both males and females. Orgasm is characterized by intense physical pleasure, controlled by the involuntary, or autonomic, nervous system. It is accompanied by quick cycles of muscle contraction in the lower pelvic muscles, which surround the primary sexual organs and the anus. Orgasms are often associated with other involuntary actions, including muscular spasms in other areas of the body, a general euphoric sensation, and frequently, vocalizations. 

Post orgasm is often experienced as relaxing, which is attributed to the release of prolactin. Male and female brains demonstrate similar changes during orgasm, with brain scans showing a temporary reduction in the activity of large parts of the cerebral cortex. Sexual drive is greatly reduced after orgasm. 

Prolactin (PRL) or Luteotropic hormone (LTH) is a peptide hormone primarily associated with lactation. In breastfeeding, the act of an infant suckling the nipple stimulates the production of prolactin, which fills the breast with milk via a process called lactogenesis, in preparation for the next feed. Oxytocin, another hormone, is also released, which triggers milk let-down. 

In the heat of passion he think he wants to clean out your vagina, but it’s easier said than done because POB can be pretty powerful. Biology trumps desire almost every time.

And let’s forget about the homophobic angle here while we’re on the subject of creampies, shall we? Since when is cunnilingus a homosexual activity (well, unless you’re a lesbian–but that’s another post). I’m not saying that creampies aren’t out there on the fringe – but there’s certainly nothing homosexual about them. Eating a creampie might make him kinky, submissive, or even a little humiliated but it doesn’t make him gay. It makes him a better lover.

So…is it possible to train your man to defeat POB and eat creampie? That’s a good question. You and your partner will be happy to hear the answer is a definite YES. The effects of POB can be overcome. Your brain can be taught to do anything it naturally says “no” to. It takes practice, encouragement, understanding and the most important thing, desire. Not all men have the desire, but if you are with a man who has a desire to eat creampie then you owe it to yourself and him to overcome the POB’s because your sex life and that of your partner will be greatly improved. Consider yourselves one of the lucky ones. Creampie eating is one of the closest, trusting experiences any couple can do. Once he overcome the blues you will want to make it part of your lovemaking routine. Most women say they wished there men had confided in them years ago.

Here are a few proven ways for beating the post-orgasm blues. Most females take to these suggestions quickly and normally report that they take an active role in being the initiators in sex. A female’s sex drive is much higher than that of a male so your frequency will increase dramatically. After all, practice makes perfect. Also, most women report enjoying the feeling of control they are have over their partners. Because of this, creampie-eating will become a constant part of your sexual repertoire.

  • Just do it. This sounds simple, but caving in to POB really is largely mental. If someone rang a fire alarm right after he came, he could muster the energy to get out alive and maybe even spare some energy to put on clothes. He is not in coma, so snap him out of it and have him clean you. You know he has a strong desire and now it’s your turn to cum.
  • Consider creampie eating part of lovemaking, the middle part. Part of the problem for him is an orgasm is a nice stopping place, like a period to a sentence. If you considered it a comma, you would just go on. If he is able to make you cum first, you always had to keep your sexual drive high enough to let him do his deed. Now is the time to change that. When he cums, its your turn, have him slide down as if you are ready for the next phase in a continuous lovemaking medley and you are not done yet.With this attitude, you can keep going all night. Ladies – here is where you can truly take an active part in coaching your man. Men who have a desire to eat creampie, already love cunnilingus. Take charge and have him lick your vulva. Get hot and get wet but do not let your orgasm come. Have the discipline to stop him and tell him to enter you and thrust inside of you hard and deep. After he releases insist that it is your turn and push him south. Not only do you get to enjoy and orgasm (or two), but you will be squeaky clean.
  • Change up the times of that you make love. If you always have intimacy at night, he (and you) will already be tired before you begin. The POB just adds to his exhaustion and he drop happily into sleep. Why not try a “nooner” or a “wake-me-up?” His energy level will still be high and he will have a better chance of defeating the dreaded POB.
  • Why not take a rest? Who says that ten seconds after his last ejaculation spurt that he needs to be heading south? Spend a minute, two minutes, ten or fifteen — whatever it takes! — then slide down. OK, so you will have drained a little but that’s ok. Collect any leakage and place it on your clitoris. You don’t want to make a mess and you sure don’t want him to miss any of his treat. This also allows for more excitement for you. Make him lick your fingers clean while he is taking a rest. I also suggest that you shave. It makes cleaning up  your vulva easier and (most) men love the “clean” look. Besides, trying to lick clean matted pubic hair is almost impossible.Talk it over with him. This desire has been around for years. He has confided with you a very personal wish. Let him know your feelings and you love the idea of him licking you clean. That alone can resolve emotional issues such as embarrassment that masquerade as POB. Tease him by telling him “your going to lick me clean tonight”. This will keep both of your sexual excitement high. Take him by the hand and say, “time for your creampie” and lead him off to the bedroom when he least expects it. No more just watching TV all night. Also give him encouragement, which can be helpful. Tell him you’re going to sit on his face afterward. When he is down there licking you clean, talk to him:“That’s it honey, lick me clean!”
    “Isn’t this what you wanted?”
    “It feels great!”
  • Give it a practice run. Have him thrust inside you for a little while and then lick you a little. Thrust some more, lick some more. Keep it up, and after he cums, it is just another part of the cycle.
  • Ladies – treat this like basketball tryouts; that something this good is worth fighting for! Make him earn a position on the bench. Be his coach. Coaching is about verbal instructions, lots of reinforced behavior change, being tough, caring, aiming for perfection and practice, practice, practice. If you feel semen running down the crack of your bottom, tell him that he is missing some and make sure he licks it up. I suggest in the early stages of overcoming his POB, make him clean you out as often as you can. When I was training my husband he ate me out 2 times/day. Once in the morning and sometime during the day. That lasted a week. After that, we settled into a regular pattern and because of that, he became a pro. But even professionals need practice. I still surprise him when he least expects it. Such as 20 minutes before we need to leave for his mother’s house for dinner. But spontaneity and surprises are fun.
  • Last but definitely not least, collect and save his semen from the night before. Have him collect it in a glass and kept it fresh in the fridge. The next night, prior to heading to bed poured it all over your vulva. When he goes down (prior to POD), he is greeted with day old creampie. It is a fantastic training method, but once you are trained, semen (like bread) is much better when freshly made than day old.

