The scent was familiar. I felt like I was hit on the head to the point of unconsciousness. My brain was lagging behind my body. I could feel a delicate touch on my neck. Softness. Moist tenderness.
“Wake up, Paul”
The life of a parents of very active teens and tweens is not something that flows along with relative ease. Recalling the days of being extremely fatigued when our children were merely toddlers and infants and the idea that before long, these needy and incredibly dependent people would be older, possess the ability to take care of their basic daily functions (getting dressed, bathing, dental hygiene, etc.) affording my wife and I a bit more time to enjoy each other’s companionship, I now realize that I grossly underestimated their time demands.
Our children lead active individual lives which means that both my wife and I are running them around to various activities and events. In addition, Melinda and I are busy juggling workout and training schedules and aligning our own athletic endeavors while trying to mesh them with those of our kids. Factor in work and school schedules, the work that I bring home and my children’s home work, music lessons, etc. and one has to wonder how much time is left over for all of the other needs – house keeping, maintenance of our home, vehicles, etc. Our family life is not that different from most. One has to wonder what time, if any, remains for my wife and me to be intimate. Time isn’t the only question mark.
Exercise is very important to both Melinda and me. We both participate in athletic competitions throughout the year which requires dedication to aggressive training schedules. I spend two-three hours, five days per week and one additional day (when weather permits) with 4-6 hours of exercise. My wife’s events are different and don’t require as rigorous of a training regimen. Regardless, we both expend a lot of energy and effort. At the end of our day we are left living on reserves (we are tired and lacking energy) and when we shut off the lights, sleep comes rather swiftly for Melinda however, the same is not true for me (this is an entirely different story). When do we find time for intimacy?
Our regular readers are by now wondering, “how in the world do you two manage to have so much sex with that sort of schedule?” Asking that question is very fair. Most couples are too exhausted by the time their children go to bed that they just follow suit and prepare for the next day by heading to sleep, themselves. Melinda and I value our alone time once the kids are in their rooms for the evening. We do enjoy unwinding at the end of the evening when our attention is no longer being pulled in four separate directions. There is no more arguing (and subsequent refereeing). The house is quiet. Any normal couple, following such a jam-packed day would be exhausted, and we aren’t any different. Rather than simply shut down, we catch up on more personal matters with adult conversation. We do finally retire to the bedroom with either or both of us detecting the other’s hinting-body language.
Typically, nights like these would end up with us in the throes of passion, our bodies inseparably entwined and complete with heat, sweat and glorious sounds of ecstasy. However, there are some evenings where one of us barely disrobes (following the typical hygienic routines) and is utterly engulfed in sleep, leaving the other left to their own devices (typically, me – since I avoid sleep for as long as possible).
I didn’t know what was going on. My body was already responding to what it was sensing but my mind remained in a distant, frightful place. Haunted by the terror of my past, my dreams violently catapulted me from the comfort of my bed, careening into excruciating and painful memories as vibrant and real as my waking moments.
“Paul!” the voice whispered loudly. I could feel the tender movements across my shoulders. I was being drawn back into the room. The darkened walls of my bedroom and the present day began to take shape around me.
“Melinda?” I responded.
“I want you, sweetie,” she whispered into my ear. “Make love to me!” I could taste her sweet breath as she spoke. My back was exposed to her as she tucked herself in behind me, kissing the back of my neck. Her hand slid down my arm, her hand coming to rest on my hip. My wife’s fingers tugged at the waistband of my boxers before sliding beneath, encroaching. Melinda pulled her face closer to the side of my head, drawing my earlobe between her lips. I felt the wetness of her tongue dabbing and darting around, her hand continuing into my boxers, tracing my hip and pushing toward my cock.
“MmmmMMm! You’re awake, now! Aren’t you, sweetie?” Melinda whispered. I was sensing her smiling lips as she took pleasure in my rapidly growing erection. I glanced at my clock and noticed the time.
I had less than an hour before my alarm was set to blast me awake and I was engulfed in the embrace and excitement of my wife who was wanting me to give her the pleasure that we missed out on only a few hours previously and there was absolutely no way that I was going to deny her (or myself)….
I am very easy to convince and I am not easily set off by lost sleeping opportunities. My wife and I both find ways to ensure that our sexual needs are being met, even at the expense of a few moments of R.E.M. sleep. On this occasion, she rescued me from my damaged subconscious mind, replacing suffering with pleasure (this happens a few times each year). In order to meet our needs, we have to be creative as neither of us does well when too many days (two or more) pass without us having some sort of mutual release.
To what extent are you willing to please your significant other?
Do you go out of your way, to bring him or her pleasure?
I write about serving each other in our marriage (not just intimately, but in all areas) and both Melinda and I live this out everyday in our relationship.