Ladies treat your man’s desire as a gift. You have an opportunity to take control in your sexual activities. There are women in this world who have never experienced an orgasm. You are blessed with a man who has a unique desire that needs to be embraced and developed. Having a man lick your vulva is one thing, but teaching him to love eating creampie, gives you a very special position of authority in love making. Generally, you are in control. You are the last one to cum and you no longer leak all over the place. Enjoy your new found role in love-making. Good luck and don’t take “no” for an answer. In no time flat your lover will be enjoying himself and, rest assured that you both will be.

If your lover finds this desire of yours to be a turn on or even just as tolerable, you (both) are in for a radical change. You will be fulfilling your desire more than you ever dreamed. Most couples report a ten-fold increase in their love-making because she loves her new role in the bedroom and feels there is a lot of catching up to do.

 

Letting Go of Ourselves and Pressing Into Our Relationship and Intimacy

Love Making

Have you ever had one of those conversations with your spouse, partner or lover about what the depth of your love could enable you to achieve? Have you given thought to what sorts of feats you would accomplish to demonstrate the love you have for the other? Have you considered what barriers or obstacles that you could blow through in order to span a measure of the distance to demonstrate to him or her what extent you are willing to travel for them?

Obviously, with a blog title of The Essence of Love-Making and the subject matter that lies within, there is one very erotic action that would be raised as one of the questions that I referred to in the previous paragraph (more on this particular question later). What are the barriers that preclude us from demonstrating absolute comfort with our partner? Melinda and I considered that we could make this more specific…does your love compel you to do things that you would ordinarily view as being “gross?”

I find myself increasingly laying down what was once uncomfortable (or, gross, if that term works better for you) in favor of wanting to not let my own inhibitions stand in the way of my affection.  Let me list a few of examples below along with how I now (or desire) to respond.

  1. Deep, passionate kisses first thing in the morning (forsaking morning breath). If we both have morning breath, why does it matter? Kiss away! Kiss freely!!
  2. Full contact, bodies pressed together, hugs when she is sweaty from a workout. Unless I am wearing a suit and preparing to head out for some other special occasion, I will hug her. If she is finishing an athletic event (running race, triathlon, etc.), you had better believe that I am going to hug her in celebration! The question is, does (or will) she hug me?
  3. Making love after a full day (i.e., not showering before intimacy). I know that some couples (especially depending upon what sort of work either does) will absolutely avoid physical contact until after their bodies are clean. Unless I have been out camping for three days, I have no problem with getting our bodies together for passionate sex without a shower. If we both are days without a shower, it truly doesn’t matter.
  4. Oral sex without an immediately prior shower. (see #3). I do enjoy her fragrance and I have no issues with being “down there,” especially if the intimacy is spontaneous and uncontrollable. My natural inclination is to head south no matter what and give her all the pleasure that she desires and can handle.
  5. Kissing after oral sex. For me, this is an absolute no hesitation move. If she goes down on me and takes me to completion, not only would I not resist her kiss, but I need her to kiss me! The same is true for the roles to be reversed. After I pleasure her, I am going to kiss her deeply. Our love fluids are no longer a roadblock for me – instead, they are an on-ramp to the next intimacy freeway!
  6. Wake-up sex following a previous evening of sex. This isn’t a consideration for me. Of course I am ready for sex first thing in the morning. I do like the messy nature of it all and to be with her through all of that is heavenly!
  7. Wake-up oral sex. By now, these situations seem silly. Why would I not go down? I want to wake her up with oral!!
  8. Oral sex following penetrative (i.e. intercourse). Again, this is ridiculous considering the nature of my blog and what I absolutely enjoy doing. It went from a goal to something that is a facet of making love. A means to take intimacy to new levels.
  9. Wake-up oral sex after a prior evening of sex. This is something that I have never tried nor experienced. The idea is sexy yet there needs to be a measure of intimate trust that will allow for me to do this. Does she trust me with her body? Would she let herself be vulnerable to my oral desires? I want to experiment with this one day.

There are other, less physically sexual, yet no less sensual expressions that come to mind. Sharing food from the same utensil? How about the ultimate in food sharing…biting from the same apple (a la Adam and Eve)? What comes to your mind? What do you see yourself doing or wanting your other half to do?

Blowing Past the Roadblocks and Extending Intimacy (Part II)

Male physiological response to orgasm and ejaculation is, for the most part, carved into stone. However, there are ways to push beyond the physical limitations but, like wheeling a large ship, the rudders take time to respond to the helm commands.

In Part I of this topic, I covered a handful of the roadblocks that couples (husbands in particular) encounter, preventing them from reaching beyond the gravitational bonds of routine and vanilla intimacy. As one of my friends suggests, the “one and done” mindset (meaning, a single orgasm for one or both spouses) during intimacy can become the norm for far too many marriages without any awareness or realizations that they have become mired in a sexual rut. Like Burt Reynolds’ character (Bandit) in the film, Smokey and the Bandit, I have been bursting through those roadblocks like a 1978 Trans Am running from Sheriff Buford T. Justice.

My hope is that what I am covering today in Part II will provide you with the motivation, excitement and high octane fuel for my readers to blow through each barricade with the accelerator pedal pushed to the floor and through it. I only ask of my readers that they take into consideration that what worked (and is working) for me, may not bring you the same success or, if it does, not in the same timing. The two-most important tools to breaking through are patience and communication.

Overcoming body chemistry limitations
Male physiological response to orgasm and ejaculation is, for the most part, carved into stone. However, there are ways to push beyond the physical limitations but, like wheeling a large ship, the rudders take time to respond to the helm commands. We have to lighten the load, so to speak, in order to make the vessel more responsive. We can’t be dragging an anchor in the water or have a tow-line attached to a ore-laden barge while trying to maneuver as a speedy, nimble frigate.

Stowe the Anchor
What are you dragging that you could retract? Some of us men have challenges with our semen.  In my experience, I had a semen avoidance problem. Though, in my fantasies, I wanted to perform oral on my wife after I ejaculated inside of her, I couldn’t get passed being squeamish around my ejaculate. I had to slowly walk myself through this process. Having made the decision to eat my creampies, first, I masturbated to the point where my penis began emitting precum. From there, I had to start sampling this liquid in order to get an idea of what my cum tasted like. After several sessions (over the course of a few months off and on), I was masturbating to full ejaculation (and orgasm) into my hand and sampling from the large deposit. It still took some time before I could take the entire load into my mouth.

(Note: Squeamish folks may want to skip past this paragraph.) In order to take all of my ejaculate, I thought that it would be easier if I could take it straight from the tap. Being fairly flexible and athletic, one day, I began working my penis and the thought occurred to me that I could contort my body to get the head of my penis close to my mouth when I got close to the point of orgasm. When I felt the pressure rise, I opened my mouth and fired away. Most of my load (at least a tablespoon+) shot and drizzled into my mouth while some deposited onto my chin. I swirled (what was then, the largest amount of my cum that I have had in my mouth) the sweet and salty, warm substance around to get a good idea of it and then swallowed it down. I now knew full well what my wife had been enjoying (yes, she tells me that she loves my product) for years. That roadblock is firmly and resoundingly smashed. Having broken through, I no longer masturbate to eat my semen as I have progressed.

Crank up the Engines for Increased Maneuverability
I am as stubborn as they come and when it comes to breaking through these obstacles, I move slowly. If you understand basic seamanship, you know that adding speed along with rudder changes makes the vessel respond quickly and much more nimble. Not happy with my successive failures in achieving my creampie eating objectives, I determined that I might have better success if I could fill my wife with semen without experiencing full orgasmic ejaculations. During sexual stimulation and arousal, men experience small releases of seminal fluids that serve to lubricate the vagina. In layman’s terms, this is known as precum. However, this dribble of fluid would hardly serve to saturate my wife’s vagina to the point where I’d be happy having eaten a creampie. No, I had to take a different approach.

Throughout our sexual relationship, I have gained awareness of the pressure buildup that is the precursor to orgasm. In many intercourse sessions, in my attempts to prolong the enjoyment for both my wife and me, as I felt the impending point of no return, I could stop thrusting to avoid orgasm. In doing so, I would release an amount of ejaculate that was quite similar to what I achieved when releasing a full orgasm. Recommencing thrusting, I could feel the obvious flood of semen that was now present inside my wife. This process is what I term as “edging.” Armed with this knowledge, I thought that rather than try to wait until after I had an orgasm, I could spend some time having penis-in-vagina (PIV) intercourse, ejaculate into my wife via edging, then move down for some delightfully sloppy cunnilingus.  After a few times of edging and subsequent pie-eating, the mental block begins to decay.

My Sails are Unfurled, But the Air is Calm There is nothing quite like dead air when your ship is trying to make way. You have no power to move and obviously, there is no power to change your course. You’re stuck, dead in the water (DIW). In my previous two methods of breaking through the roadblocks, I have addressed to proven methods to overcome some specific challenges that are rooted more in the mental arena. This method is used to overcome a physical challenge that can arise when attempting to use the edging technique.

In the midst of PIV intercourse, you sense the rise of pressure as you are heading to eminent orgasm. As you become aware, of the impending moment, you decide that you want to shut off the orgasm before you reach the PONR only to find that you are physically incapable of doing so successfully. Suddenly, your penis is throbbing as spurt after spurt of semen is flinging amazingly into your wife’s vagina. The inevitable happens again as your loss of desire in eating her creampie rears up once again. Dead in the water.

This happened to me on so many occasions that I’d be better served counting the hairs on my thickly-covered scalp than to tally the numbers of failed attempts to control my ejaculations. I read some information about premature ejaculation and incontinence (not that I suffer from either of these very devastating conditions) while keying in on the idea that one can shut off the flow of ejaculation. Kegel exercises can help with many aspects of male (and female) sex organ health. For me, they have helped me to gain absolute control over my ejaculatory response.

I have an app on my Android phone that helps me keep on track with my exercises. I am prompted to work out my PC muscle 3-4 times a day, adhering to the strict repetitions and intervals of each set. The results are downright amazing. In just a few days of exercising, I could shut down the orgasm while my ejaculations occurred. Today, I can edge 3-4 times (each edge produces 3-5 spurts of semen) which leaves a considerable amount of fluids inside my wife.

All Engines Ahead Full!  Communication is imperative in navigating a ship. The coordination of information between the navigation plotters, the folks shooting visual bearings, the ship’s conning officer and the helmsman is a delicate, yet deliberate dance of oral interaction and actions. Without the direct flow of information, chaos ensues and the ship can stand into danger.

The same principle applies in the bedroom. The single most effective method in overcoming barriers in this creampie quest that propelled me the furthest and fastest was communication. When I finally realized that my bride who loved me and honored me as her husband would harbor no ill thoughts toward me when I told her about my desires. Once I fully understood that my deepest, most erotic thoughts were safe with her (and hers with me), I knew that we would be able to enjoy so much more during our sexual intimacy.

I told Melinda initially (about my desire to lick her cum-soaked vulva) while I was in the midst of thrusting during intercourse. Her immediate escalation of arousal was an obvious sexual response, but it wasn’t in the realm of her consciousness yet. I had to do that during an authentically open dialog in the proper context (she can’t talk about sex unless she’s already thinking about it). At first, her reaction was lacking enthusiasm, however the more she considered it, the more she liked the idea. Since then, she is very encouraging and prepares us both for my creampie eating session.

There are certainly other methods that folks have employed in overcoming these barriers. While those I described are what I used, there are, perhaps others that some of you want to share. I also know that there are women out there who desire for their husbands to do this, but as of yet, haven’t bothered to propose it to them due to a myriad of concerns that could result in rejection.

If you have taken the lead in overcoming any roadblocks in the pursuit of creampie eating (either as a giver or recipient), we would love to hear what has worked for you!